Nurturing Children or Raisin ’ Cain? Love & Discipline 1 Ths. 2:11-12; Heb. 12:5-6, 10-11

2 CHILDREN Inheritance from God, Psa. 127:3; Prov. 17:6 Goal: Present them to the Lord, Gen. 18:19; 1 Sam. 1:22; 2:11 God, our heavenly Father, knows best how to rear children

3 Discipline is Comprehensive Ephesians 6:4 “Not only bring them up, as the brutes do, taking care to provide for them; but bring them up in nurture and admonition, in such a manner as is suitable to their reasonable natures. Nay, not only bring them up as men, in nurture and admonition, but as Christians, in the admonition of the Lord. Let them have a religious education. Instruct them to fear sinning; and inform them of, and excite them to, the whole of their duty towards God.” (Matthew Henry, Commentary on Ephesians )

4 Instruction – Prov. 1:8-9 Teach about life … teach word of God, Deut. 4:8-10; 6:4-9; 11:18-19 Teach about life … teach word of God, Deut. 4:8-10; 6:4-9; 11:18-19 Train in righteousness, 2 Tim. 3:15-16 Train in righteousness, 2 Tim. 3:15-16 Correction – Prov. 3:12, 13:24; 22:15; 29:17 Discipline is Comprehensive Ephesians 6:4

5 Divine Guidance Insist on obedience, Eph. 6:1-3 (Prov. 30:11) Example of Jesus, Lk. 2:51 Example of Jesus, Lk. 2:51 Example of Eli & his sons, 1 Sam. 2:12, 22-25, 29; 3:13 Example of Eli & his sons, 1 Sam. 2:12, 22-25, 29; 3:13

6 Divine Guidance Praise as well as punish Punishment that fits offense (1 Sam. 2:22-24) Punishment that fits offense (1 Sam. 2:22-24) Punishment without praise will break a child ’ s spirit, Col. 3:21 Punishment without praise will break a child ’ s spirit, Col. 3:21

7 Divine Guidance Give what is needed, not necessarily what is wanted, Matt. 7:8-11 “ It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation. ” (John Gray, “ Children Are From Heaven ” ) “ It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation. ” (John Gray, “ Children Are From Heaven ” ) Say “ yes ” when you can & “ no ” when you must Say “ yes ” when you can & “ no ” when you must

8 Divine Guidance Be consistent, 1 Sam. 2:12, 22; 3:13 Follow through Follow through Stay in control of yourself Stay in control of yourself Practice what you preach (2 Tim. 1:5) Practice what you preach (2 Tim. 1:5)

9 Divine Guidance Do not show favoritism, Gen. 25: 28; 37:3 Recognize & respect each child ’ s individuality with impartiality Recognize & respect each child ’ s individuality with impartiality Work together, Lk. 2:51 (Gen. 27:5); Matt. 12:25

10 Divine Guidance Find & develop the child ’ s “ way ” Prov. 22:6 Direction & discipline suitable for the child, Eccl. 2:3; 5:18-19; 12:1 Direction & discipline suitable for the child, Eccl. 2:3; 5:18-19; 12:1 “ The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. ” (Elain Heffner, O Magazine, May 2003) “ The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. ” (Elain Heffner, O Magazine, May 2003)

11 Divine Guidance Set godly examples, Isa. 39:4; Prov. 4:1-4 (2 Tim. 1:5) Love God, Matt. 22:37 Love God, Matt. 22:37 Love men, Matt. 22:39 Love men, Matt. 22:39 Pray for God ’ s help, Judges 13:8-9; Jas. 1:5-8 (Phil. 4:6-7) Rely on God ’ s word to direct you, Prov. 3:5-6 Rely on God ’ s word to direct you, Prov. 3:5-6

12 Divine Guidance Be patient, 2 Tim. 1:5; 3:15 Start early, Prov. 13:24 (Jochebed & Moses; Hannah & Samuel) Start early, Prov. 13:24 (Jochebed & Moses; Hannah & Samuel) Stay the course, Prov. 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15 Stay the course, Prov. 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15 Confess & repent when you sin against your children, Jas. 5:16 (Col. 3:21)

13 Divine Guidance Remember: The responsibility & accountability is yours Seek counsel, Tit. 2:4; Prov. 11:14; 15:22 Seek counsel, Tit. 2:4; Prov. 11:14; 15:22 Filter all advice through the sieve of God ’ s word Filter all advice through the sieve of God ’ s word Beware of intrusive meddlers & meddling – 1 Pet. 4:15 Beware of intrusive meddlers & meddling – 1 Pet. 4:15

The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (Prov. 29:15) Nurturing Children or Raisin ’ Cain? 14