Death, Dying & Grieving

What is death? Death is defined as “the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism” Death is defined as “the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism” We all know it is inevitable but the way we approach it varies from person to person, culture to culture. We all know it is inevitable but the way we approach it varies from person to person, culture to culture.

Facing death with dignity and openness helps people complete the life cycle with a sense of life’s meaningfulness and unity…the sense that their existence has been good and that life and death are parts of an ongoing cycle. (Myers) Facing death with dignity and openness helps people complete the life cycle with a sense of life’s meaningfulness and unity…the sense that their existence has been good and that life and death are parts of an ongoing cycle. (Myers)

Fear of death Not as common as you think. Not as common as you think. 4 % of people directly fear dying. 4 % of people directly fear dying. Older people fear the circumstance of dying such as pain or helplessness. Older people fear the circumstance of dying such as pain or helplessness. So how does one come to terms if one knows its coming So how does one come to terms if one knows its coming

Reactions to Impending Death Denial and isolation Denial and isolation Anger- “Why me?” Anger- “Why me?” Bargaining – “Let me live a little longer and I’ll do anything” Bargaining – “Let me live a little longer and I’ll do anything” Depression Depression Acceptance Acceptance Not all go through these stages…. Not all go through these stages….

Life is affirmed at death. Life is affirmed at death. Erick Erikson said that people who view life with “integrity” have a feeling that one’s life has been meaningful and worthwhile. Erick Erikson said that people who view life with “integrity” have a feeling that one’s life has been meaningful and worthwhile. Therefore death is not viewed with despair but acceptance. Therefore death is not viewed with despair but acceptance.

What is grieving? Bereavement is the loss of a relative/friend. Bereavement is the loss of a relative/friend. Make a person feel vulnerable and can change one’s views on the world and future. Make a person feel vulnerable and can change one’s views on the world and future. Grieving is to feel grief or great sorrow. Grieving is to feel grief or great sorrow.

Grief has different stages: Grief has different stages: Shock-emotional numbness Shock-emotional numbness Pangs of shock-episodes of painful yearning for the dead person. Might include episodes of anger Pangs of shock-episodes of painful yearning for the dead person. Might include episodes of anger Apathy-listlessness Apathy-listlessness Dejection-demoralization Dejection-demoralization Depression-deep despondency Depression-deep despondency

Grievers at first will view life as less meaningful Grievers at first will view life as less meaningful Usually lasts 2-3 weeks Usually lasts 2-3 weeks But insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of energy might continue But insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of energy might continue Once the idea that nothing can be changed the person learns to change. Once the idea that nothing can be changed the person learns to change.

When a person changes, this is known as resolution. The accept and begin to rebuild their life. When a person changes, this is known as resolution. The accept and begin to rebuild their life.

The way one grieves varies…depends on personality, relationship of deceased, and nature of death. Is it true that suppressing grief causes more problems later? Is it true that suppressing grief causes more problems later?No…

Some cultures encourage public weeping and wailing Some cultures encourage public weeping and wailing Others hide grief. Others hide grief. But those who are more open with their grieving don’t necessarily heal faster. But those who are more open with their grieving don’t necessarily heal faster. So how should you approach grief? So how should you approach grief?

Coping with grief Acknowledge and accept the person is gone Acknowledge and accept the person is gone Face the loss directly and do not isolate yourself Face the loss directly and do not isolate yourself Discuss your feelings Discuss your feelings Do not block out your feelings Do not block out your feelings Allow grief process Allow grief process Honor the memory of deceased Honor the memory of deceased

Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but with the passage of time the pain of loss does lessen. ( Reif, Patton, & Gold, 1995). Time doesn’t heal all wounds, but with the passage of time the pain of loss does lessen. ( Reif, Patton, & Gold, 1995).

Which do you think is easier to grieve: a sudden death or a death that was predicted? Which do you think is easier to grieve: a sudden death or a death that was predicted?