FAMILY, MARRIAGE AND SINGLENESS IN THE 21 ST CENTURY UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES Dennis Franck - Coach/Consultant/Speaker Franck Insights Springfield, MO

THE FACE OF THE FAMILY HAS CHANGED! Nuclear Family

Single - Parent Family Step/Blended - Parent Family

THE CHURCH MUST REACH NEW TYPES OF “FAMILIES” & HOUSEHOLDS 1.SINGLE – PERSON FAMILY 2.SINGLE – PARENT FAMILY 3.STEP - PARENT FAMILY 4.BLENDED – PARENT FAMILY 5.NUCLEAR – PARENT FAMILY 6.EXPANDED FAMILY 7.GRANDPARENT FAMILY 8.KINSHIP FAMILY 9.UNMARRIED PARENT FAMAILY 10.HOMOSEXUAL PARENT FAMILY 11.HOMOSEXUAL/HETEROSEXUAL FAMILY 12.NON - FAMILY 13.COMBINATIONS OF ANY OF THESE

U.S. Step & Blended Families 40% married couples with children are step-couples 24 million households 41 % of weddings in America form stepfamilies. --National Center for Family & Marriage Research 2010 Births to married parents - 50% experience parents’ divorce by age18 --American Blended Family Association One - third who divorced in 2008 were re- divorcing -National Center for Family & Marriage Research % of stepfamily marriages divorce within 6 years --“Family” Barna Research -- American Blended Family Association 1300 U.S. blended families formed daily 81% blended families -“they don't know where to turn for help” --American Blended Family Association -

Never married64.5 M 27.5% Divorced25.0 M 10.6% Widowed14.3 M 6.0% M 44.1% Separated 5.5 M 2.4% Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, 2012 Social & Economic Supplement 44 % U.S. ADULTS NOT MARRIED (AGE 18+)

Growth of Single Person Households % of all households % of all households % of all households % of all households America's Families and Living Arrangements: Release/www/releases/archives/familieshouseholds/ html

Median Age at First Marriage MenWomen census bureau demographics

COHABITATION - U. S.  2011 – 7.8 million unmarried-partner households ( million) America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2012  Over half of all marriages are preceded by cohabitation  Half of yr. olds have cohabitated  21 % of all unmarried-partner households include children – Step Family Association of America

Divorce/ Divorce/Remarriage 43 percent of first marriages divorce 1 60 percent of remarriages with children divorce 1 65 percent of remarriages with children from a prior marriage divorce 1 65 percent of simple stepfamilies (1 partner with a child) divorce 2 70 percent of complex stepfamilies (both partners have children) divorce 2 1 January 9, 2006, Newsweek, “The ‘Familymoon’” 2 In her book For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, Dr. Hetherington specifies the divorce rate for step-couples to be “50 percent higher in remarriages with stepchildren” Specifically, then, the divorce rate is 65-70%. (p. 178).

UNMARRIED HOUSEHOLDS… MARRIED HOUSEHOLDS…  Married households 2010 All marriages - 1 st, 2 nd, 3 rd etc percent  Unmarried households 49. percent  14 million single women  5 million single men  15 million single parent  million single, “non family”- friends of same/opposite sex U.S. CENSUS BUREAU American Community SurveyCENSUS BUREAU

COMMON NEEDS/INTERESTS MARRIED & UNMARRIED ADULTS (any church adult class addresses these)  SALVATION  BAPTISM  DISCIPLESHIP  OBEDIENCE  PRAYER LIFE  COMMITMENT  BIBLE TEACHING  SPIRITUAL GROWTH

UNIQUE NEEDS OF YOUNG & SINGLE ADULTS WHERE IN THE CHURCH ARE THESE ADDRESSED?  Rearing kids alone  Shared parenting  Relating to my former spouse  Sexuality and singleness  Money management  Peer Friendships  Learning to forgive my ex  Accepting Singleness  Dating/dating again  Divorce Recovery  Living with mom/dad  Understanding emotions  Grief recovery  Dealing with changes  Learning to trust again  Loneliness  Humility  Building an identity  Singleness in a marriage & family-oriented church  Career choice  Pre-Marital education  Re-Marital education  Blending families  Relating to married adults  Adjusting to Widowhood

THREE SINGLE ADULTS WHO CHANGED THE WORLD! OUR FAITH IS BASED UPON:  A Jewish single adult from Galilee  Whose ministry was preceded by a single adult named John the Baptist  And whose mission thrust was modeled by a single adult named Paul