Sexual Behaviour in Children Kanak Yates NSPCC Treetops Gail Valentine Child Protection Schools Liaison Team

Aim Equip schools to understand sexual behaviour in children and respond appropriately. Ask delegates what they are hoping to gain from the session.

Adult Responses to Children’s Sexual Behaviour Acknowledge the emotions which adults experience in relation to children and sexual behaviour. How these emotions can get in the way of responding appropriately and safeguarding children.

Sexual Behaviour in Children Is part of normal development Takes place from infancy Is not always an indicator of sexual abuse Children have an inbuilt curiosity which supports their development. They have natural desire to learn about their bodies, their emotions and those of others. School staff need to be aware that much of the sexual behaviour that they see in children is normal.

Children’s – Sexual Development Sexual Behaviour Sexual Knowledge Exercise Children’s – Sexual Development Sexual Behaviour Sexual Knowledge In small groups ask delegates to complete blank tables for different age ranges e.g. 3 groups to complete table for age group 2 to 6 years, 3 groups to complete table for age group 6 to 12 years, 3 groups to complete table for age group adolescents. Feedback for each age group on flip charts. Delegates who didn’t look at that age group to make additional suggestions. Completed tables to be given out. Discussion.

Sexual Behaviour in Children Healthy Problematic Abusive Not all sexual behaviour in children is a cause for concern. However schools increasingly identifying behaviour which is concerning and with which they need more support and advice. Main areas of concern are identification, management of the behaviour in school, protection of other pupils and involvement with other agencies. In order to correctly identify what behaviours to be concerned about, need to understand whether what schools are seeing is healthy, problematic or abusive.

Healthy Sexual Behaviour in Children CONSIDER Similar age Voluntary Part of wider range of games/activities Coping at school Happy to be involved DO Talk to colleagues Consider if behaviour within normal range PSHE Deal with in a matter of fact way Record Talk to parents/carers DO NOT Blame Over question PRESCHOOL Random, sporadic behaviours, can be exhibitionist/disinhibited, copying behaviours 5 – 7 YEARS More inter-active, questioning stage, fascination with bodies and sexual behaviour, privacy and inhibition begins. 8 – 12 YEARS Beginning of puberty, physical and emotional sensations, more experimentation re sexual behaviours, relationships begin for some. ADOLESCENT Consent, equality, authority, explicit sexual discussion, sexual swear words, interest in erotic material, consenting sexual activity

Problematic Sexual Behaviour in Children CONSIDER Negative emotions re sexual play/activity Over-exposed to adult sexual material Sexualised behaviour Knowledge of adult sexual behaviours Relate to others in a sexual way Number of concerning behaviours Family/social difficulties DO Refer to CSF social care Record Talk to parents/carers Use school Behaviour Policy Maintain appropriate supervision Provide clear boundaries Identify positive adult role model Build confidence and self esteem RAMP DO NOT Blame Over question Sexual behaviour out of balance with other aspects of child’s life. Sexual preoccupation/anxiety. Behaviours often arise because overwhelmed by sexual information or experiences. Can be compulsive and therefore unlikely to involve planning, force, coercion, manipulation or secrecy. Behaviours can be directed at self or others. May target other needy, vulnerable children. Child unlikely to want to hurt/upset others. Often feel guilty, ashamed etc. Can associate sexual behaviour with affection/attention. Hardcore pornography. Exposure, compulsive masturbation, sexually explicit conversations with younger, more vulnerable children, sexual touching without permission.

Abusive Sexual Behaviour in Children CONSIDER Impulsive, compulsive, persistent, aggressive behaviours Sexual behaviour beyond developmental expectations Involved with younger/vulnerable children Force/coercion DO Same actions as problematic behaviour plus: Allow safe mechanisms for expression of aggressive feelings e.g. sport, drama etc DO NOT Blame Over question Can display full range of adult sexual behaviours. Use of force, threats, bribes, coercion, manipulation. Sexual contact with animals. Targeting of younger, vulnerable children, seek relationship where they feel more powerful. Lack empathy, frequent feelings of anger, fear, victimization, isolation. Other behaviour problems, significant social deficits. Have own experiences of abuse (all 4 categories). Domestic violence in the home likely.

Exercise Healthy? Problematic? Abusive? Rate scenarios.

Warning Signs Sexual behaviours engaged in by children of different ages/developmental needs Too much knowledge about sexuality/behaviour more consistent with adult sexual expression Sexual behaviours which continue in spite of consistent and clear requests to stop Sexual behaviours eliciting complaints from other children/adversely affecting other children Children who sexualise non-sexual things, interactions with others or relationships Picking up on warning signs such as these will assist schools in making the correct response to problematic/abusive sexual behaviours in children.

Warning Signs Sexual behaviours progressing in frequency, intensity, and/or intrusiveness Children (four years and older) who do not understand their rights or the rights of others in relation to sexual contact Verbal and/or physical expressions of anger precede, follow or accompany the sexual behaviour Children who use distorted logic to justify sexual actions e.g. “she didn’t say no” Coercion, force, bribery, manipulation or threats associated with sexual behaviours

School Role in Managing Sexual Behaviour Schools/nurseries are important partners in inter-agency working for following reasons: Pick up signs/indicators and are main referrers to CSF Are part of the child/young person’s network and therefore are part of reinforcing positive and negative messages about sexual behaviour Can provide on-going support for child/young person Can provide protection for other child/young people An inter-agency response to problematic/abusive sexual behaviour is what is required. Schools are not alone in dealing with/managing the behaviours. Should be part of a wider professional network supporting the child to make sense of its feelings, experiences and learn to manage the behaviours.