Mrs. Fikse’s Student Samples

 Schools should start later. In fact, journalist Justin O’Neil wrote an article on that topic. In this article, he wrote, “Teens need at least 8.5 hours of sleep at night. This means, that if a teen wakes up at 7 am then they need to go to bed at 10:30pm. This proves my claim because it says how that if schools start later there will be fewer tardies. This is why schools should start later Mrs. Fikse’s student sample #1 with errors

 Schools should start later. In fact, journalist Justin O’Neil (O’Neill) wrote an article, “Should Schools Start Later”, on that topic. In this article, he wrote, “Teens need at least 8.5 hours of sleep at night. ” This means, that if a teen wakes up at 7 am then they need to go to bed at 10:30pm. This proves my claim because it says how that if schools start later there will be fewer tardies. (No new information-here you explain why getting 8.5 hours is important and hard to do if schools start earlier). This is why schools should start later. Errors: -O’Neill is spelled wrong- Spell Author’s name correctly -No source provided -No end citation mark -No mention of tardies in the evidence/different topic -a.m., p.m. -NO personal pronouns (My, I, YOU, your, ) -Check punctuation! Mrs. Fikse’s student sample #1 with errors

 Schools should start later. In fact, journalist Justin O’Neill wrote an article on that topic. In this article, he wrote, Studies show that tired teens have an increased risk of depression, anxiety, obesity, and illness. This means that teens need to sleep in so they won’t risk becoming ill. That is why school should start later Mrs. Fikse’s student sample #2 with errors

 Schools should start later. In fact, journalist Justin O’Neill wrote an article on that topic. In the article, “ Should Schools Start Later?”, he wrote, “ Studies show that tired teens have an increased risk of depression, anxiety, obesity, and illness. “ (No indentation) This means that teens need to sleep in so they won’t risk becoming ill. (explain why it’s a problem here) That is why school should start later. Errors:  Formatting  Justification doesn’t explain the problem  Citation was not in quotation marks  No End Punctuation  No Source was included Mrs. Fikse’s student sample #2 with errors

Student Samples

 Schools should not start later. In fact, journalist Justin O’Neill wrote an article on that topic. In this article, he wrote, “starting school later means dismissing school later, which leaves fewer daylight hours for after-school activities like sports.” This means that if schools start at 9:30 and end at 4:30, there is only about 2 daylight hours left for after-school activities. School should not start later because student athletes bring in a lot of money for certain schools and ending school later doesn’t leave a lot of time for practices and games. Also sports are for some students the reason they come to school everyday. Take that away and they will not come. As proven, schools should start later. Student #1

 Schools should not start later. In fact, Journalist Justin O’Neill wrote an article on that topic. In this article, he wrote, “Later start times would mean some districts might have to invest in additional buses and drivers, Which can be expensive.” This means if start times were to start later some schools would have to find more buses and bus drivers which would be costly. Schools should not start later because not everyone can pay the expenses for each school. This is why schools should not start later. Student #2