2 Interpersonal InterpersonalLISTENING

Fast Facts About Listening We listen at wpm, think at wpm 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful 20% of the time, we remember what we hear More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

The Erratic Driver Story: Doug Fielding, a prominent NY State Legislator was picked up on the County Road #10 for erratic driving last week. A concerned citizen spotted the dangerous driver first and notified a patrol car in the area. They picked up his trail and followed him for two or three miles to gather evidence of his driving techniques. While they were following him, he speeded up to 85 mph, dropped back down to 40 mph, passed the driver ahead of him, cutting into the passing lane too close in front of oncoming traffic, pulled back into his former lane, cutting off the driver he had just passed. He also went off the road two times on each shoulder. When the hazardous driver was pulled over to the side of the road and stopped, he refused to take the Field Alcohol Indicator test, claiming legislative immunity. “Besides,” he said, “I’m not drunk. I’m just preoccupied thinking about a seminar I’m helping run today at Finger Lakes Community College.

Listening: “the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages.” p. 175

Functions of Interpersonal Communication 1. Meet our social needs 2. Maintain our sense of self 3. Fulfill social obligations 4. Exchange information 5. Influence others 6. Get and improve our jobs 6

7 Listening is Fundamental in Communication “Listening creates Reality.” Enacts, develops, and maintains a variety of social & personal relationships. Most of our time is spent Listening.

8 Listening Listening makes up 42-60% of our communication. Writing Speaking Reading

Percentage of Communication Training Mode of Communication Formal Years of Training Percentage of Time Used Writing12 years9% Reading6-8 years16 % Speaking1-2 years30% Listening0-few hours45%

Hearing A physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums 10

Listening vs. Hearing Hearing- physical process; natural; passive Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Listening involves: Attending Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding A – U – R – E – R 12

Define --- Attending?

Attending Get physically and mentally ready to listen. Make the shift from speaker to listener a complete one. Hear a person out before you react. Adjust to the listening goals of the situation. 14

Attending Listening Types Appreciative - goal is enjoyment Discriminative - understanding the message Comprehensive – learn, remember & recall Critical-Evaluative – judge & evaluate 15

Understanding – Accurately decoding the message you share with the speaker. Determine the organization Attend to nonverbal cues Ask questions Silently paraphrase 16

Paraphrase the following statements to reflect both the thoughts and feelings of the person speaking. 1. “I really like communication, but what could I do with a major in this field?” 2. “I don’t know if Pat and I are getting too serious too fast.” 3. “You can borrow my car, if you really need to, but please be careful with it. I can’t afford any repairs and if you have an accident, I won’t be able to drive to D.C. this week-end.” 17

Remembering Remembering Repeat information Create mnemonics Take notes 18

Mnemonics 19 A technique used to aid memory – take the first letter of a list you are trying to remember and create a word HOMES (the five Great Lakes) Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior A – U – R – E – R

Note Taking 20 Take notes when you are listening to complex information. Key-word outline  Main points  Supporting evidence

Evaluating (Critical Listening) Fact – a verifiable statement Inference – a conclusion drawn from facts 21

You are Listening Critically When you question whether the inference is supported with meaningful factual statements When you question whether the reasoning statement that shows the relationship between the support and the inference makes sense When you question whether there is any other known information that lessens the quality of the inference 22

Responding - communicating attention and interest ◦ Let others know you are interested. ◦ Give vocal responses. ◦ Show that you care about the other person and what he or she says. 23

Guidelines for Listening Be fully focused on what is happening. Adapt listening skills and style to accommodate differences in listening purposes and individuals. Remember that listening is an active process and you must invest energy and effort. 24

We can think much faster than another person can talk. What can we do with all that extra thought time if remembering is important? 25