always be kind to each other always be kind to each other the power and responsibility of the bystanders to take action if and when they observe unkind behavior the power and responsibility of the bystanders to take action if and when they observe unkind behavior

 Bullying is highest in eleven and twelve year old age groups  18% of students reported being bullied  38% of special education students reported being bullied  88% of students are bystanders who are aware of what is happening  71% of teachers reported intervening almost always but only 23% of students reported that teachers intervened

What are the bystanders doing?  Followers/Henchmen – take an active part but do not start the bullying  Supporters/Passive Bullies – support the bullying but do not take an active part  Passive Supporters – like the bullying but do not display open support  Disengaged Onlookers – think and act as if it is none of their business  Possible Defenders – dislike the bullying and think they ought to help but don’t do it  Defenders – dislike the bullying and try to help

 What is the role of courage in changing attitudes and the bystanders’ behavior toward bullying?  How would you explain to students the difference between tattling and telling?

◦ Tattling  If it will just get another child in trouble, don’t tell ◦ Telling  If it could get you or another child out of trouble, tell

 How did the Fox School District make anti-bullying a priority? What were the steps they took? Would this approach be effective in our school? Why or why not?  “There’s not a person in a school that’s not involved in bullying. You’re either the bully, the bullied, or the bystander. We’re all responsible.” Respond to this quotation.

 Do you believe “social improvisation” or “social theatre” can be a positive step toward changing attitudes and bystanders’ behaviors toward bullying? Explain.  Respond to the following: “Bystanders have the power to stop bullying. Bystanders have the responsibility to act.”

Before Saying Something Ask Yourself: ◦ Is it true?  If it isn’t – don’t say it. ◦ Is it necessary to say?  If it isn’t – don’t say it. ◦ Is it kind?  If it isn’t – don’t say it.

 Teasing: ◦ Teaser and Teasee can swap roles with ease ◦ Is meant to get both parties to laugh ◦ Pokes fun in a light-hearted, clever, benign way ◦ Is discontinued if teasee objects or gets upset  Taunting: ◦ Is one-sided ◦ Is meant to harm ◦ Involves humiliating, cruel, demeaning or bigoted comments disguised as jokes ◦ Continues especially when target gets upset or objects

 Flirting: ◦ Flirter and Flirtee can swap roles with ease ◦ Is meant to be flattering and make the other person feel wanted or attractive ◦ Is an invitation to have fun and enjoy each other’s company ◦ Is discontinued if flirtee objects, gets upset, or is not interested  Verbal Sexual Bullying: ◦ Is one-sided ◦ Is meant to harm ◦ Is degrading, controlling, or inappropriate ◦ Continues especially when target gets upset, objects, or is not interested

 Use constructive discipline to guide bully to ◦ Restitution – fix what he/she did ◦ Resolution – figure out how to prevent recurrence ◦ Reconciliation – figure out how to heal the harm  Nurture Empathy ◦ Ask bully, “How did you feel before you did ‘x’?” ◦ Ask bully, “How do you think ‘x’ felt when you did ‘x’?”

 Teach Friendship Skills ◦ You control only 50% of the relationship. ◦ Your behavior influences the relationship. ◦ “No” is an acceptable complete response.  Teach Integrity ◦ Do what is right even when the burden is heavy  Emphasis on always being kind to each other  Emphasis on the power and responsibility of all bystanders.

 Student Skits  Celebration of recognition of others  Kindness contracts