Human Communication: The Basic Course Twelfth Edition PowerPoint™ Presentations prepared by: Naomi Young University of California, San Diego Joseph A. DeVito Hunter College of the City University of New York

Chapter Eight: Relationship Stages and Theories This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program. Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Chapter Goals Learn About: The ways in which relationships develop and the stages they go through The theories that attempt to account for our relationship decisions and choices The “dark side” of relationships Learn To: Communicate in appropriate ways to your relationship stage Assess your own relationship behavior and make adjustments as needed Deal with relationship jealousy and violence in productive ways Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. 3

Interpersonal Relationship –Advantages Lessen loneliness Learn about yourself Contribute to physical And emotional health Maximize pleasure, minimize pain Provides stimulation Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Disadvantages of Interpersonal Relationships Pressure for self-disclosure Increased obligations to others Potential for abandonment Difficulty in dissolution Possible loss of relationship Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Relationship Stages Contact Involvement Intimacy Deterioration Repair Dissolution Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Relationship Stages Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Contact Perceptual contact Interactional contact Qualities such as friendliness, warmth, openness, and dynamism are revealed at the contact stage Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Involvement Development of mutuality and connectedness Partner ‘testing’ Self-disclosure Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Intimacy Express thoughts and feelings Commit yourself further to that person Becomes best friend, lover, or companion Communication more personalized, synchronized Increase affiliate cues Duchenne smiles Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Deterioration Poor communication Third-Party relationships Relationship changes Sex- and work- related problems Financial difficulties Beliefs about relationship Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Phases of Deterioration Interpersonal separation Social/public separation Avoidance Definition change of relationship “Good-bye” phase Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Repair Recognize problem Conflict resolution Pose solutions Affirm each other Integrate solutions Risk giving Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Dissolution Break loneliness-depression cycle Take time out Bolster self-esteem Seek support of others Avoid repeating negative patterns Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Relationship Theories Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Attraction Theory Similarity Proximity Reinforcement Physical Attractiveness - greater sense of familiarity with attractive people Culture influences attractiveness Personality – influences attractiveness; pleasantness preferred Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Relationship Rules Theory Friendship Rules Romantic Rules Family Rules Workplace Rules Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Relationship Dialectics Theory Argues that people in a relationship experience dynamic tensions between pairs of opposing motives or desires Closedness and openness Autonomy and connection Novelty and predictability Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Social Penetration Theory Describes relationships in terms of the number of topics that people talk about and their degree of “personalness” Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Two Other Theories Social Exchange Theory Equity Theory Claims that you develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits Rewards Costs Profits Equity Theory Claims that people develop and maintain relationships in which the ratio of your rewards relative to your costs is approximately equal to your partner’s Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

The “Dark Side” of Interpersonal Relationships Jealousy/envy Cognitive jealousy Emotional jealousy Behavioral jealousy Relationship violence Physical abuse Verbal or emotional Sexual Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Alternatives to Violence Fairness in conflict resolution Safe and open communication Mutual respect and affirmation Accountability Fair distribution of responsibilities Trust and respect in sexual relations Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Dealing With Violence If partner is violent: Realize that you’re not alone. Realize that you are not at fault Plan for your safety Know your resources If you are the violent partner: Realize that you too are not alone Know that you can change Own your own behaviors; take responsibility Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Knowledge to Action : How can understanding these stages improve your relationship development or dissolution? Copyright ©2012, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.