Bullying How To Recognize & Prevent it From Happening To Your Child Before It Is Too Late Target audience: Parents of bullies

What is Bullying?  Definition:  Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker or who they think is weaker  Bullying is often thought of as a direct attack such as hitting, name calling, taunting, and teasing, but it also includes indirect attacks such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.  What is indirect bullying often called?

Bullying Facts  Approximately one of three students report they have experienced bullying either as a perpetrator or a victim  Being picked on about speech and appearance were the most common topics associated with bullying  70% – 80% of bullies and victims are in the same school classroom  Bullying reportedly decreases from fall of 6 th grade to spring of 8 th grade  Potential reasons?  Which gender is more likely to be a bully, male or female?  What about victims?

Forms of Bullying Physical/Verbal Bullying  Punching shoving, and other acts that physically cause harm  Spreading rumors about another person  Keeping certain people out of a group  Teasing in a hurtful way  Getting certain peers to gang up on other peers  Being belittled about looks or speech Electronic/Cyber Bullying  Sending mean text messages, s, or instant messages  Posting inappropriate pictures or messages about others in blogs or on websites  Using someone else’s user name to spread rumors or lies about someone *

The effects of physical/verbal bullying  Victims  Increased loneliness  Difficulty developing friendships  Bullies and victims  Higher risk of experiencing depression  Suicidal ideation  Suicide attempts  More health problems  Lower academic achievement

Activity: How can you prevent your child from being a bully?

What you can do as a parent of the bully?  Monitor your child’s behavior with friends at home and in the community  Keep in touch with school staff and ask about your child’s behavior at school  Model appropriate behaviors for your children  Talk to other parents at school about your children  Have a direct conversation about bullying and let your child know the harmful effects of bullying

Activity: What can you do as a parent of a victim?

What can you do as the parent of the Victim?  Spend time with your child and ask them about their school day and if they were bullied  Tell your child they can be open and honest with you  Pay attention to signs of loneliness or depression  Monitor your child’s school attendance and achievement  Seek help for your child if they are being bullied (ex. Counseling)  Ask your school about school based intervention programs  Ex. Dan Olweus

Dan Olweus’s Intervention Program  Goal of the program is to decrease bullying  Program focuses on children between 6 and 15 years of age  School staff are taught ways to make children feel safer and increase positive peer interaction  When done correctly, bullying decreases by 30%-70% 

How does cyber-bullying affect your child? The Bully  Cyber bullies have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and school absences compared to children who are not involved with bullying The Victim  Students have indicated that cyber-bullying makes them feel sad and unwilling to attend school  Cyber bully victims have the highest rates of anxiety, depression, and school absences compared to children that have not been involved in cyber bullying

How YOU can help stop cyberbullying  Explain to your child that bullying is harmful and an unacceptable behavior. Outline your expectations for them this includes appropriate behavior and responsible online use. Make it clear there will be consequences for inappropriate behavior.  Make an agreement with your children to keep all internet capable devices out of their bedrooms (age appropriate)  Talk regularly with your child about online activities that he or she is involved in  Install a parent control filtering software/monitoring programs on your computer but DO NOT rely solely on these programs  Talk about bullying with your child and encourage them to tell you immediately if they are the victim of any type of bullying  If it is cyber bullying explain to them that you will not take their technology if they confide in you about the problems they are having *

Summary  Bullying can be harmful to children. Bullying can decrease your child’s health and hurt their academic performance  Children are likely involved in some sort of bullying whether they are the victim or the perpetrator  Bullying can occur directly in forms such as physical or verbal aggression or it can be indirect through spreading rumors and excluding others  Stop bullying before it is too late  Talk to your children  Talk to your school and community

Additional resources  Santrock, J. W. (2011) Life-span development (13 th ed.). New York, NY: Mc-Graw Hill Companies, Inc.    