Citizenship & Friendship Essay Feedback

The Prompt What does Bellah suggest is the major difference between the way early Americans thought about friendship and the way people today think about friendship? What do you think about his views? To make your essay convincing, you should discuss specific examples from your own experience, your observation of others, or any of your reading—including “Citizenship and Friendship” itself.

Overall Results? Goal: Each person improves from where she/he started and…. …everyone improved in at least one category! Overall average improved from 2.18 to 2.31 Improved in: – Category #1: Response to Essay Topic – Category #2: Understanding & Use of Text – Category #3: Word Choice & Sentence Structure – Category #4: Grammar, Usage, & Conventions Still need work in: – Category #2: Development (use quotes!) No change in: – Category #6: Grammar, Usage, & Conventions – Category #7: Anticipating Reader’s Needs

Category #1: Response to Essay Topic I believe that Bellah is completely right on his views about friendship in today’s society. We have lost one of the most important parts of friendship. The moral aspects of most people’s friendships today have lots value exponentially. We no longer tell our friends if we think what they did was right or wrong instead we tell them what they want to hear because we fear that we might hurt their feelings. Our moral instinct means a lot less than it did before. Today most friends will sit back and let their friends make the wrong choices and decisions when we know it is morally right to correct them. Friends today fear that by telling their friend the truth that the might loose them but really it will make their relationship stronger. … We are always jumping in and out of new and old friendships when things get difficult, and sometimes for no reason at all. Most of us in today’s society look at friendship as something that is not needed, when a friendship is created between two people it is not respected properly. *Internet

Category #2: Understanding & Use of Text The second component is to be helpful to each other. Friends must be useful to on another and be willing to give up time and sometimes even money for one’s friends. I also agree with this component because I think that a “friend” who is not willing to help a friend out in a problem they are showing they don’t care about the person. Friends must assist and support their friends when they are facing a pressure in their lives. I think that is one of the main reasons that friends are for, to help and care for each other throughout life. With this comes the responsibility to be able to understand each other and forgive when necessary, this shows a true friendship. A great example of this is Jefferson’s and Adam’s friendship, they would fail in something but later restore their friendship with reconciliation letters.

Category #3: Development Sadly, most people did not quote from the text!! … Many Americans now from modern times use their friends for what they have. They also just talk to someone and/or say they are friends for the popularity. As said in paragraph 3, “To use the issue of usefulness seems slightly out of place in a relationship that should above all be free and spontaneous, though we are quite aware of the importance of being ‘friendly’ to those who are potentially useful to us” (Bellah). I can compare this to a personal experience I’ve just had recently. One of my school classmates would only talk to me and try to be friendly just so she could try gossiping about others. She would seek information from other people just to try to get back to the people she did not like. …