KAREN RUSSELL MAED/SCHOOL COUNSELING NORTH LAYTON JUNIOR HIGH Working with LGBT youth

Learning Objectives Be able to identify and explain the alphabet soup of LQBTQQIA What do we already know about the risks of being an LGBT youth What are the obstacles parents may face in supporting their children What can schools do to ensure security How can you make your office a safe place What resources are available

My family in 2001 Our most recent family member This cause is personal for me

Why is this important for you? LGBT youth are far more likely to experience violence.  Somewhere between 12-28% of LGBT youth have been threatened or injured with a weapon on school property  Between 19-29% of lesbian and gay identified youth experienced dating violence in the prior year.  Between 18-28% of bisexual identified youth experienced dating violence.  Between 15-30% of LGBT identified students will experience sexual assault at some point in their life.  - As reported by the Centers for disease control

Quite often school counselors are a parent’s first line of defense. We are expected to have resources to help the children and we are expected to have answers for both the student and their parents.

Let’s talk vocabulary

LGBPTTQQIIAA Lesbian Lesbian Female attracted to female Gay Gay Male attracted to male Bisexual Bisexual someone who is attracted to both female and male identified people Transgender Transgender this term covers those who don’t identify as cis-gender  Not the same thing as a transvestite or drag queen/king Cis-gender Cis-gender biological gender matches the gender they identify with most.

But what about… Intersex Intersex a person whose birth gender is ambiguous. Used to be thought of as hermaphrodite. Asexual Asexual a person who experiences little to no sexual attraction to any gender. Pansexual Pansexual a person who feels physical, sexual, romantic or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities and expressions.

You are an ally if: You are an advocate if:  You support and respect members of the LGBT community  Not all allies are ready to take action. Coming out as an ally can be scary and sometimes people with treat you badly or make false assumptions about you.  Coming out as an ally can be a process  Being an ally doesn’t necessarily require any action. o You actively work to support members of the LGBT community o You support equality for socially marginalized groups o You actively support a cause o You work to educate people about that cause Advocates and Allies

How can we make this time easier? Meet the families where they are. Parents need to be able to tell their story. Parents might not come to the table with lots of knowledge or vocabulary. They might need help learning respectful terminology.

Families need to understand the costs Teens and young adults who are rejected by family are:  8. 4 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts  5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression  3.4 times more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs  3.4 times more likely to engage in risky/unprotected sex Most parents who engage in rejecting behavior do so because they are trying to protect their children. Some are reacting out of fear or ignorance. Most still love their children and want to have a relationship with them.

Rejecting behaviors Accepting behaviors Any form of physical abuse Calling names or verbally abusing Excluding the child from family activities Blocking access to LGBT friends or events Blaming your child Guilting, shaming or pressuring your child Using God as a form of coercion Preventing your child from talking about who they are. Talk with and respectfully listen to your child Tell your child you love him Supporting your child, even if it is hard or uncomfortable Require that other members of your family treat your child appropriately. Advocate for your child if there is bullying going on at church or at school Welcome your child’s LGBT friends into your home Don’t be afraid to discuss your child’s identity with your friends Be positive about your child’s future Behaviors to watch out for

STUDENTS WHO FEEL SAFE AT SCHOOL ARE LESS LIKELY TO BE TRUANT AND MORE LIKELY TO MAINTAIN GRADES, GRADUATE ON TIME AND GO ON TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS Schools play a pivotal role in student safety

What can your school do? Start a Gay Straight Alliance If your school offers non-curricular clubs they must allow a GSA GSA’s have been proven as effective ways to help students feel safe and connected at school Some schools will oppose a GSA based on:  We can’t let students have a club that is about sex. GSA’s are not about sex. They are about supporting every student in the school. It gives the student a chance to connect with others  We can’t let outsiders come in and start a club. A GSA is student led. There is a faculty advisor, but the club itself is run by students  It’s too controversial. If there is a commotion about this club, it shows the need for the club. The federal courts have ruled in favor of GSAs.

GLSEN Ally Week No Name Calling Week Takes place in October Actions in a minute:  Intentional vow to be an ally  Social media Actions for an hour  Pay attention to language  Think about an ally as being a way of life Actions for an afternoon  Write an article or letter to editor about being an ally Should be a school wide project Can be part of a safe schools program Can involve faculty, students, community and parents Use social media to spread the word. What other things are there

Create a safe place for discussion There are positive ways to express yourself Teach students to respect others Respect confidentiality Teach students why words are hurtful Some kids say things like “that’s so gay” because they don’t realize these words are hurtful. Sometimes kids just need to learn to think about it conciously Think b4 your speak

Proudly show you are an LGBT ally and advocate! There can be small signs around your office that show your students your office is safe. Kids watch for these and even if they don’t say it, they internalize the meaning.  HCR Equality sign  GLSEN safe space sign  Utah Pride Center sticker  Pink Triangle  No H8 campaign

Oh the places you can go… HRC.org Utahpridecenter.org  There are many resources available for teens, adults, parents and allies GLSEN.org Family Acceptance Project PLFAG  Local chapters give support for parents, family and LGBT

References Centers for disease control and prevention. (2014, November 12). Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender health. Retrieved from LGBT youth: GLSEN. (2008). Think B4 you speak educators guide. Retrieved from Think b4 you speak: Kellerman, S. (2015). The genderbread person v3. Retrieved from It's prouncounced metrosexual: genderbread-person-v3/ Ryan, C., & Futterman, D. (1998). Lesbian and gay youth. New York: Columbia University Press. Ryan, C., & Rees, R. (2012). Family acceptance project. Retrieved from Supportive families, healthy children: Helping Latter Day Saint families with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children: Ryan, C., Russell, S., Huebner, D., Diaz, R., & Sanchez, J. (2010). Family acceptance in adolescence and the health of LGBT young adults. Journal of child and adolescent psychiatric nursing,