DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS Facilitated by members of the Maine Local Government Human Resources Association (MLGHRA) MMA Municipal HR Conference June 16, 2015

Involves negative feedback Sensitive issues Could often be emotional Raises self-worth issues Confrontation/Conflict Has potential to damage relationships May raise even more issues… 2 What is a “Difficult Conversation?” A difficult conversation is any conversation that we are anxious about having.

Plan the conversation. What do you hope to accomplish? Gather your facts. Who should be involved? Where will you hold it? When? Write documentation, if warranted. Reflect and prepare 3 BEFORE PLANNING is critical. Don’t miss this step!

Open with a non-confrontational “I” statement Be clear and to the point regarding issue. Stay positive - believe a solution is possible LISTEN to their point of view, without making assumptions 4 How to Begin?

Stay cool! Less is better Focus on the issues and the goal Check for understanding Acknowledge what you can Encourage participants to propose solutions 5 DURING

SAMPLE SCENARIO It’s a small Town Hall Department of four employees, which includes the manager. Other than the rare occurrence, these employees generally do a very good job and get along pretty well. However, one staff member occasionally has some hygiene issues, which have become worse recently due to her choice of a new and very strong fragrance, applied liberally. There have been complaints from customers and co- workers this week. 6

Document immediately Share documentation to verify understanding Follow up on commitments made Reflect on how it went and what you learned from the conversation 7 AFTER

LET’S CHAT… You really have to speak with Jim, one of your employees, about disrespectful and rude behavior with customers and co-workers. Jim produces a large quantity of work, but you have observed that when he is busy with a task and is interrupted by a request from a co-worker or customer, he can be abrupt and impatient. Others in the office are clearly uncomfortable around him. Today you witnessed him snap at a co-worker. 8

Do not allow someone to refuse a conversation Do not delay (but take time to plan) Get right to the issue Don’t cover too many issues at once Remember the goal Do not take attacks personally Manager your emotions Take a “pause” if necessary. 9 TIPS

Let’s have some conversation about the conversations you need to have! Members of MLGHRA will facilitate at each table 10 YOUR TURN!

11 THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION! HAVE THAT CHAT! Now, GO FOR IT! YOU CAN DO IT! Contact Us: For more info: