CH.12 TODDLERS SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

FEARS AND ANXIETIES Fears and anxieties are commonly seen in toddlers. Toddlers fear monsters, witches, goblins, ghosts, etc. anything that they imagine in their mind. It is easier to understand this when you realize how adults encourage toddlers to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc., but not to believe in the other more frightening make-believe characters. “Bad people” are also frightening to toddlers. “Bad people” meaning those with characteristics of or clothing like those portrayed in books and television. It is important that parental caregivers help toddlers overcome their fears and anxieties. Fears and anxieties should be handled in a matter-of-fact manner. They should never be pushed into a situation they are afraid of. Adults should never say “There’s nothing to be afraid of” and push the child’s fears aside. Toddlers should be encouraged to talk about what is frightening them.

ANGER Anger is a common emotion in toddlers. Usually caused by their underdeveloped motor and language skills and their struggle for independence. Help the child find appropriate outlets for his/her anger, like running, hammering, playing kickball, etc.

SEPARATION ANXIETY separated Separation anxiety is the child’s fear of being separated from a parent and/or caregiver. Usually displayed by the child crying loudly, yelling or having a small tantrum. Begins around 18 months and lasts until age 2. The peak time is between months. Children are most likely to be affected by separation anxiety when they do not know or understand where their parents are going and when their parents will return. They feel abandoned by their parents at times. Some ways to help ease separation anxiety: Prepare child in advance of leaving. Don’t prolong goodbyes. Explain to the child where you will be.

NEGATIVISM AND TEMPER TANTRUMS Negativism is commonly seen in toddlers. Negativism is doing opposite of what others want and is closely related to autonomy: the toddler wants to do things by herself/himself. Because a toddler is going through a time of wanting independence he/she becomes negative toward anyone who attempts to take away his/her independence. “No” is the most common word. This is why many people say that toddlers are going through the terrible twos. “No” really means “let me decide for myself”.

Parents and caregivers of toddlers should limit restrictions to those that are most important to the parent. The parents must decide on a few(2-3) rules or limits that they want to enforce, then relax about the other things the child does. The key is being consistent about enforcing the limits and not allowing others to decide what you think is important. If parents enforce too many limits or restrictions, the child is more likely to have many tempers tantrums.

TEMPER TANTRUMS Temper tantrums at this age are normal and are usually displayed between ages 2-3. Struggle for control and independence. Tantrums occur because of the frustration they have with their inability to verbalize their feelings.

DURING TANTRUMS When the child has a temper tantrum, the parent should remember two goals: Prevent the child from harming themselves. Enforce limits you have set.

FACTORS INFLUENCING TEMPER TANTRUMS Some factors that influence temper tantrums: The toddler being overtired. A disruption in the normal routine. Too much excitement or activities. Frustration of too many choices. Frustration of too many restrictions. Frustration at the lack of language ability. Lack of firm, realistic limits.