Ole Taggaard Nielsen ACBS World Conference 2011

The ACT approach holds that clinicians must be willing to apply ACT in our own lives in order to deliver the therapy effectively

What are we doing too little of ? There seems to be a large disconnect between the healthy and compassionate way we treat our patients and the manner in which we treat ourselves Self-care: The feeling for many clinicians is that if I take time out for my self this leisure period is not ”time well spent” Self-compassion: being compassionate are gifts we give to others so being self- compassionate are sometimes seen as selfish or even signs of weakness

What suffering might look like Loss of vitality Fatigue and depletion Burnout Feeling overwhelmed Cynicism Workaholism Isolation Narrowed lifes Boredom Confrontation/conflict Arrogance Helplessness

Experiential avoidance ”This period will pass. It will get better soon” ”I’m an experienced clinician who knows how to keep stress in the private life out of my work” ”None of my clients have complained to me” Avoid certain problems and “difficult” patients Refer patients to someone or somewhere else When applying the therapy: Avoid going into difficult material Change subject, talk about easy topics Make jokes Worry Do less experiential work and more “talk”

Values: what do patients experience when they are with us ? --a respectful place where they can share their burdens, worries, anxiety, anger, questions and wonder ? --or do they feel our sense of exhaustion, our need to be right or in control, our need to be seen as wise and clever or to achieve ?

Lack of self-care - What are the costs? We run a risk of depletion, loosing perspective and burn out if we do not focus om activities that truly renew us ”Any idiot can face a crisis- it’s this day-to- day living that wears you out” Anton Chekhov (Russian short-story writer)

Getting into selfcare Identify avoidance and show up to the ongoing challenges and stressors Commit to selfcare moves  Focus is on activities that increases flexibility  No one model exits: there are many different ways to practice self-care  Differences may relate to personal history, gender and stage of life etc.

Some examples of Self-care moves Quiet walks by yourself Little meditative periods (waiting for something, a cancellation of a session, a brief illness) are opportunities for a quiet, reflective, peaceful time Time and space for meditation Reading – spiritual, fiction, biographies Some light exercise Opportunities to laugh in the company of cheerful friends A hobby Listening to music you enjoy

The issue Are we able to sit with ourselves in the same way that we wish to be with our clients who turn to us for help ?

Compassion from Latin: "co-suffering" “Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed”. - The Buddha

Self-compassion (1) Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others To have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering Compassion involves feeling moved by others' suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (to “suffer with”). When this occurs you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way Having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them Finally, when you feel compassion for another (and not as seen in pity) it means that you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience

Self-compassion (2) Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I care for myself in this moment? Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans

Contact info: Ole Taggaard Nielsen