Public Speaking, Negotiation, Etiquette Tatevik Khachatryan AUNA Head of Youth Division

Public Speaking

What is public speaking? Why do we need it? What are the goals? How to talk? Examples of good orators

ANALYSIS OF THE AUDIENCE PHYSICAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DEMOGRAPHIC SITUATIONAL

Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? Analysis of the speech 5 W Questions Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

Tips for a good speech Get well-prepared, be familiar with the topic Preparation, preparation and preparation Imagine yourself speaking Do not apologize when making mistakes Avoid slang and informal language Diplomatic alphabet Practice a lot…

Body language, gestures, Pay attention to words, Formulate the questions properly, Speak CONCISELY, Ensure the dialogue, Confidence, excitement, commitment Eye contact Humor (limited)

Speak, DO NOT read

Listening as a part of speaking Listen to understand Listen to be listened to Listening improves speaking 70% listening, 30% speaking

Let the butterflies fly…. Share your practice of overcoming your fears

Overcoming the fears Be focused Practice a lot and listen to the others practicing Be well-prepared Take only the positive ideas to the stage Your fears are not visible to the audience Humor helps

Pay attention to the beginning (HOOK) Prior to the speech Take a breath Relax the muscles Pay attention to the beginning (HOOK)

Negotiation

7 Element Principle Interests, not positions Options (the more, the better) BATNA Legitimacy Commitments for the future Communication Relationship

Negotiation Modes Principled Negotiator Competing Accommodating Avoiding Collaborating Compromising Principled Negotiator

“Negotiation is the communication designed to reach agreement when you and the other side have some interests that are shared and others that are opposed.” Hard vs Soft vs Principled Negotiation Distributive (pie fixed, win-lose) vs. Integrative Negotiation

Don’t Bargain Over Positions Problem of haggling (Customer vs. Shopkeeper) Unwise Digging deeper into positions – impossible to change Interest of saving face Ground for compromise Inefficient Extreme opening positions, small concessions – drags on Endangers relationship Contest of rigid will Being nice not the answer Soft-soft – sloppy agreement (O’Henry) Soft-hard – you lose your shirt

The Alternative Negotiation: on substance vs on process (a game about a game) Your moves decide the flow of the game Four points: People: Separate the people from the problem. Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do. Criteria: Insist that the result be based on some objective standard.

Focus on Interests, not Positions Reconcile interests, not positions (collaboration vs compromise) Interests define positions Several positions can satisfy the same interest Agreements often possible because of difference in interests Ask why and why not – be clear that you’re not asking for justifications Negotiators have multiple interests Substance and relationship Affecting and effecting Constituencies Show you appreciate their interests, present your interests, build common ground – present problem before conclusion Be hard on the people, soft of on the problem

Invent Options for Mutual Gain Orange; Arm Wrestling Diagnosis: Premature judgment; Searching for the single answer; Assumption of fixed pie; Thinking that “Solving their problem is their problem” Prescription: Separate inventing from deciding; Broaden your options; Look for mutual gain; Make their decision easy

Dealing With People Problems Perception Conflict lies in people’s heads Self-selective perceptions – reinforcing what you think Put yourself in their shoes – discuss perspectives openly Get them involved: process is product Consider face-saving Emotion Understand their emotions, make yours explicit Allow the other side to let off steam Communication Show you understand, then be understood Don’t persuade third parties; two judges over case (not adversarial); two shipwrecked sailors

Insist on Using Objective Criteria Deciding on the basis of will is costly Objective criteria, independent of each side’s will Criteria should apply reciprocally Developing objective criteria Fair standards Fair procedures Joint search Reason and be open to reason Never yield to pressure, only principle

BATNA Bottom line vs. BATNA BATNA is an alternative course of action Too rigid; More than one variable; Too high BATNA is an alternative course of action The reason you negotiate to produce something better than the results you can obtain without negotiating. Have a trip wire The better your BATNA, the greater your power Pot seller vs. wealth tourist

Developing Your BATNA Three steps: Disclosing your BATNA List of actions if no agreement Improving promising ones, converting into alternatives Selecting best option Disclosing your BATNA Consider their BATNA Lower overestimations Change their BATNA

Dirty Tactics: Deliberate Deception Recognize tactic; voice it; question legitimacy Deliberate Deception Phony facts Ambiguous authority Dubious intentions Refusal to negotiate Extreme demands Escalating demands Lock-in tactics Hardheaded partner A calculated delay Take it or leave it

Negotiation Jujitsu Don’t attack position; look behind it What are the interests? What principles underlie it? Don’t defend your ideas; invite criticism and advice Examine negative judgments Turn situation around Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem Ask questions and pause Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers. Use silence

Practice…

Thank You Tatevik Khachatryan AUNA Head of Youth Division