# 4 : Counsellors’ Qualities & Skills CHCCSL501A Work within a structured counselling framework # 4 : Counsellors’ Qualities & Skills

Lesson Outline What attracted you to counselling? Characteristics you need to develop to become an effective counsellor Counsellors’ personal challenges

What attracted you to counselling ? Becoming a Counsellor What attracted you to counselling ?

What attracts people to the field of counselling? Counselling is a profession that attracts people who have developed an understanding of themselves, who practise a high level of empathy and have the basic desire to help others. http://www.thecounsellorsguide.co.uk/counselling-do-you-have-what-takes.html

What attracts people to the field of counselling? As counselling is one of the caring professions, warmth and social skills are critical for building relationships with people from all walks of life. Ivey, A.E. & Ivey, M.B. (2010) Self reflection activity: To become a counsellor, we need to become aware of our strengths as helpers/ Write down the following: When have you helped someone? Be specific What did you do that helped that person? What strengths do you have that will enable you to become good at counselling & interviewing skills?

Personal characteristics of effective Counsellors Empathy em·pa·thy [em-puh-thee] noun the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another http://thesaurus.com/browse People often confuse the words empathy & sympathy: Empathy refers to the ability to understand and share the feelings of another; caring without taking on the issue personally Sympathy refers to feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/empathy?q=empathy

Personal characteristics of effective Counsellors Congruence con·gru·ence [kong-groo-uh ns] noun the quality or state of agreeing or corresponding http://thesaurus.com/browse Agreement or harmony, compatibility http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/empathy?q=empathy

Personal characteristics of effective Counsellors Unconditional Positive Regard Unconditional positive regard is an important part of the non-directive, client-centered therapy created by humanist psychologist Carl Rogers. It involves showing complete support and acceptance of a person no matter what they say or do. This is an attitude of grace, an attitude that values us even knowing our ailings. It is a profound relief to drop our pretenses, confess our worst feelings, and discover we are still accepted. As with a good marriage, a close family or an intimate friendship, we are free to be spontaneous without fearing the loss of another's esteem http://thesaurus.com/browse Youtube video: CARL ROGERS AND GLORIA COUNSELLING PT 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m30jsZx_Ngs As you watch, observe Roger’s skills using the Person Centred Therapy Observation Handout

Personal characteristics of effective Counsellors Concreteness con·crete [kon-kreet, kong] adjective, noun, verb Pertaining to or concerned with realities or actual instances rather than abstractions; particular (opposed to general): concrete ideas. http://thesaurus.com/browse Concreteness is an aspect of communication that means being specific, definite, and vivid rather than vague or general. Concrete communication uses specific facts and figures. Concreteness contributes to effective communication. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concreteness

Personal characteristics of effective Counsellors Some other personal traits of the counsellor have been found to be very important. The Association of Counsellor Education and Supervision (USA) indicated that the Counsellor should have six basic qualities: belief in each individual commitment to individual human values alertness to the world open mindedness understanding of self professional commitment George, R. L. & Cristiani, T. S. (1995) Youtube video: Qualities needed to be a Psychotherapist or Counsellor! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8UN4i7u7Ec

Personal values in Counselling Among the most significant values a counsellor can possess to drive them to be a skilled helper are: Respect The all encompassing driver of the counselling relationship Morals A conviction to act ethically to follow the golden rule to do no harm Egan, G. (2010)

Overall skills required in Counselling Empathy Rapport Active listening Respectful responding Well timed challenging Attention to the counselling relationship Contracting appropriate to context Be non-judgemental Manage own values so they do not impede effective work Self care to manage the stress of the work Professional development

Overall skills required in Counselling Ability to work within the counselling framework eg. Implement the model of counselling and intervention Ability to apply policies, principles & procedures to secure and maintain confidentiality including note-taking, record and log keeping and identity protection Youtube videos & Role Play Handout: Counselling Skills Lecture 3 Rapport http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRGWhR9L5-Q 2. CARL ROGERS AND GLORIA COUNSELLING - PT 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX_Y3zUPzEo

Counsellors’ personal challenges The nature of counselling is often challenging especially when therapists are just beginning. Dealing with counsellors own anxieties Corey, G. (2009) Anxiety shows insight into our own abilities and limitations as counsellor Willingness to deal with anxieties (and not to deny them) is important Open discussion of self doubts with supervisor/peers can create meaningful exchanges

Counsellors’ personal challenges Being ourselves and disclosing our experience Aim to create genuineness by being oneself Avoid going to the two possible extremes: Hiding behind a façade where you are anonymous to the client Revealing too much either about your impression of the client too soon, or about your own life * Especially important for new counsellors Too fixed a counsellor role reduces rapport creation Become aware of our motivations/needs in disclosing, don’t burden clients inappropriately Assess client readiness to hear disclosures Observe client’s reaction to what you say carefully * Decide WHAT to reveal, WHEN and HOW

Counsellors’ personal challenges Productive self disclosure involves immediacy ‘The skill of immediacy involves revealing what we are thinking or feeling in the here and now with the client, but be careful to avoid pronouncing judgments on the client’ Corey, G. (2009) Sharing of counsellor’s own persistent reactions improves relationship with client, assists client self awareness

Counsellors’ personal challenges Avoiding perfectionism You will make some mistakes! Discuss: Our individual reactions to making mistakes Difference between intellectual knowledge of not being perfectionistic and emotional acceptance/lack of acceptance of this Encourage students to reveal self doubts and what they perceive as errors to allow growth to happen

Counsellors’ personal challenges Being honest about our limitations Discuss delicate balance between: learning realisitic limitations & challenging one’s perceived ‘limits’

Counsellors’ personal challenges Understanding silence Silent moments during a therapeutic session may seem like silent hours to a beginning therapist Silence can have many meanings Elicit possible reasons for Silence: eg: Client waiting for therapist to lead or vice versa Distracted or preoccupied Communicating without words Client evaluating what he feels/thinks May indicate hesitation to enter deeper level of communication Refreshing versus overwhelming silence

Counsellors’ personal challenges Dealing with demands from clients One way of heading off these demands is to make your expectations and boundaries clear during the initial counselling sessions or in the disclosure statement Corey, G. 2009 Don’t burden yourself with idea of giving unselfishly to unrealistic client demands How demands may manifest: Requests for - more frequent/longer sessions - demonstration of caring -to see you socially -tell them what to do or solve their problem

Counsellors’ personal challenges Dealing with clients who lack commitment Counsellors who omit preparation and do not address clients’ thoughts and feelings about coming to counseling are likely to encounter resistance Corey, G. 2009 Especially relevant to involuntary clients Don’t promise what you can’t deliver

Counsellors’ personal challenges Tolerating ambiguity Anxiety for counsellor of not seeing results (quickly enough), not knowing if client improving, etc Be aware: clients may ‘get worse; before improving

Counsellors’ personal challenges Avoiding losing ourselves in our clients If beginning counsellor unaware of own personal dynamics –may be overwhelmed Be fully present in each session but “let go” Countertransference

Counsellors’ personal challenges Developing a sense of humour Remember: laughter doesn’t mean work isn’t being done Learn to distinguish between humor that distracts and humor which enhances

Counsellors’ personal challenges Sharing responsibility with the client Find an optimum balance between: a) Mistakenly taking full responsibility for the outcomes of therapy and b) Not taking enough responsibility for accurately assessing clients’ needs and designing appropriate treatments Beware of clients: seeking ‘magic answers’ -wanting you to direct their lives -

Counsellors’ personal challenges “Perhaps the best measure of our effectiveness as counsellors is the degree to which clients are able to say to us, “I appreciate what you have been to me, and because of your faith in me, and what you have taught me, I am confident I can go it alone.” Corey, G 2009, p 32

Counsellors’ personal challenges Declining to give advice ‘Our task is to help clients make independent choices and accept the consequences of their choices.’ Corey, G 2009, p32 Don’t: - confuse counselling with dispensing information -foster client’s dependence on us -

Counsellors’ personal challenges Defining your role as a counsellor Your role may alter depending on: The population you work with Actual therapeutic services you or your workplace provides The particular stage of counselling Role involves helping clients: Recognize own strengths Find what prevents them from using own resources Clarify kind of life they want to live Look honestly at their behaviour

Counsellors’ personal challenges Learning to use techniques appropriately How to use techniques well: Know the theoretical rationale for each technique Be sure technique you use matches therapy goals -techniques should evolve from the therapeutic relationship Avoid: -hit or miss use of techniques to try to overcome impasses in therapy process

Counsellors’ personal challenges Developing your own counselling style ‘Be aware of the tendency to copy the style of a supervisor, therapist or some other model. There is no one way to conduct therapy, & wide variations in approach can be effective.’ Corey, G 2009, p 33 Why? Imitation limits your potential effectiveness in reaching others

Counsellors’ personal challenges Staying vital as a person and as a professional ‘Ultimately, your single most important instrument is the person you are, and your most powerful technique is your ability to model aliveness and realness.’ Corey, G. 2009, p33. Discuss: How to avoid burnout: -Self-care is not a luxury but an ethical mandate Develop self-monitoring: become attuned to subtle initial signs of burnout / in tune with oneself Deal with factors that drain us -Make periodic adjustments in own life - ‘Wellness perspective’ - Consider your physical, psychological, emotional, social, spiritual, intellectual needs

References Abuse findings questioned , online video, accessed 5 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4hJzhXvKUs American Counseling Association (1997) http://www.ccacc.ca/_documents/NotebookEthicsce%20for%20Counsellors.pdf Australian Government, Australian Institute of Family Studies (2010) Mandatory Reporting http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/pubs/sheets/rs3/rs3.html#top Site last updated: 3rd Jan 2012 Carl Rogers & Gloria Counselling part 2, online video. Accessed 3 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m30jsZx_Ngs Carl Rogers & Gloria counselling, Part 3, online video, accessed 4 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX_Y3zUPzEo Carl Rogers on Conditioning.wmv, online video, accessed 6 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qngwdy1DnDY Corey, G. (2009) Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy 8th ed. Brooks/Cole Cengage Learning, California Corey, G., Corey, M.S. & Callanan, P. (2011) Issues and Ethics in the Helping Professions, 8th ed. Brooks/Cole Cengage Learning, California Counselling Modalities - Martin Hunter-Jones & Lyndall Briggs Pt 3/5 'Conversations With Robyn’, online video, accessed 5 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYvfb5KsyRU Still to update

References Counselling Skills: a Five Minute Training Course from Richard Barton, online video, accessed 4 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9RuMujWhXY&feature=fvwrel Counselling Skills Lecture 3 Rapport, online video, accessed 6 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRGWhR9L5-Q Egan, G. ( 2010) The Skilled Helper 9th ed. Brooks/Cole, California George, R. L. & Cristiani, T. S. (1995) Counselling Theory and Practice Allyn and Bacon, Boston How To Understand Psychodynamic Theory, online video, accessed 4 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUdazWZTZp8&feature=related Ivey, A.E., Ivey, M.B. & Zalaquett,C.P. (2010) Intentional Interviewing and Counselling, Facilitating Client Development in a Multicultural Society 7th ed. Brooks Cole, California Pelling N., Bowers R. & Armstrong, P (2007)The Practice of Counselling. Thomson Qualities needed to be a Psychotherapist or Counsellor! , online video, accessed 8 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8UN4i7u7Ec

References Sheehy, A. (2004-2012) What Is Counselling http://www.andrea-sheehy.com/whatiscounselling.htm Site last updated: 1st Jan 2012 Summary of Freud's Psychoanalytic Theory , online video, accessed 3 June, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFNU-RHTMO0 The Counselling Process, online video, accessed 5 june, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qOCCvreTaI&list=UUSnEXvOOpzPkB01mvlUl-2g&index=8&feature=plcp The Little Albert Experiment, online video, accessed 5 June, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hBfnXACsOI&feature=related What is Counselling? Brisbane Counsellor at Integrating Awareness Counselling in Brisbane explains, online video, accessed June 4, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYeofRNEDjg What is Modernism/Postmodernism? , online video, accessed 3 June, 2012 .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ehh1b6kNWA&feature=related