Warm-up How will a relationship be affected if one person makes all the decisions or makes decisions without consulting the other person?

Warm-up If your best friend was marrying someone you did not approve of, would you intervene? How would you go about doing this? Turn in your warm-up sheet! Test today! Look over your notes.

Warm-up Listen to Horton Hatches an Egg Answer Handout Questions during reading How does this Dr. Seuss book relate to building a marriage?

Warm-up Read “The Dirtiest Man in the World”. “You attract what you are, not what you want.” Do you believe this is true?

Getting the Bugs Out Hello, I’m the Divorce Bug. I’m highly contagious and terribly overworked. It seems that no marriage is completely immune from me. Contained herein are descriptions of my most potent viruses and divorce-fluenzas, which have successfully started thousands of unsuspecting married couples on the road to divorce. I’ve also included top secret treatments which have been developed by our “cure prevention” research lab. So please study this information carefully and try some of the treatments. Then maybe my wife and I will be able to take that Caribbean cruise we’ve been planning for the past five years. Thanks, The Divorce Bug

Warm-up How could strong relationships with family and friends strengthen a marriage? What activities do you enjoy doing with your family that you hope your future spouse might enjoy doing with them as well?

Warm-up How long do you think is necessary for an engagement? What type of marriage ceremony would you prefer?

Warm-up Do you think arranged marriages are a good idea? Why or why not? Would you consider this if it was important to your family or cultural heritage? Royal Wedding Most expensive weddings http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/most-expensive-weddings-of-all-time/

Warm-up Why do you think the divorce rate for teen marriages is high than the overall divorce rate? What age do you think you will be ready for marriage? Explain why.

Interpersonal Studies Choosing to Marry Interpersonal Studies

What qualities can you bring to a marriage? Ability to give and receive love Ability to express empathy Emotional stability Decision making skills Flexibility

Strengthening your Relationship The ability to give and receive love is vital to a happy marriage. Empathy= sharing inner thoughts and feelings, understanding the other’s feelings. Emotional stability comes with maturity. Flexibility= being willing to change within a relationship. Shared decision making skills will help a couple make decisions that match their priorities and help them reach goals.

Are you ready for marriage? Am I able to unselfishly give love? Am I able to receive love? Am I sensitive to the hurts and needs of others? Am I willing to try to see and experience the world from the other person’s point of view? Can I recognize my own emotions? Can I accept my emotions and control them? Can I express my emotions without hurting others? Can I accept differences in a partner? Am I able and willing to adjust to change? Do I usually respond logically?

Evaluating a Relationship Many factors can affect a couple’s marital relationship such as: age, finances, and common interests. Communication, decision making, and conflict resolution can also affect the relationship. Friends and family can also affect the future of a relationship.

Age at Marriage The link between age and marital success is related to emotional, mental, and social maturity. Marrying during the teen years can add more stress to a relationship. Give yourself time for personal growth. What age do you want to get married?

What do you have in common? Researchers who have studied marriage relationships have formed a principle called homogamy. This principle suggests that people who have many similarities are more likely to have a satisfying marriage. You will most likely be attracted to someone who is similar to you. Dating websites use this principle to match couples.

Similarities Interests= common interests can help a relationship grow. Goals and values= may include children, parenting, education, career expectations, religious beliefs. Similar backgrounds= family customs, social/economic expectations, etc.

Differences Complementary qualities= when differences benefit a relationship. Race= couples in an interracial marriage may face challenges, family and friends may support/reject the relationship. Religion= differences should be discussed before marriage, may not become an issue until children are born.

Communication A couple needs good communication for sharing their personal thoughts, feelings, and desires. If either person feels ignored or unaccepted, the relationship will not grow. Good communication skills can help a couple clear up misunderstandings, make joint decisions, and solve problems in a marriage.

Decision Making and Problem Solving As a relationship grows, you will be faced with making important decisions together. Identify the issue and talk about choices. Evaluating your skills for problem solving and settling differences before you consider marriage is important. Wait until your emotions cool down to resolve differences. Use I statements to express observations, thoughts, and feelings. Disagreements are normal, sensitivity should increase. There should be fewer arguments and fights as your relationship grows. Your skills for negotiating should increase.

Friends and Family Your chances for a successful marriage are increased when family and friends approve of your marriage partner. Family support can be a source of friendship, counseling, or financial help. The approval of friends can increase satisfaction in a relationship. Couples who choose to marry without approval of family and friends face more challenges.

Reasons for Marrying Positive Negative Infatuation Mature love Intimacy Companionship Commitment Satisfaction Infatuation Give in to make other person happy Avoid loneliness Financial security Next step in relationship Escape from other problems Pregnancy

Engagement Engagement= the final stage in the dating process leading to marriage. Signifies the start of a couple's plans for married life. Usually begins with a formal announcement to family and friends. Length of engagement may vary from months to years. Chandler & Monica Jamie & Aurélia

Marriage Roles Roles= particular patterns of behavior for daily living. Common roles of a marriage partner include being a friend, companion, cook, bill payer or nurse. Complementary roles= each person takes on a role that supplies what the other person lacks. Role sharing= a way of handling responsibilities, a couple works together to carry out a task.

Working Together as a Couple Finances are a major area of conflict within a marriage. Develop a spending and saving plan. Decide who will pay bills and make certain purchases. Choose housing that you can afford. Plan for the future and discuss your career goals. Discuss having children and how you will raise them. Discuss family obligations…who will you spend holidays with?

Premarital Counseling Often couples consult a counselor or religious leader to discuss readiness for marriage, expectations for each other, skills for communication, skills for making decisions and problem solving. Money management is also discussed as many marriages experience conflicts related to finances. Most marriage counselors recommend an engagement of at least 6 months-2 years.

Breaking an Engagement Some couples may discover they are not ready for marriage. A broken engagement is better than an unhappy marriage.

Marriage Laws In the U.S. marriage is a legal contract. Both parties must enter the marriage contract willingly, or by mutual consent. Check laws in your particular state. Most marriage laws specify certain physical requirements, minimum ages, licensing necessities, and legal officiates.

Marriage Ceremony Ceremonial wedding= performed by a religious official, couple may celebrate by sharing gifts to help establish the new home. Civil ceremony= family members and a few friends witness the couple's vows taken before a judge or public official. Vows= statements that specifically express the couple’s commitment to each other.