Showing v. Telling Sentences

Telling = A general fact, which often isn’t particularly engaging, memorable, or interesting on its own. Showing = Specific details that distinguish, make the description more specific, unique, and interesting. Showing develops an idea and often uses sensory images (sight, smell, hear, taste, touch)

Each of these sentences has two versions Each of these sentences has two versions. One version is too general and therefore lacks the visual clarity that a reader needs to fully understand what the writer is talking about. The other version of the same sentence uses specific details and makes the image the writer is presenting much more vivid and alive.

Vague: She went home in a bad mood. [What kind of a bad mood Vague: She went home in a bad mood. [What kind of a bad mood? How did she act or look?] Specific: She stomped home, hands jammed in her pockets, angrily kicking rocks, dogs, small children, and anything else that crossed her path.

Vague: My neighbor bought a really nice old desk. [Why nice. How old Vague: My neighbor bought a really nice old desk. [Why nice? How old? What kind of desk?] Specific: My neighbor bought a solid oak, roll-top desk made in 1885 that contains a secret drawer triggered by a hidden spring.

Vague: He was an attractive man Vague: He was an attractive man. [Attractive in what ways - his appearance, personality, or both? Can you picture him from reading this sentence?] Specific: He had Brad Pitt's eyes, Justin Timberlake's smile, and Bill Gates's money.

Rewrite the vague sentences below using your own specific details. My boyfriend/girlfriend acted like a jerk. She wears really strange outfits. The scenery in the mountains was beautiful. My roommate is very (in)considerate.

Homework Rewrite these sentences to create 10 showing sentences. The math test was killer. My mother bugs me. Those girls are snobs. School is boring. The pizza tasted good. A students life is hard. The puppy was a terror. The streets were crowded. The game was a close one. The substitute teacher was strange.