1 DEFINE “BULLYING” Negative behavior that is repeated and is intentional by someone who thinks he/she has more power (older, bigger, smarter, better than…)

2 TYPES OF BULLYING Exclusion Put downs Intimidation Unwanted physical contact

3 TEASING VS BULLYING TEASING: Likeable, playful, pat on back, sign you are liked/accepted, POSITIVE BULLYING: Assault, power trip, destroying, intimidating, cowardly, attack, NEGATIVE

4 HOW ARE BULLIES DIFFERENT? 60-70%never involved w/bullying Starts at early age Hurts him/herself Become Antisocial Adults They think others are hostile They may be desperate

5 HOW TARGETS ARE DIFFERENT? More sensitive, cautious, quieter More anxious or nervous Avoid confrontation; cry when attacked May not do well in gym or front of class Submission when picked on Smaller, overweight, skinny, old clothes

6 Bully vs.Target Bullying hurts Social isolation most damaging to bully and to target Leads to loneliness Leads to disliking school Leads to depression

7 PROBLEM Too many students are being bullied!

8 CAUSES OF PROBLEM Because bully can get away with it! Bully may want to feel superior Bully may want the attention Bully may want payback Bully may have been bullied Bully may want to feel accepted Bully is not liked

9 PEOPLE INVOLVED Bully Target ByStander GOALS To have ByStanders Become UpStanders To have Targets prepared

10 SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEM Train ByStanders to be UpStanders Train Targets This is what we will do today!

11 How ByStanders Can Help S-A-F-E S - STOP bully, if you can (#1 concern is SAFETY for everyone A - Get ADULT quickly F - FACE UP to the bully E - EMPOWER target by siding with and helping where possible

12 Why ByStanders Don’t Help “It’s none of my business.” Fear of getting hurt or becoming victim Feel powerless to stop bully Doesn’t like the target Believes target deserves it Don’t want to draw attention to self Fear revenge Afraid to tell adults Don’t know what to do TV: What would you do?

13 ByStander May Experience Pressure to participate in the bullying Fear of speaking to anyone about it Powerless to stop bullying Fear of being victimized also Fear of helping target or associating with Guilt for not helping

14 POTENTIAL TARGETS Know your buttons: hair color size: small, overweight, skinny cries easily, looks scared shy, quiet racial/ethnic difference wrong crowd, wrong clothes, etc.

15 WHEN BUTTON PUSHED Ignore bully Try to diffuse with humor Speak up to defend yourself If possible, leave area immediately Remember: you give control if you whimper or cry. Doing nothing means that you win and they lose because you stayed in control!

16 PLAN FOR NEXT TIME It is most important to be SAFE!! Winning is NOT who is best at put downs Winning is taking care of your own emotions

17 BE ASSERTIVE SHAKE HANDS 1. Passive 2. Weak 3. Assertive 4. Pushy 5. Aggressive

18 BULLY MAGNET Head down Shoulders slumped Face scared Eyes down Voice weak

19 MORE ASSERTIVENESS Look directly at bully Shoulders back Head up Speak with strength

20 BULLY-PROOFING G-I-F-T GET AWAY IGNORE if possible STAND UP for yourself TELL adult

21 REMEMBER S-A-F-E G-I-F-T