ART OF LISTENING

LISTENING “Nature gave humans two ears but only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that they should listen more than they talk.” “Nature gave humans two ears but only one tongue, which is a gentle hint that they should listen more than they talk.” Robert Frost says: “Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and cant, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it”. Robert Frost says: “Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and cant, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it”.

LISTENING It is the ability to understand and respond effectively to oral communication. It is the ability to understand and respond effectively to oral communication. The basic principle of effective listening is that unless the listener pays attention, has concentration, and is seriously concerned with the subject, he cannot understand the message of the speech. The basic principle of effective listening is that unless the listener pays attention, has concentration, and is seriously concerned with the subject, he cannot understand the message of the speech.

Listening is a conscious, positive act requiring will power. Listening is a conscious, positive act requiring will power. Active listening is “to listen to a person without passing judgment on what is being said, and to mirror back what has been said to indicate that you understood what feelings the speaker was putting across.” Active listening is “to listen to a person without passing judgment on what is being said, and to mirror back what has been said to indicate that you understood what feelings the speaker was putting across.”

HEARING vs. LISTENING Hearing is picking up sound vibrations, whereas listening is making a sense or meaning out of what people hear. Hearing is picking up sound vibrations, whereas listening is making a sense or meaning out of what people hear. Hearing is a physical process, and listening a mental one. Hearing is a physical process, and listening a mental one. Hearing is passive, listening is active. Hearing is passive, listening is active. Hearing is with the mind, and listening is with ears. Hearing is with the mind, and listening is with ears.

NATURE AND IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING: Listening is an art, a fine art. A patient and attentive listening is a compliment to the speaker. Listening is an art, a fine art. A patient and attentive listening is a compliment to the speaker. is the kingpin in the entire communication process, to whom actually the message is meant to understand, interpret correctly and to act accordingly. is the kingpin in the entire communication process, to whom actually the message is meant to understand, interpret correctly and to act accordingly. Effective and true communication is greatly dependent on the receptive side. Effective and true communication is greatly dependent on the receptive side.

Clear listening is necessary when information is transmitted. Poor listening may lead to gaps, conflicts and resentment. Clear listening is necessary when information is transmitted. Poor listening may lead to gaps, conflicts and resentment. It requires patience, presence of mind, interest and attitude. It requires patience, presence of mind, interest and attitude. Listening is not a trait, but a skill, which can be taught, trained and improved. Listening is not a trait, but a skill, which can be taught, trained and improved.

Reasons for poor listening: Lack of clarity Lack of clarity Jargon Jargon Lack of unity Lack of unity Speed Speed Distractions Distractions

COMMON FAULTS OF LISTENING: Prejudice against the speaker Prejudice against the speaker Rehearsing Rehearsing Judging negatively Judging negatively Identifying Identifying Advising Advising Sparring or Rebuttal instinct Sparring or Rebuttal instinct Being right Being right

Derailing Derailing Placate Placate Dreaming or Wandering mind Dreaming or Wandering mind Thinking speed Thinking speed Premature evaluation Premature evaluation Semantic stereotypes Semantic stereotypes Delivery Delivery External distractions External distractions

BARRIERS IN LISTENING: Distractions of mind Distractions of mind Lack of motivation Lack of motivation Jumbled and mumbled words Jumbled and mumbled words Listening only for words Listening only for words Taking notes Taking notes False listening or Pseudo Listening False listening or Pseudo Listening Monologue attitude Monologue attitude

Selective listening Selective listening Listening defensively Listening defensively Deaf spots or emotional blocks Deaf spots or emotional blocks Closed mindedness Closed mindedness Lack of interest Lack of interest

BAD LISTENING HABITS: Calling the subject uninteresting Calling the subject uninteresting Tuning the speaker out because of his delivery Tuning the speaker out because of his delivery Getting over stimulated Getting over stimulated Faking attentiveness Faking attentiveness Allowing distractions to creep in Allowing distractions to creep in Tuning out difficult or technical presentations Tuning out difficult or technical presentations

BEHAVIOURAL REASONS: Listening attitudes in early life Listening attitudes in early life Influence of parental models Influence of parental models Powerless and submissive behavior Powerless and submissive behavior Defense mechanism Defense mechanism Practice of resistance Practice of resistance

ERRORS IMPEDING UNDERSTANDING: Length of message Length of message Middle of the message Middle of the message Round off Round off Hearing what one expects to hear Hearing what one expects to hear Filtered listening Filtered listening

WHO IS A GOOD LISTENER? Looks at the speaker while he is speaking Looks at the speaker while he is speaking Seeks clarifications by asking questions Seeks clarifications by asking questions Repeats some of the things Repeats some of the things Does not rush Does not rush Has poise and is emotionally controlled Has poise and is emotionally controlled Reacts with a nod, a frown or a smile Reacts with a nod, a frown or a smile Does not interrupt Does not interrupt Pays close attention Pays close attention

PRINCIPLES FOR GOOD LISTENING: Listen patiently Listen patiently Understanding speaker’s feeling Understanding speaker’s feeling Restatement and summary Restatement and summary Avoid expressing views Avoid expressing views Less explanation Less explanation Rapport Rapport

GUIDELINES FOR EFFECTIVE LISTENING: Eye contact Eye contact Bodily exhibitions Bodily exhibitions Avoid distracting actions or gestures Avoid distracting actions or gestures Ask questions Ask questions Paraphrase Paraphrase Avoid interpreting speaker Avoid interpreting speaker Do not overtake Do not overtake Put the speaker at ease Put the speaker at ease

Listen patiently Listen patiently Avoid premature arguments Avoid premature arguments Stay objective Stay objective Avoid mental rebuttals Avoid mental rebuttals Remove distractions Remove distractions Indicate acceptance Indicate acceptance Hold your temper Hold your temper Respect pauses or silence Respect pauses or silence

Be honest with answer Be honest with answer Listen between the lines Listen between the lines Have an open mind Have an open mind Listen to total meaning Listen to total meaning Observe non verbal cues Observe non verbal cues Avoid fake attention Avoid fake attention No personal bias No personal bias

TYPES OF LISTENING: Marginal listening- listener has capacity to listen four times faster than someone can talk. So they use the extra time available to think about other matters. Marginal listening- listener has capacity to listen four times faster than someone can talk. So they use the extra time available to think about other matters. Evaluative listening- while listening to a message, they spare time and think to judge and evaluate what is said by speaker, and sometimes forms rebuttals to it. Evaluative listening- while listening to a message, they spare time and think to judge and evaluate what is said by speaker, and sometimes forms rebuttals to it.

Projective listening- it is a process to observe and understand what is said and to assimilate the viewpoint of the speaker. Projective listening- it is a process to observe and understand what is said and to assimilate the viewpoint of the speaker. Active listening- also called emphatic listening. It consists of without passing judgment and to mirror back on what is being said. Active listening- also called emphatic listening. It consists of without passing judgment and to mirror back on what is being said. Passive listening Passive listening

Deliberate listening- when it is intended to comprehend the content of the message and to understand the feeling and context in which the communication is taking place. Deliberate listening- when it is intended to comprehend the content of the message and to understand the feeling and context in which the communication is taking place. Fake listening- fixing their eyes on the speaker and try to project themselves as good listeners. They usually miss important points. Fake listening- fixing their eyes on the speaker and try to project themselves as good listeners. They usually miss important points.

LISTENING PROCESS Awareness: it involves getting the attention of the audience so that they will listen. Listeners should: Awareness: it involves getting the attention of the audience so that they will listen. Listeners should: 1. Look for area of interest 2. Look for benefits, a need fulfillment or an objective 3. Look for new ideas 4. Note non verbal cues

Reception: it is physical hearing with attention that precedes listening. Sound waves receive the attention of the listener for interpretation and perception. Reception: it is physical hearing with attention that precedes listening. Sound waves receive the attention of the listener for interpretation and perception. To be receptive: 1. Concentrate on ideas 2. Non verbal cues 3. Avoid mind wandering 4. Adjusting listening pace

Perception: is the perceiving and understanding of the message. Depends upon factors like knowledge, age, emotion, experience, attitude, values, etc. Perception: is the perceiving and understanding of the message. Depends upon factors like knowledge, age, emotion, experience, attitude, values, etc. The act of perception depends upon interpretation – the process of attribution of meanings which requires logical reasoning and analysis of data.

TYPES OF LISTENERS: The Sleeper: The Sleeper: (a) has no intention of listening (b) Is irritated if there are disturbances (c) Eyes are closed as he sits, or reclines in his seat. (d) Seeks a restful haven in a relatively corner place.

Eager Beaver: Eager Beaver: (a) keeps smiling and nodding (b) Eyes have a strange, out of focus appearance (c) Energies are directed to impress the speaker with what a good listener he or she is.

The Tiger: The Tiger: (a) Is ready to pounce on everything what speaker says (b) Is occupied with looking for trouble (c) Has a crouching position, leaning forward and eyes flashing

The Shy, Bewildered: The Shy, Bewildered: (a) Has never quite found out what the lecture is all about (b) Pained, quizzical glances from him are a constant reminder to the speaker that he has to go slowly, repeating and reinforcing information.

The Frowner: The Frowner: (a) His forehead has a perpetual furrow (b) He seems to be always on the verge of a question (c) His expression is an accurate reflection of his state of mind

The Relaxed: The Relaxed: (a) Stares fixedly at some object or person (b) There is little tension in them (c) There are no visible means of reading them (d) Never seems to react to anything (e) Is a real problem for the speaker

The Busy bee: The Busy bee: (a) Listens and impresses by writing notes, talking to neighbors, combing hair, etc. (b) Not a listener in a true sense, but is a potential audience (c) Will motivate the speaker causing him to try various devices to capture their attention

Two eared listener: Two eared listener: (a) Listens with ears and mind (b) Actively participates (c) Reacts objectively (d) Decodes and evaluates carefully (e) Eagerness is reflected in body posture (f) Face reflects agreement, disagreement, interest, question, approval resulting from thoughtful, objective consideration of messages.