Why? Because knowledge is power!

We believe:

1.Parents use real situations to resolve problems without violence. 2.Parents provide clear strategies to address conflict respectfully and with strong language. 3.Parents ask open ended questions to have an understanding of their students day at school. 4.Parents take bullying seriously and an opportunity for a teachable moment for both the target and the victim. 5.Parents do NOT bully their children. Children that experience ridiculing, hitting or gossiping are more likely to do this to others. 6.Parents openly and regularly communicate about the child as a team.

What is bullying, officially? Aggressive, intentional behavior Repeated behavior that makes someone else uncomfortable Imbalance of power in relationship

DIRECT bullying isINDIRECT bullying is Physical Obvious Pushing & shoving Name calling In your face aggressive Excluding others Gossip Rumors Bossing Eye-rolling Manipulation controlling

The three players… The target The bully The bystander The person who puts another down verbally, physically or by exclusion. The person being put down or left out. The person(s) who witness the mean behavior.

Of children in sixth through tenth grade, more than 3.2 million—nearly one in six—are victims of bullying each year, (Fox, et al, 2003) 22 % report academic difficulties from the abuse That would be about 4-5 students in each class We have approximately 130 students in our core. That affects around 28 students per day. With 1000 students at the school, this affects approximately 200 students per day. National Association of School Psychologists report:

Rehearsing for adulthood: What kind of adults do we want our children to become? By age 30, 25% of those students identified as bullies have a criminal record as opposed to 5% who hadn ’ t been bullies. (Bullies & Victims by Su Ellen and Paula Fried, NY 1994)

25% of students report that teachers intervene in bullying situations 71% of teachers believe they always intervene ( Think teachers help?

What to do if your child is the target… 1.You can encourage your child to try ignoring but that does not always work. 2.You can encourage your child to talk to a friend and ask him/her to stick up for you. (There’s power in numbers) 3.You can encourage your child to tell a trusted classmate, teacher, staff member. Share your thoughts. 4.OR……

What to do if your child is the target… You can review the following strategies with your child and practice them using several responses:

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Use the one-word technique  “Wow”  “Whatever”  “Right”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Say it like it is  “I don’t like it when...”  “That comment hurts when…”  “I can’t stand it when…”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Let them have their point of view  “That’s your opinion.”  “That’s what you think.”  “That’s how you see it.”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Question what he/she said  “What do you mean by that?”  “Why would you say that?”  “What was that for?”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Act surprised  “I can’t believe you just said that.”  “Did that comment just come out of your mouth?”  “Wow, that surprises me.”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Simply disagree  “I don’t think so.”  “That’s not my opinion.”  “I don’t see it that way.”

Words that work WAYS TO RESPOND EXAMPLE RESPONSES  Use humor  “Really? Thanks. That was just what I was trying for.”  “Yea, that makes me laugh.”  Laugh at the comment.

Now that we’ve listed real strategies of how to respond to bullies, practice with your child. Parent: You say the words in the conversation bubble on the following slide Child: You respond one of the ways we just reviewed.

What’s with the shirt? Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

There’s no room for you here at this lunch table. Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

Hey, nerd. Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

What’s wrong with you? Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

What are you looking at? Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

I can’t believe you’re friends with her. Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

You are so _____. Just kidding! Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor

Get out of my way. Practice these situations:  Use the one-word technique  Say it like it is  Let him/her have his/her point of view  Question what she said  Act surprised  Simply disagree  Use humor