Building Confidence

What is Confidence? Confidence: a feeling of belief in oneself and one’s ability to control a specific situation. Or Feeling you have when you believe that you are capable of handling a situation successfully.

Are you born with Confidence? No, but it can be developed over time. How do you get it? – By understanding exactly what it means to have confidence. Ongoing preparation and practice. – Think about professional and Olympic athletes.

How does this apply to communication? Building a house… – What is the first step? Foundation – Ethics of communication; posture, eye contact, & gestures 1.Working to be a good person 2.Communicating constructively 3.Caring about your audience

Next step… – Build the shell of the house by bolting the outside framework to the foundation. (Skeletal framework) Provides stability – Confidence is the internal skeletal framework. Gives stability to the speaker and makes his/her message believable. So why can’t everyone speak with confidence?

Communication Apprehension Means that we are afraid to speak, generally in public situations. – Surveys indicate that 80-90% of Americans admit feeling extremely uncomfortable about any form of public speaking. So what is fear? – Biological process by which animals, including humans, secure the necessary energy to do a job really matters – one that might potentially result in physical and/or psychological injury.

Fight or Flight Syndrome In every situation where there is fear we have a choice of dealing with it or running from it.

What are the symptoms? Forgetting the words. – Motel 6 example Upset stomach Flushed face Dizziness Shortness of breath Excessive sweating Wobbly legs

Why do we get these symptoms? 1.Our bodies are being flooded with energy. a)They’re preparing for what they perceive to be an emergency situation. 2.Most of us don’t like to be evaluated or judged. b)Dislike the thought of opening up to an audience or of having others examine us or our thoughts too closely.

Socrates Before we move the world, we first have to move ourselves.

Establishing an accurate perception What is perception? – How you see things. To gain awareness and understanding of a person, an idea, or a situation. What harm can be done if we have an inaccurate perception of something?

Back to our house example Main support beam – Runs from one side of the room to another and works to make the internal structure stable. Establishing an accurate, realistic perception is the “main support beam” in building speaking confidence. It is this internal mind-set that allows you to say with a confident attitude, “I see things as they are, not as my fears might lead me to see them.”

Your Perception of the Audience Think they audience can see you sweat or your legs shake. Researchers have found that most report noticing little or no anxiety in a speaker. Your audience will ignore or forgive any type of mistake or awkwardness if audience members feel that you are genuinely interested in them and that you are genuinely trying to share with them.

Your Perception of the Speech You should see speaking as an opportunity to share something you consider valuable – your message – with your audience. It is an extension of you!

Your Perception of Yourself It is sometimes difficult for people to accept who they are. But easy for us to perceive ourselves as not being pretty enough, handsome enough, or intelligent enough. If you lack confidence in yourself, doesn’t it stand to reason that you will also lack confidence in your spoken words?

You should strive for excellence, and not perfection. Mistakes don’t equal failure!! Failure should be seen as an opportunity for innovation instead of immediate defeat. When you face your fears, your frustrations, and even your failures – and still come out standing on your own two feet – then confidence is being nurtured!

Examining the Planks of Confidence Back to our house…. – Individual pieces of wood – 2x4 planks Using the word Confidence we will “nail down” some of the major ingredients of confidence.

Content Organization Notes Friendliness Impression Dedication Empathy Newness Conviction Enthusiasm

Content Have something worthwhile to say. Audiences respect a person who shares a message that contains facts and pertinent evidence. Remember, don’t base your speaking on assertions or emotional appeals only. – Spend time building an evidence file

Organization Have some type of an outline that is easy for both you and your audience to follow. Every speech needs organization – Main idea or point – Clear areas of analysis – Supporting evidence that fits. – Introduction leads to the thesis statement and conclusion that summarizes the areas of analysis an provides some ending emotional appeal.

Notes Jot down your ideas in a brief, directed (preferably outlined) form. Note cards can be a good “security net” – Problems with using note cards Having too many words on a single note card Having too many note cards. Notes are NOT a substitute for preparation!!!

Impression Getting off to a good start is essential in building confidence. – Study showed that 55% of what others think of you is determined before you ever open your mouth. – So you should telegraph to your audience the feeling, “I’m really glad to be here today,” before you begin to speak. How do you do this?

Also refers to how you are groomed. Never allow your clothing, hair, makeup, or jewelry to get in the way of your message. Build confidence by setting a good example and offering a solid first impression.

Dedication Practice, Practice, Practice!!! Confidence does not come about as a result of going over the material mentally in the corner of your room while listening to music. You must get used to the sound of your own voice and speak as often as you can. – Practice looking at people, gestures, and moving around.

Empathy Know how it feels to feel that way. A sincere understanding of the feelings, thoughts, and motives of others. Keep speaking and working for common ground.

Newness Apply some originality. We often feel confident if we have something new and original to say. Tell a personal story. – Can also help establish the necessary common ground!

Conviction Believe in what you say. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed they must be defended against the heaviest odds.” » Know what your principles are, and have courage to stand up and voice those principles.

Enthusiasm Get fired up! No one wants to listen to an unemotional, mannequin, standing lifelessly at the front of the room. You need to inspire your audience by showing them you are fired up in two ways that work hand and hand: 1.Intellectually 2.Physically Also a good outlet for nervous energy.

Abraham Lincoln was once asked how he would cut down a tree if he were given eight hours to complete the job. He responded that by saying that he would sharpen the blade on his axe for seven hours – so that he could easily cut down the tree in one hour. In other words…