Foundations of Healthy Relationships Health Education

And why are you waiting?” Bell Ringer Jan. 29th “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?”   ~Stephen Levine

Personal Health Inventory Self-Inventory: Read each statement below and respond by writing yes, no or sometimes for each item. Write a yes only for items that you practice regularly. Save these responses. I treat others with respect. I am a team player. I am a trustworthy individual. I often use compromise to resolve differences. I am willing to work at my relationships. I communicate well with others. I am a good listener. I ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said. I use eye contact when communicating with others. I am aware of my own body language.

Think Quick ! List 10 characteristics that you think are needed for a healthy relationship Rank the characteristics in order of importance, and explain why you ranked each as you did.

Healthy Relationships A bond or connection you have with other people Relationships allow us to meet our needs to be: LOVED SAFE SECURE VALUED RECOGNIZED

Healthy Relationships All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your health Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all areas of your health. Healthy Relationships are based on: What? Shared values Shared interests Mutual respect

Healthy Relationships Family Relationships Immediate Family Extended Family How do healthy family relationships enhance all sides of your health Triangle? Teach values, manners and socialize you. Food, Clothing, Shelter Give you love, care and encouragement

Healthy Relationships Friendship Relationships Significant relationship between 2 people that is based on caring, trust and consideration Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by: Sharing similar values (M/E and Social) Share hobbies and interests (Physical, Social, M/E) Sharing friends (Social and M/E) Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept (M/E) Helping to resist negative influences (Physical, M/E, Social)

Healthy Relationships Friend or Acquaintance? Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship Not as much caring, trust or consideration Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in time of need. As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that true? Questions to Consider Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why? What causes you to call someone a friend or acquaintance? Create 2 lists: Benefits of spending time alone & with friends For questions to consider: Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why? - Does you top 10 charactereistics apply to these people. Do these people share same interests and concerns?

Healthy Relationships Community Relationships Citizenship The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community Work together to promote the safety and well-being of the entire community Community Watch Donation Drives Volunteer Programs Obey laws Food Bank Golden Rule

Healthy Relationship Characteristics in Action Work in groups of 2 or 3 Compare your lists that you created earlier Choose the top 2 characteristics that you can all agree on Prepare a skit that demonstrates those characteristics to promote a healthy relationship Prepare a 2nd skit that demonstrates what happens to the healthy relationship when those characteristics are not present

Bell Ringer Jan. 30th Explain how healthy family relationships improve a persons 1. physical 2.social 3.mental/emotional health Bell Ringer February 2nd Define Citizenship. What are 3 examples of ways that you can get involved with your community? Why would this positively impact your personal health? Bell Ringer February 4th Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies. Describe the 4 techniques for Active Listening.

Building Healthy Relationships & Communication

The 4 C’s to Building Healthy Relationships For a relationship to succeed and be healthy, the people involved need certain skills. 4 C’s Communication Cooperation Compromise Character C C C C

Communication Communication The way you send and receive messages from others What are some ways we communicate? Effective communication is a 2 way street There are 3 basic skills necessary for effective communication 1. Speaking 2. Listening Body Language http://www.ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence#t-32892 Cooperation Working with others to accomplish a goal

Nonviolent Communication NVC: A way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart. We humans need to be reminded that we were always meant to RELATE to one another. Speaking and listening in a way that connects us to ourselves and each other that allows our natural compassion to flourish. NVC replaces habitual patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgement and criticism.

Communication that Blocks Compassion: Moralistic Judgements: implying wrongness or badness on the part of people who do not harmonize with our values. Analyzing others are actually expressions of our own needs and values. Judging others promotes violence. Making Comparisons: Comparisons are a form of judgement, and can start to make people feel miserable. Denial of Responsibility: We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel. Question to consider: How Do You Feel About Reality TV Shows??? “ People don’t watch these shows to engage with them in a genuine way, They watch so they can look down on people. I call it “ Masterpiece Stupidity.”

Communication Styles 3 Communication Styles Passive (“Mrs. Go Along”) Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions Do not stand up for their beliefs Aggressive (“Mr. Pushy”) Always try to get their way Use bullying and intimidation Assertive (“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”) Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others However, they respect the thoughts of others

Compromise Compromise Giving up something so that all can reach a satisfying solution WIN-WIN SITUATION Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen relationships All must be satisfied with the solution Do not give up your values or beliefs to compromise on a situation

Character in Relationships There are 6 major character traits present in all HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Trustworthiness Respect Responsibility Fairness Caring Citizenship Can you identify these Character Traits?

How to Resolve Conflicts Conflict: Condition that exists any time 2 people disagree. Conflict Resolution: Process of ending a conflict through cooperation and problem solving. Steps for Conflict Resolution: 1. Get calm and think before you speak 2. Remember, tone of voice is essential! Speak in a calm voice 3. Ask questions to gather all the facts 4. Utilize Active Listening Technique! 5. Focus on the problem, not the person 6. Empathy Avoid: Name calling Clashing Egos Blaming or threating comments- Use “I” Messages Defensive body language LETS RECONCILE OUR DIFFERENCES!!!!!

“I” vs. “You” messages I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming someone for it. This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit that they were wrong. Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"

“I” vs. “You” messages “I” statements “YOU” statements Non Threatening Neutral Opinion Initiates defensive response “Attacking” Can be difficult Automatic reaction

“I” Message vs. “You” Message Aggressive (“You”) Message What not to say “You idiot! You took my client and cost me money. You owe me big time.” “Why are you always late? It’s really annoying.” Assertive (“I”) Message What to say “I’m upset that my client was taken away from me.” “I worry about you when you don’t show up.”

How to construct and “I” sentence I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling) when you _____________________________ (describe the action) because _______________________________ (say why the action connects to your feeling)

Warm-Up Feb. 4th Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies. List the 4 C’s for building healthy relationships. What is conflict resolution? What is the most important thing to remember when you are dealing with a conflict?

Listening Skills Hearing is not listening!!! Active Listening Listening while involving yourself in the conversation The average listener retains and understands about 30% of what he/ she hears Paying careful attention without judging or interrupting 80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.

Techniques for Active Listening Restating Restate or summarize what the other person said Clarifying Ask questions to show your attention Encouragement Provide statement/gestures to encourage more conversation “I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod Empathy Try to understand their feelings Put yourself in their shoes

Body Language Skills Body Language = Non-Verbal Communication The message you send to others based on the way your body looks. Eye contact Posture Gestures Behaviors As much as 65% of face - face communication is non - verbal

Technological Advances Cell Phones E-mail Text Messaging Internet Chat rooms

Questions to Debate Has the advancement of technology improved or hurt the communication skills of today’s youth? Is e-mail an effective method of handling relationship issues? How about texting? Should teens be permitted to use online chat rooms or blogs?

Bell Ringer Feb. 5th Describe 3 ways that technology has helped the communication skills of todays youth and 3 ways it has hurt the communication skills of todays youth.

Alright, So how do I start/maintain a conversation with a person I like? Say “Hello” and introduce yourself Learn about the persons interests/ Find Commonalities Talk about things you both can discuss Surrounding, School, Likes/Dislikes, Hypothetical Listen to the other persons responses Make “Eye Contact” but do not stare Use previously taught skills

Conversation Starters Focus on other person, not self Stay positive Avoid controversy (religion, politics, ect..) Examples: You look really nice, where did you get….(item) Have you seen any movie lately, what did you think? What kind of music/TV/activities do you like? What do you normally do for fun? Have you ever (activity) ….? Do you like sports (other topic)? Have you ever been to (Place)?

Constructive Feedback No one is perfect! Sometimes, people do things that you do not appreciate. Ex. Make you late for a movie Ex. Name calling or blaming. Constructive Feedback- non-hostile comments that points out problem and encourages improvement TIPS: “I” Messages, Tone, Body Language

Feedback Sandwich When giving Constructive Feedback, use this method to help communication with others. Step 1 (+)- Give compliment Step 2- Inform person of the problem in a non-threatening way Step 3 (+) - Offer steps for improvement

Character Essay Directions: Think about a relationship situation where you had the opportunity to demonstrate good character traits. Pick your top 3 character traits (Examples: respect, trust, honesty, loyalty, reliability) Each paragraph will demonstrate a different character trait. Write 3 paragraphs (5-6 sentences per paragraph) describing the situation and how you responded. What would have happened to your relationship if you had done something different (opposite)?