Creating Healthy Boundaries at Work…. And Beyond! Presented by the MCPS EAP

Learning Objectives To increase your understanding of boundaries and limit setting To increase your understanding of boundaries and limit setting To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries and setting limits in working with parents To identify challenges to maintaining boundaries and setting limits in working with parents To learn best practices for effectively setting and maintaining boundaries in working with parents To learn best practices for effectively setting and maintaining boundaries in working with parents

MCPS Employee Assistance Program Short term counseling, assessment and referral Short term counseling, assessment and referral Cost Cost Eligibility Eligibility Problem types Problem types Referrals (self, supervisor and other) Referrals (self, supervisor and other) Confidentiality/records Confidentiality/records Other services: workshops, crisis response, newsletter, access point to mediation Other services: workshops, crisis response, newsletter, access point to mediation Times/location Times/location

Exercise Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about the WORST behavior from a parent they ever experienced Dyad: 2 minutes to talk about the WORST behavior from a parent they ever experienced

What are Personal Boundaries? Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits. Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Boundaries Physical – choosing how close you allow people to come to you Physical – choosing how close you allow people to come to you Emotional – maintaining emotional distance; setting limits on how you want to be treated by others; Emotional – maintaining emotional distance; setting limits on how you want to be treated by others; Ethical – determined by your professional and/or personal code of ethics Ethical – determined by your professional and/or personal code of ethics

Boundaries can be… Boundaries can be… Flexible Flexible too flexible and it is easy to feel overwhelmed;too flexible and it is easy to feel overwhelmed; makes it difficult to set priorities and follow themmakes it difficult to set priorities and follow them Rigid Rigid too rigid and cultural differences are ignoredtoo rigid and cultural differences are ignored decisions are not based on the context of the relationshipdecisions are not based on the context of the relationship

Code of Ethics for Teachers from the Association of American Educators PRINCIPLE IV: Ethical Conduct toward Parents and Community PRINCIPLE IV: Ethical Conduct toward Parents and Community The professional educator pledges to protect public sovereignty over public education and private control of private education. The professional educator recognizes that quality education is the common goal of the public, boards of education, and educators, and that a cooperative effort is essential among these groups to attain that goal. 1. The professional educator makes concerted efforts to communicate to parents all information that should be revealed in the interest of the student. 2. The professional educator endeavors to understand and respect the values and traditions of the diverse cultures represented in the community and in his or her classroom. 3. The professional educator manifests a positive and active role in school/community relations. The professional educator pledges to protect public sovereignty over public education and private control of private education. The professional educator recognizes that quality education is the common goal of the public, boards of education, and educators, and that a cooperative effort is essential among these groups to attain that goal. 1. The professional educator makes concerted efforts to communicate to parents all information that should be revealed in the interest of the student. 2. The professional educator endeavors to understand and respect the values and traditions of the diverse cultures represented in the community and in his or her classroom. 3. The professional educator manifests a positive and active role in school/community relations.

What Makes it Challenging to Maintain Boundaries and Set Limits?

Control versus No Control

Group Exercise Brainstorm boundaries and setting limits: Brainstorm boundaries and setting limits: For each example, discuss what limits you would setFor each example, discuss what limits you would setF

Examples A parent shows up unannounced and demands a meeting A parent shows up unannounced and demands a meeting A parent becomes aggressive, takes charge of a meeting and is unwilling to end a conference A parent becomes aggressive, takes charge of a meeting and is unwilling to end a conference A parent refuses a recommendation for instruction or a consequence of behavior (that is data driven) i.e. math placement, reading group, loss of recess, etc. A parent refuses a recommendation for instruction or a consequence of behavior (that is data driven) i.e. math placement, reading group, loss of recess, etc. A meeting gets off track and the parent starts badmouthing another staff member A meeting gets off track and the parent starts badmouthing another staff member Bonus: How do you respond to a rude or bullying ? Bonus: How do you respond to a rude or bullying ?

How do you set and maintain boundaries? Know your limits/boundaries – lines you will not cross and won’t let others cross Know your limits/boundaries – lines you will not cross and won’t let others cross Know what is you and what is me Know what is you and what is me Recognize/understand your role Recognize/understand your role Use positive communication skills Use positive communication skills Build resiliency Build resiliency Focus on what you have control over Focus on what you have control over

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