The Fear of Disappointing Others unmet expectations = disappointment.

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Presentation transcript:

The Fear of Disappointing Others unmet expectations = disappointment

How does it make you feel when you fail to live up to the expectations of others?

What if you have failed to meet people’s expectations, and as a result… they are unhappy with you they are unhappy with you they are dissatisfied with you they are dissatisfied with you they are angry with you they are angry with you they are frustrated with you they are frustrated with you they are irritated with you they are irritated with you they have a low opinion of you they have a low opinion of you they show no mercy in their response to you they show no mercy in their response to you they have no sympathy or forgiveness they have no sympathy or forgiveness they punish you they punish you they dismiss you they dismiss you

How would it make you feel? they are unhappy with you they are unhappy with you they are dissatisfied with you they are dissatisfied with you they are angry with you they are angry with you they are frustrated with you they are frustrated with you they are irritated with you they are irritated with you they have a low opinion of you they have a low opinion of you they show no mercy in their response to you they show no mercy in their response to you they have no sympathy or forgiveness they have no sympathy or forgiveness they punish you they punish you they dismiss you they dismiss you couldn’t care less it’d bother me, but I’d be fine I’d be horrified

How would it make you feel? couldn’t care less 5-7 it’d bother me, but I’d be fine 8-10 I’d be horrified F rustrated I nsecure N eurotic E motional

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others? The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. - Proverbs 29:25 (ESV) Face Your Fear Face Your Fear Steer Clear of the Snare Steer Clear of the Snare Trust The LORD Trust The LORD Be Safe in His Care Be Safe in His Care

Face Your Fear Fear = trembling, quaking, panic caused by emotional distress & anxiety Fear = trembling, quaking, panic caused by emotional distress & anxiety Man = mankind, people Man = mankind, people The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25 Summary – The “fear of man” depicts the moment at which a person’s panic or distress about what another person might say or do becomes influential, controlling, or paralyzing.

Face Your Fear – “The fear of man” 1.You say “yes” even when you want to say “no.” 2.You’re very insecure about your abilities, knowledge, and your performance. 3.You feel exhausted from always trying to be “perfect,” or even good enough. 4.You hold back from saying what you really think & feel - even when it would be appropriate, and important to speak up. 5.You’re more concerned about being nice & avoiding conflict than being real. How does the fear of disappointing others show up in your life?

Face Your Fear – “The fear of man” Summary – The “fear of man” depicts the moment at which a person’s panic or distress about what another person might say or do becomes influential, controlling, or paralyzing. Face Your Fear – Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others? Face Your Fear Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Steer Clear of the Snare Steer Clear of the Snare

Steer Clear of the Snare Lays = literally, “gives.” Lays = literally, “gives.” Snare = trap. Snare = trap. The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25 Summary – The fear of people is a trap that steals your freedom & brings destructive consequences into your life.

Steer Clear of the Snare – “lays a snare” 1.You say “yes” even when you want to say “no.” 2.You’re very insecure about your abilities, knowledge, and your performance. 3.You feel exhausted from always trying to be “perfect,” or even good enough. 4.You hold back from saying what you really think & feel - even when it would be appropriate, and important to speak up. 5.You’re more concerned about being nice & avoiding conflict than being real. How does the fear of disappointing others lay a snare?

Steer Clear of the Snare Summary – The fear of people is a trap that steals your freedom & brings destructive consequences into your life. Steer Clear of the Snare – Do not fall into this freedom-stealing destructive trap.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others? Face Your Fear Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Steer Clear of the Snare Steer Clear of the Snare Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Trust the LORD Trust the LORD

Trust the LORD Trust = rely upon with full confidence Trust = rely upon with full confidence LORD = Yahweh LORD = Yahweh The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25 Summary – Avoid the trap by putting your full confidence in Yahweh

The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe

The Snare of Fear Works-based Mindset Works-based Mindset Others’ approval of my performance Others’ approval of my performance Self-Focused Self-Focused Criticism, Condemnation, my value is diminished Criticism, Condemnation, my value is diminished FEAR FEAR The Safety of Trust Grace-based Mindset Grace-based Mindset God’s Grace & my identity in Christ God’s Grace & my identity in Christ Others-Focused Others-Focused Mercy & Grace, my value does not change Mercy & Grace, my value does not change TRUST TRUSTMindset Sense of Value & Security Desire to Please Result of Failure My Response v s.

The Snare of Fear vs. The Safety of Trust FEAR Frustrated Frustrated Emotional Emotional Angry Angry Resentful Resentful TRUST At Rest At Rest Unchained Unchained Unleashed Unleashed Secure Secure

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others? Face Your Fear Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Steer Clear of the Snare Steer Clear of the Snare Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Trust the LORD Trust the LORD Put your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God. Put your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God. Be Safe in His Care Be Safe in His Care

Be Safe in His Care Safe = being set “on high”- i.e., a safe & secure place The Fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe – Prov. 29:25 Summary – To be safe in God’s care is to find your sense of well-being and security in Him.

What should you do about your fear of disappointing others? Face Your Fear Face Your Fear Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Recognize how your behavior is being influenced by panic & distress over what another person might say or do. Steer Clear of the Snare Steer Clear of the Snare Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Do not fall into this freedom-stealing, destructive trap. Trust the LORD Trust the LORD Put your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God. Put your full confidence in our all-sufficient trustworthy God. Be Safe in His Care Be Safe in His Care find your sense of well-being and security in Him. find your sense of well-being and security in Him.