EFFECTS OF SEPARATE PARENTING By Darryl Potts

WHAT IS A FAMILY? A typical family is a mother, a father, and one or more children. Family, however, means a group of two or more people living in the same household. This may be a single parent family, separated family, or even a group that just takes care of each other. However the family is formed, the roles that need to be met are the same. Essential needs must be met to ensure a child gets the support they need to have a healthy childhood.

ROLES OF THE PARENTS The traditional roles of the parents were set a long time ago by society. The father would provide economical support, while the mother provides both emotion support and educational support. Through time, these roles have changed so that, either parent can provide any of the support needed, as long as it were still available for the child.

THE NEEDS OF A CHILD When going through life, the needs of a child are the same, but the amount received from the parents may change. The needs of an infant As an infant, you rely on your parents for everything. They teach you to speak, they feed you and provide shelter, and they also fulfill all of your emotional needs. The needs of a toddler The needs of a toddler are similar to those of an infant but at this point, the child begins to pick up cues from others they encounter. At this age they also begin to form emotional ties outside of their immediate family The needs of an adolescent At this time in a child’s life, most of their education is from school, or interactions outside of the home. This is also where they begin to rely less on their family for emotional support, and form friendships outside of the home. But the support at home must still be available.

WHY FAMILIES SEPARATE Families split up for many reasons. Among those reasons, some of the main ones are: Commitment, Infidelity, Major Conflict During a study of why couples divorce, couples agreed these were the reasons: Commitment (or loss of love) 75% agreed this was an issue Infidelity 59% Conflict (an issue unable to overcome) 57%

RELIGIOUS VIEWS ON DIVORCE  In most religions, like Hinduism, Christianity and Judaism, marriage is a sacred union under their deity. Most of which look down on divorce, but allow it upon things like infidelity and violence.

EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN (NEGATIVE) When parents get divorced, the adults aren’t the only one that suffer. A lot of times the children’s needs get overlooked. What happens to a child is quite complex. The living conditions change whether it is joint custody or living with one parent and visiting the other. Things like self-esteem is also effected after divorce. Sometimes kids blame themselves for their parents splitting up. Self-esteem tends to be lower in children of separated families. Parents also tend to ignore other needs of their children to salvage their relationships. A possible detachment from society may occur while the parent is trying to reconnect with the child more than necessary.

EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN (POSITIVE) Though there are many bad things that come from divorce, there are some upsides to it. One of the main positive outcomes from divorce is the stronger relationship that tends to come from parents trying to “win back” their children’s love. Usually in families the emotional role between parent and child is split amongst that parents because they are both around at the same time.

POSSIBLE DIFFERENCE IN VIEWS BETWEEN CHILDREN OF WHOLE FAMILIES AND THOSE OF SEPARATED FAMILIES Children of “Whole Families” Higher self esteem Stable living conditions Greater connection with society Children of “Separated Families” Lower self-esteem Possible trust issues with others Disconnection to society.

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