Caring for Aging Parents “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3) Week 1 | Introduction | March 8, 2015

Our Approach Each class will have a panel of men and women who have experience with relevant topics; however, the most insightful comments and questions will come from those of you who have or are experiencing this special stage of life. We encourage you to invite your friends to join us. We will inform, we will encourage, and in some cases we will heal broken spirits Caring for Aging Parents 2 Partic ipatio n

Our Purpose Caring for Aging parents is not for the uninformed nor the faint of heart. The goal of this class is to inform and encourage all who have, are, or will be caring for aging parents. Of equal importance, this class is for all who are or will be aging parents…while we all hope to age gracefully, many find that aging is a very humbling experience. As family, physical or spiritual, we have a responsibility to care for one another, this is especially true for sons, daughters, and parents. Our guiding passage: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3) Caring for Aging Parents 3 Info rm Enco urag e Heal

Our Goals  Preparation  Perspective  Support and encouragement  Comfort  Healing Caring for Aging Parents 4

Our Faith  Those who would steal from their father and chase away their mother are disgusting, shameful people. (Proverbs 19:26, ERV)  Listen to your father. Without him, you would never have been born. Respect your mother, even when she is old…. The father of a good person is very happy. A wise child brings him joy. Make both of your parents happy. Give your mother that same joy. (Proverbs 23:22-25, ERV) Caring for Aging Parents 5

Our Faith  God said, ‘You must respect your father and mother.’ And God also said, ‘Whoever says anything bad to their father or mother must be killed.’ (Matt. 15:4, ERV)  Jesus saw his mother. He also saw the follower he loved very much standing there. He said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son.” Then he said to the follower, “Here is your mother.” So after that, this follower took Jesus’ mother to live in his home. (John 19:26- 27, ERV) Caring for Aging Parents 6

Our Faith  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3) Caring for Aging Parents 7

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 8

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 9 Our relationship with God The Lordship of Christ Spirit-filled Eternity Salvation Physical family Spiritual family (the Church) Christian Ethos Christian Community

Our Faith: Where we must begin Caring for Aging Parents 10 He said, “Teacher, which command in the law is the most important?” Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbor the same as you love yourself.’ All of the law and the writings of the prophets take their meaning from these two commands.”  (Matt. 22:36-40, ERV)

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 11 Love Compassion Empathy Duty Blessing Thanksgiving

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 12 We need not travel this path alone God is with us Family Spiritual family Support groups Agencies Services

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 13 Prepare Talk Research Take advantage of a series such as this Reach out to those who are or have experienced this “The worst thing to do is to ignore what’s ahead.”

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 14

Our Faith: Where we must begin FaithAttitude Community KnowledgeActionResponse Caring for Aging Parents 15 Gracious and Grateful Understanding Humble Forgiving

Schedule of Topics Your questions and suggestions are appreciated Caring for Aging Parents 16

INTRODUCTION MARCH 8, 2015  Biblical foundation for family responsibilities  Overview of the series  The who, what, where, when, and why of caring for aging parents  Personal stories that help frame this multi-faceted, and sometimes confusing, stage of life Caring for Aging Parents 17

Organizing and Planning Ahead March 15, 2015  Moving from something we fear to something we can embrace  What to expect  Organizing and planning  What free resources are available Caring for Aging Parents 18

Negotiating the Healthcare System, part 1 March 22, 2015  Medical insurance  Medicare, Medicare Advantage, Medicare supplemental/gap insurance  Long-term care insurance  Medical savings accounts Caring for Aging Parents 19

Negotiating the Healthcare System, part 2 MARCH 29, 2015  Coordination of care across multiple doctors (primary care physician, allergist, audiologist, cardiologist, cardiothoracic surgeon, cardiothoracic vascular surgeon, chiropractor, dentist, dermatologist, electro physiologist, gastroenterologist, general surgeon, bariatric surgeon, gerontologist, ob-gyn, hematologist, internist, nephrologist, neurologist, neurosurgeon, oncologist, ophthalmologist, orthopedist, otolaryngologist, pain management specialist, sleep specialist, physiatrist, reconstructive surgeon, podiatrist, psychiatrist, psychologist, radiation oncologist, rheumatologist, urologist, vascular surgeon, wound care specialist)  Managing prescriptions  Emergencies (when/who to call, transportation, hospital emergency departments)  Hospitalization, Rehabilitation, Transitions (to home, to long-term care) Caring for Aging Parents 20

Financial and Legal Issues April 5, 2015  Wills  Power of Attorney  Estate Planning  Protecting and preserving assets  Reverse mortgages?  Investment options appropriate for aging parents  Family members financial responsibilities (or potential responsibilities)  What should be considered when multiple children are involved Caring for Aging Parents 21

Ensuring a Safe Environment April 12, 2015  Living at home of a family member or remaining in own home (alone or with spouse)  Security  Safe-proofing your home  Home modifications for seniors  Equipment for independent living  When to take the car keys away and how to plan for alternate transportation  How to protect seniors from wandering off/getting lost  Detecting warning signs and symptoms that need immediate intervention and care  Physically safe and emotionally safe (aging with dignity) Caring for Aging Parents 22

Healthy Living for Older Adults April 19, 2015  Nutrition  Exercise  Preventive care  Physical therapy  Chiropractic care  Massage therapy  Focus on HEALTH to minimize need for healthcare Caring for Aging Parents 23

Mental and Emotional Health April 26, 2015  Dementia  Alzheimer’s disease  Senility  Depression  Other common neurological disorders (Parkinson’s Disease, Neuropathy, Myopathy, ALS)  Abusive behavior that can accompany mental illness Caring for Aging Parents 24

Caregiving May 3, 2015  Who is responsible  Roles of family  Roles of friends  Roles of professionals  Roles of the Church  Coordinating caregiving  Ensuring that the senior feels loved, safe, well cared for; does not feel that he or she is a burden  Taking care of the caregiver (respites, support) Caring for Aging Parents 25

Professional Care Options May 10, 2015  In-home care  Assisted living  Skilled nursing facility (nursing home)  Continuing Care Retirement Community  Preparing for a move Caring for Aging Parents 26

Preparing for a Funeral May 17, 2015  Pre-planning  Knowing and honoring loved one’s wishes  Considering the needs of family and friends  Organ and body donor decisions (does parent want to be a donor; if so, in what capacity)  Options (burial, cremation, closed casket, open casket, visitation)  Additional considerations for out-of-state burials  Services (location, officiate, pall bearers, etc.)  What must be done upon death and who will do it (organ and body donation services, death certificate, contact service providers, burial clothing and jewelry, “in lieu of flowers”, obituary, etc.)  After the funeral (insurance, Social Security Administration and other government agencies, notification of doctors, thank you notes, transition of financial accounts, transition of non-financial accounts, etc.)  Support groups Caring for Aging Parents 27

End of Life Questions May 24, 2015  Living will  Who will make decisions and how will they be made  Hospice (why hospice care, when is it time, and what services are provided)  How does our Christian faith inform end-of-life decisions  Ethics of end-of-life decisions (honoring parent’s wishes, removing life support, euthanasia)  Support groups Caring for Aging Parents 28

Inform, Encourage, Heal May 31, 2015  Revisit previous 12 weeks; which topics warrant additional classes, seminars, etc.  Stories to share  Guilt and forgiveness  We are not alone in this journey Caring for Aging Parents 29

Headlines Caring for Aging Parents 30

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Stories Providing some context Caring for Aging Parents 32

3 Stories from Steve  “Getting old is a humbling experience”  “I will never be better than I am today”  Milkshakes and regrets Caring for Aging Parents 33

Debbi Lanham  Widowed 18 years ago. Cared for her husband, Darrell, for 2 years.  “Momma” to 1 daughter; “Hunny” to 2 darling grandchildren.  Retired after 35 years as an elementary school teacher.  Foster mother for 14 children over 4 1/2 year span at South Central Christian Children's Home.  Cared first for her mother and then her father during the final months of their lives. Currently helping care for 93 year old mother- in-law and sister-in-law. “The time to prepare for a storm is ahead of it, not during it!” Caring for Aging Parents 34

Mike Norwood Mike Norwood retired from 12 years with TN Dept. of Health after being in retail 4 years and in ministry 32 years. He currently acts as Conservator and Guardian for his mother-in-law who resides at Claiborne Hughes in Franklin. She suffers from vascular dementia and has been in residential care for over 6 years. “How often have I heard, ‘I just don’t want to be any trouble.’?” Caring for Aging Parents 35

Resources Available Caring for Aging Parents 36

Everything in One Place Caring for Aging Parents 37