APGO Scholars 2008 Conflict Resolution Douglas W. Laube, MD, MEd University of Wisconsin Lea Learman, MD. PhD University of California at San Francisco

“I really didn’t say everything I said!”

Objectives At the conclusion of the session, scholars will be able to: –1. Understand your own approaches to dealing with conflict; –2. Assess the control styles of your opposition; –3. Indicate how you might incorporate winning solutions into the resolution process; –4. Effect compromise to develop lasting change.

Conflict Resolution APGO Scholars –Introduction to Conflict Resolution –Thomas-Kilmann Instrument –Case studies –Group Discussion –Summary

Communication style Are men from Mars? Are women from Venus? Individual variations Impact of role/perceived role –Self –Other

Conflict Situations The concerns of two or more parties appear to be incompatible

Conflict Management Prerequisites Know your style Know the other party’s style

Your Styles Two basic dimensions -Assertiveness - satisfy self -Cooperativeness - satisfy others These styles can both be useful

Key Points “Conflict” is not necessarily a negative word. Resolution of conflict can center on solutions, rather than magnifying problems.

Traditional Techniques for Conflict Resolution Conquest Avoidance Bargaining Quick-fix Role-playing

A New View of Conflict From perceiving conflict as always being… A disruption of order, a negative experience, an error or mistake in a relationship. To perceiving conflict as often being… An outgrowth of diversity that might hold possibilities for mutual growth and for improving the relationship.

A New View of Conflict From perceiving conflict as always being… A battle between incompatible self- interests or desires To perceiving conflict as often being… One part of a relationship, a part that involves needs, values, perceptions, power, goals, feelings, and so on, not just interests or desires.

A New View of Conflict From perceiving conflict as always being… An isolated event we allow to define the entire relationship. To perceiving conflict as often being… Occurrences that punctuate a long- term relationship and that can help clarify it.

A New View of Conflict From perceiving conflict as always being… A struggle between right and wrong, good and evil. To perceiving conflict as often being… A confrontation between differences in certain aspects of a relationship, but not to the exclusion of other aspects that are still there to build on.

Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument

Case Studies 1-3

Four Origins of Conflict Selfishness Pride Insecurity Resentment

Six Relationship Builders Committed Considerate Confidential Candid Constructive Consistent

“You can observe a lot by watching.” The Yogi Book, 1998