Give me the dignity to say Goodbye! Acknowledging feelings when someone passes away.

What is a Mini Memorial? A short service held in a comfortable lounge room, a familiar setting within the cottage. An intimate gathering rather than a larger potentially more distressing and confusing setting of a formal funeral. The focus is not religious, but spiritual. To reflect quietly, share memories of the person that passed away, to pray, to acknowledge and express feelings.

Why meet together in this way? It is a statement that the deceased person was valued by others in the community. It acknowledges personhood and citizenship. It is a transparent process, acknowledges death’s reality. It is what other adults do, they mark the occasion and say their good bye appropriately. People living with dementia have their feelings acknowledged sensitively. This aids in bringing closure, and assists in healing the grieving process. It allows residents to say good bye in a safe, and supportive environment. The residents ask for it! This shows how much they value it.

How: The Mini Memorial process Inform 1:1 those whom I knew were close to the deceased person as soon as possible. Often they had been enquiring of their friend’s welfare Mini Memorial Service is held as soon as possible following the person’s death. Basic format: Purpose, picture, tribute led by me, followed by others tributes, quiet moment, music, prayer of remembrance and thanksgiving. Acknowledgement of feelings and normalising of grief. After service Morning tea is served. Observe, monitor, intervene where appropriate. The content varies to reflect the remembered person’s own uniqueness, and individuality.

Environment: Nature, sea, mountains, gardens Relationships: Intimacy with others and/or God Spirituality Ultimate meaning mediated through Religion: Worship, prayer, meditation The arts: Music, art, dance, sport, culture From: Elizabeth MacKinlay: Spirituality and religion 2006, p:14