The Christian Family: Husbands / Fathers as Spiritual Leaders We’ve now spent three lessons on “The Christian Family” in big-picture kind of ways. Though we have discussed some specifics about priority choices, how to establish them, and how those choices affect our families, for the most part these things have been directed to the family as a whole. Now let’s spend a little time talking about individual roles and responsibilities within the family.

First, let’s be sure we’re on the same page so to speak. We’ve been talking so far about “family”- but what constitutes “a family”? A Husband and a Wife make a “family.” Whether children are included or not, Gen.2:18-25. In keeping with the original model, when a man and woman decide to become “one flesh” through marriage, they constitute a new family. Therefore, they leave their parents and cleave to one another in this new and independent relationship, v.24. Obviously, children are typically born into this new family, cf. 4:1ff, but the husband and wife are nonetheless a “family” with or without them.

So, when we’re looking at leadership within “the family”… The term would have to be inclusive of Husband first, and Father when/if children are incorporated into the family. Here’s the problem: while the essentiality of a husband should be obvious to “family,” and father should be equally axiomatic, neither is necessarily a part of many “families” today. In this way, we have failed God’s order and arrangement greatly as a society, and are suffering a multitude of problems because of it, Prov.13:15b. To be pleasing to God as a society, we must restore God’s pattern for the “family” to include first husbands, and then also fathers.

If it’s going to be a “Christian” family, you bet! But just having a husband/father in the family alone is not sufficient. They must be the right kind of husband/father- a godly one who will lead the family according to God’s word. Think for a moment even about the terms typically used to describe the role of husband/father: Provider- of sustenance and shelter for the family. Leader- one who determines direction for the family. Teacher- one who educates the family. Protector- one who safeguards the family. Shouldn’t these same terms describe the role of spiritual husbands/fathers? If it’s going to be a “Christian” family, you bet!

The Christian Husband/Father Spiritual Provider All husbands/fathers are expected to provide for their own, 1Tim.5:8. But spiritual husbands/fathers need to provide much more than physical things. Companionship, understanding, honor and spiritual guidance to wives, 1Pet.3:7; 1Cor.14:34-35. Milk of the Word, discipline and instruction of the Lord to children, 1Pet.2:2; Eph.6:4. When a man marries, he is rightfully expected to “settle down” and be responsible for the provision of his family. Is this any less true in spiritual terms? Is your family spiritually illegitimate because you are failing to provide for them in this way???

The Christian Husband/Father Spiritual Leader A true leader is one who shares glory in success and accepts ultimate responsibility in failure. If your family is not growing and progressing physically, is there any shortage of concern or effort to improve the situation? What about the same things spiritually? What if they don’t “long for the pure milk of the word” (1Pet.2:2) or “know the sacred writings” (2Tim.3:15)? Do we even think in those terms? We do if we are the spiritually responsible leaders God expects us to be! Most husbands/fathers want the best for their families in physical terms. What about in spiritual ones? Col.3:1 Headship of the family is position of spiritual responsibility, Eph.5:23 > 25-27. Take it seriously.

The Christian Husband/Father Spiritual Teacher “I just can’t teach my wife/children about the Bible and God, she/they will just have to learn that for themselves- after all, I’m no teacher!” Have you taught your wife/children nothing else? Were you a “teacher” in regard to those things? Certain things are essential to being/becoming a good spiritual teacher for your family: Knowledge? Certainly, Prov. 14:6b; John 8:32. But what happened the first time your wife/child really needed to know something you did not? Ezra 7:10 Knowledge can be both gained and imparted together. First, recognize and acknowledge the need, Eph.6:3; then Be wiling to learn/teach and teach/learn, Heb.5:11-14.

The Christian Husband/Father Spiritual Protector Stop and think for a moment about the efforts we take to ensure the physical safety of our family. Now, what do we do to ensure their spiritual safety? Pray without ceasing for them, 1Thess.5:17; but remember, God usually answers prayers for which we are also willing to work. Stress their spiritual education, 2Tim.3:15-17; by all means, do your part at home, but take full advantage of the public assemblies of the church, bible classes, and gospel teaching as provided in other area churches also. Point out dangers in what may seem to them to be harmless things of this world, 1John 2:15-17; 1Cor.15:33; 1Tim.2:9ff. Spend adequate time with them to know their level of development, strengths, and weaknesses so that problem areas may be targeted. Teach them to live in the world, without living like the world, Matt.10:16; Jas.4:1-4.

The Christian Husband/Father In these ways, the spiritual husband/father does the same kinds of things a good physical husband/father does….only he does them better, and with spiritual goals and objectives in mind! Physical husbands/fathers do these things quite naturally- at least in physical terms, because it is in their nature. Spiritual husbands/fathers likewise do these things quite naturally in spiritual terms- if they are indeed spiritual themselves.