ACTUAL EXAMPLES FROM YOUR ACTUAL BACKPACK STORIES THAT YOU ACTUALLY TURNED IN FOR ME TO GRADE Let’s take a look at your work…

BOOM! Your lead bombed It was a normal Wednesday at NFHS. Then all of a sudden…BOOM! They had a case on their hands. Senior Meghan Hurley was on the floor quicker than gunfire. She had tripped over fellow senior classmate Andrea Kopitz’ backpack entering first hour.

A simpler version of the same idea Class began with a bang after the first hour bell rang on Wednesday when senior Meghan Hurley tripped over her classmate’s book bag.

A nutgraf that does NOT do its job: Hurley tripped over kopitz’s backpack; this is the fifth incident in the year. So now the school board has proposed a new rule that will be voted on Monday at 7p.m. there is no telling if it may go threw or not, it will be effective immediately if the proposal goes threw.

A nutgraf that does exactly what it should: This is the fifth case this year of a student tripping on someone’s oversized backpack in a classroom, and it is one of the many reasons principal Joe Greene is supporting a policy to ban backpacks in the classroom. Staff members at NFHS are not only worried about the safety of the students and teachers but about the effects of such heavy bags on students’ backs.

Good lead – Good nutgraf As senior Meghan Hurley was making her way over to her seat Wednesday morning, dodging between the cramped desks and busy students, she overlooked the hefty backpack lying on the floor in front of her. Before Hurley could react, she tripped over the backpack and hit the ground. With five backpack-related incidents like Hurley’s in this school year alone, the NFHS school board has decided to take action and vote on putting a ban on backpacks in the classroom.

Sentences that aren’t sentences: Backpacks banned! Due to students’ safety. Five students have injured themselves this year by tripping over backpacks. After it being the fifth incident this year that a student has tripped over a bookbag. Just depends on which side of the fence you’re on.

Facts that aren’t facts: Everyone at NFHS brings their backpacks to class. There have been five injuries this year because of oversized bags. The administration is facing conflict, and they have a decision to make: should backpacks be banned from classrooms? NFHS is having a meeting Monday at 7 p.m.

A paragraph that should never exist: Maybe students and teachers just need to be more careful while walking. But seeing that this is not the first time that this has happened then it might be time for some changes. But we should be glad that Hurley are beloved volleyball player was not hurt. That is not to say that the next person to trip will not be harmed it could be Ms. Dodge or more importantly myself to have fallen and cannot get up.

Get rid of first and second person pronouns You’re not able to bring your backpack to your classroom at school. You have to carry all of your materials to class. You will have to see what happens at the school board meeting.