 This slide show looks at some of the ways people have remembered those who have died in times past and the ways these practices and customs have changed over time.  Many of the practices we have today can be attributed to the practices of the past.

 After the death of Prince Albert in 1861 from typhoid fever, Queen Victoria wore black and went into deep mourning for him for the rest of her long life.  To mourn the death of a family member by wearing black attire and keeping mementoes of the deceased such as locks of hair in mourning jewellery became very fashionable in Victorian society. Photo by Alexander Bessano of Queen Victoria of England / Empress Victoria of India, London, Wikipedia Commons  The death of Prince Albert had a marked impression on the ways mourning and grief for the dead were respectably managed.

This statue in Queen’s Garden’s Dunedin commemorates Queen Victoria. There are probably more statues of Queen Victoria around the World than any other person. The Queen is flanked by two women. The women represent the virtues of Justice and Wisdom. Justice is represented on the left holding scales and a sword and Wisdom is on the right. She wears a broach featuring a tiny owl.

 Alongside these everyday customs, a style of architecture and literature developed that today we call “Gothic Reviva.l” It was a style that proliferated around the world.  The Albert Memorial in Kenningston Gardens London was commissioned by Queen Victoria and opened in 1871, and is an example of Gothic revival.  Many early New Zealand buildings and funerary memorials are built in this style. Compare the style of the inserted photo of Larnach’s tomb in Dunedin with the Albert Memorial in London. The Albert Memorial Larnach’s Tomb

 In memoriam cards were printed and sent to friends and relatives to let them know of a death.  This card, for Augusina Taylor, a young machinist, lived in Caversham Dunedin. She is buried in Dunedin’s Southern Cemetery. No headstone exists.  In memoriam cards feature many of the same motifs and epitaphs that we find on Victorian and Edwardian headstones.

 The in-memoriam card featured here commemorates Mr Hugh Walker who was interred in Palmerston (South) Cemetery in  This card, like the gravesite headstone, features only simple decoration, and begins to show the changes that were occurring by 1916 in attitudes towards memorialisation.  Notice the narrow black borders around the card and photo. All letter and cards from the family in mourning would have had this black border added in paint or crayon.

 In the language of flowers of the time, pansies symbolised thoughts. They are not normally featured alone on headstones but in combination with other flowers.  This in-memoriam card for Madeline Robinson (interred at the West Taieri Cemetery, Otago) features an arrangement of pansies as well as an epitaph.

 Immortelles are everlasting flower arrangements that can be left permanently on the gravesite. In this old photograph immortelles cover the concreted surface of the McKewen gravesite in Dunedin’s Southern Cemetery. (Otago Witness, May 13, 1914, p.40).  Older immortelles were made of parian-ware (a ceramic material) and protected by glass domes and sometimes by wire cages.  These immortelles feature clasped hands, a dove, and many of the flowers that also feature on the headstones.

 Lockets, broaches, rings and pendants functioned as tangible reminders of the deceased.  Memorial jewellery was also very popular. Memorial broaches had removable glass backs that allowed the bereaved to insert some of the hair of the deceased, and wear it close to the heart. The hair was usually plaited but was also sometimes arranged into beautiful designs.

 The First World War, followed by the 1918 influenza epidemic brought an end to the elaborate Victorian and Edwardian style funeral.  Funeral reform movements grew. There was a movement towards cheaper funerals helped by economic changes that were in the wind. Families struggling under the hard financial times that existed after the war, that deepened with the depression of the early 1930s, were happy to forgo the expensive funeral and accompanying memorials.  Beliefs and philosophies relating to life and death also changed along with medical changes bringing longer life expectancy. By the 1980s and 1990s life-centred funerals, had become the norm.

 Today the look of the cemetery has changed. Burial remains a preference for many for personal reasons but today’s cemeteries are smaller and not so statuesque. Headstones increasingly incorporate symbols and artwork that can be associated with people’s lives.  Cemeteries are not the only places were people can find their final resting places. Cremation allowed for the scattering of ashes and many chose personally-significant places to do this. Ashes burials are also a popular option with some choosing their old family gravesites but others opting for small plaques in wall or ashes beams.

 The death of Princess Dianna in 1997 lead to a public outpouring of grief and sympathy that was replicated around the world.  The tragic death of Princess Diana like that of Prince Albert may be partly responsible for an upsurge in interest in memorialisation in recent times, and an increase in, and divergence of, the ways we memorialise.  Bunches of flowers, still in their decorative wrappings, were left in their hundreds and thousands outside the gates of her home at Kensington palace in London. The flowers were waist deep. For online photos see also and for an aerial view of the flowers see

 Memorial sites can often now to be found at the site especially of a tragic accident.  The immortelles have been replaced by colourful synthetic flowers, butterflies, angels, teddy bears, and other ornaments that reflect the life of the deceased.  This very poignant memorial is at site of a road fatality and has been beautifully maintained for a number of years.

Sheila Mary Taylor  Ashes burials are now in long concrete “beams” and walls rather than plots. Sheila Mary Taylor

 All cultures have ways of memorialising the dead by leaving something at the grave-side.  The custom has become so well established that small stones are often picked up on the travels of individuals visiting and placed on the tombstone.  Above: At a recent family reunion, the descendents left a row of small white pebbles on the tombstone.  Left: Pebbles are sometimes picked up in the cemetery itself.  One of the most interesting is the Jewish practice of leaving pebbles on and around the tombstone.

 Maori also have a practice of leaving painted pebbles on and around the tombstone or covering the plot itself.  As well as painted or coloured stones, food, plants, and shells and beer are also left for the deceased.

Photo: Wikipedia Commons  It is now possible to create gemstones from carbon that's captured during the cremation of human remains.  Diamonds from people? How does the process work? Carbon is released during cremation and is captured as a dark powder, which is then heated to produce graphite. The graphite is then synthesized into fancy coloured diamonds in shades of blue, red, colourless, green or yellow. Dozens of stones can be made from one individual or even a pet!  There are several international companies that are finding an increasing number of people prepared to to leave family members a lasting memento of themselves. Wikipedia URLhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_diamond

g/  Websites allow individuals to construct virtual memorials especially for separated family members.  In addition to having guest books most allow people to leave virtual “flowers” or “candles”.