Family Life Certification Module 6 Marriage Strengthening

10 married couples

3 important C’s in a marriage ommitment ommitment ommunication ommunication andlelight andlelight & kisses & kisses

A DEFINITION OF LOVE  Love is  a principle  a commitment  an unconditional commitment  a covenant between two people

 Love is always there; irregardless of feelings  Love is a decision: two people decide  To make marriage an absolute commitment  To communicate that commitment OFTEN

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 NIV

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Gen 2:20-22 NIV

COMMUNICATION THE SECOND “C”

At the heart of marriage is its communication system (Dwight Small)At the heart of marriage is its communication system (Dwight Small)

Communication is a skill Not taught but caught at homeNot taught but caught at home Not taught in school/universityNot taught in school/university Yet is vital to a relationship, especially to marriageYet is vital to a relationship, especially to marriage Does not just happen; has to be learnedDoes not just happen; has to be learned

#1 Source of Frustration for Wives

ClichéCliché Reporting the factsReporting the facts My ideas/judgments/opinionsMy ideas/judgments/opinions My feelings/emotionsMy feelings/emotions Complete emotional, deep and personal truthful communicationComplete emotional, deep and personal truthful communication Levels of Communication

Communication needs to be positive and encouragingCommunication needs to be positive and encouraging

THE THIRD “C” Candlelight and KissesCandlelight and Kisses

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,‘ for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Gen 2:23-25 NIV

Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Matthew 19:4-6 NIV

Cultivating Romantic Love PlanningPriorities If you don’t choose to be romantic, and then plan to be romantic, you probably won’t be romantic

Time — a rare commodity Parents don ’ t have time for children Husbands and wives don ’ t have time for each other  Korean couples spend only 2 minutes communicating per day  Quality time vs quantity time

5 Vitamins of Love Attention Bear hugs/touches each morning and evening Compliments throughout the day Discipline to learn how to fill each other with love Encouragement

“Everyday we’re poured a cupful of time. You either drink yours or spill it on the floor.” -- Ron D. Barbaro

Cultivating Romantic Love Proper rest

Prayer in your Marriage Prayer is the breath of the soul. It is the secret of spiritual power. No other means of grace can be substituted and the health of the soul be preserved. Prayer brings the heart into immediate contact with the Wellspring of Life, and strengthens the … muscle of the religious experience. Neglect the exercise of prayer, or engage in prayer spasmodically, now and then, as convenient, and you lose your hold on God. GW

Our Past & Forgiveness Like it or not, we are stuck with our past. The only tyranny of the past is forgiveness. In order to forgive we must first surrender our right to get even. Without forgiveness your anger will turn to resentment and eventually hatred for each other.

We tend to forgive slowly We tend to forgive with others who forgive. We forgive as we are forgiven

Review: Share one point you learned with the rest of the group about strengthening a marriage.

I’ve told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:11, 12 NIV

Ask in my name, according to my will and God will most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be like a river, overflowing its banks! John 16:24 (Message Bible)