BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE : Power Issues at Home, Work, and School Part I: Theory Stuart W. Twemlow, MD Professor of Psychiatry Baylor School of Medicine Houston, Texas

Bullies Are Everywhere “Power Does Not Corrupt People, People Corrupt Power” Andre Gide

Bullies Are Everywhere Bullies Will Only Do What Bystanders Allow………

Bullies Are Everywhere Why Care About Bullies Bullying, Shame, and Humiliation Lead to Violence Bullying Reduces Achievement Creates Reactive Groups Rather Than Work Groups Reduces the Quality of Life in Communities, by Creating Special Interest Groups

Bullies Are Everywhere The Circle of Power

Bullies Are Everywhere Power Dynamics Theory Power Dynamics Drive Individual and Group Behavior Power Dynamics are often an Unconscious Trialectical Relationship  Bully-Victimizer  Victim  Bystander  Power’s Coerciveness Ranges from Everyday Insensitivities to Mass Murder

Bullies Are Everywhere Social Context or Crucible Power is Enacted Socially within Contexts Bystanders Are Causal Ingredients in Problem Not Passive Observers Power Conflicts Are Always Shifting Coercion Evolves from Frozen Dynamics Leader Can Be a Bully-Victim-Bystander Climates Form Within Social Contexts A Dysfunctional Social Context Impacts the Individual

Bullies Are Everywhere Bully Role: Victimizer Sadomasochistic Enjoyment of the Pain of Others Lacks Empathy Enjoys Dominant Status in Social Context Uses Humiliation to Improve Social Status

Bullies Are Everywhere Bully Typology Sadistic: Psychopathic  Cold, Popular, Manipulates Others (Enron) Depressed: Bully’s Sidekick (homophilly)  Unkempt, Socially Insecure, Attaches to Sadistic Bully to Gain Status Bully - Victim: Bullies by Being a Victim  Class Clown, Attracts Negative Attention, Gains Power by Being a Victim

Bullies Are Everywhere VICTIM ROLE Submissive Masochistic Driven to Please Rescue Driven

Bullies Are Everywhere BYSTANDER ROLE The Audience for Public Humiliation Can Identify with Both Victim and Victimizer Humiliation is the Critical Ingredient Can Be an Individual or Group

Bullies Are Everywhere BYSTANDER TYPOLOGY Bully Bystander  Excited by Actions of the Bully  Cheers On or Laughs at Bully’s Shaming Victim Bystander  Sheepishly Looks On as Bully Humiliates  Offers Comfort only AFTERWARDS to Victim Abdicating Bystander  Usually a System, Leader, or Governing Body  Takes No Action to Stop Bully  Blames Others for the Problem

Bullies Are Everywhere Redefining Bullying DYADIC Victim-victimizer primary focus Individual’s role as bully or victim is seen as fixed Audience is passive observer Purely external/social definition Bully-Victim are behavioral roles Focus is on behavioral change Intervention targets individuals TRIADIC Social context of bully-victim- bystander (focus on bystander) Bully-Victim-Bystander roles co- created and in flux (always changing) Audience has an active role in violence Stress the role of unconscious power dynamics & processes Bully-Victim-Bystanders have complex combinations of roles & unconscious affiliations Focus is on Mentalizing Intervention aimed at CLIMATE

Bullies Are Everywhere Some Bystanding Roles VICTIMVICTIMIZER Active rolesPassive roles DESTRUCTIVE BYSTANDING HELPFUL BYSTANDING Bully Bystander Puppet master Sham bystander Victim bystander Avoidant bystander Abdicating bystander Peaceful Outcome Violent Outcome Self Awareness Reflective Mindsets Accurate Reading of Others Impulsivity Concrete thinking Misread Danger signals