Chapter 16 Marriage Matters Part 2

Learning Goals  1) In this part of the chapter, we will explore the social dimension of marriage.  2) We will understand how a husband and a wife are a sign of God’s love for each other, for their children, and for their community.  3) We will explore the religious significance of marriage and understand that marriage is sacramental in nature.

Marriage from the perspective of society  The couple as a new social cell…  Marriage is an essential building block of society, culture, and civilization.  With marriage, a man and a woman create a new social cell in society.  For this reason, most societies provide a civic ceremony, grant a marriage license, and give marriage legal protection.

The couple as a new social cell  For a family, the bond between a husband and wife provides the stable environment for the growth and development of their children.  Marriage in a secular, multicultural society is indispensible to establish and maintain the social order.  Stable family relationships are more important than any other form of human relationship in society.

Marriage as a legal commitment -Since government regulates and protects marriage for the good of society, it legalizes marriage in the form of a contract. -Each person enters the contract promising to live with the other in an exclusive and permanent relationship. -The commitment of marriage represents the couple’s intention to create a new social cell.

 A legal marriage requires that someone in authority be present at the signing. This official presence is needed to ensure that there is a genuine and public vow made by the couple, and that this vow conforms to the requirements of the society. This is why marriage is also a public act.  The man and the woman officially establish their relationship within society by publically declaring their commitment to one another.  During the wedding ceremony the priest signs the marriage documents, acting as a representative of the government and the Church.

Marriage as a rite of passage  Marriage is part of a process of moving from a single state to a married state.  In each culture and society, this process may differ.  This personal and social transition encompasses a series of intentional acts such as engagement, the meeting of the two families, the formal setting of dates and the place of marriage, wedding showers, pre-marriage parties, marriage rehearsal etc.

 The wedding, the ceremony in which promises are exchanged before witnesses, uses gestures, symbols and words to publically declare that the partners are entering a new status in society (Mr. & Mrs.)  As a result of this declaration, the man and woman are now spouses, husband and wife, life partners.  Their entry into a new state of life also creates new kinship relations that are enshrined in affinity and parental ties.

Marriage as an institution  As an institution, marriage is surrounded and protected by morality and customs.  Because it is a part of the public and social domain, marriage involves third parties.  Marriage involves all sorts of representatives of society; the witness, the community, the law, society as a whole.  For Catholics marriage also involves the Church and God.  As an institution, marriage has deep ecclesial and anthropological roots involving relationships of blood and affinity that are among the strongest social bonds within society.

The permanency of marriage in the Catholic Church  Indissolubility: Catholics believe that a valid and sacramental marriage is permanent and for life.  The term that is used to describe the permanency of marriage is indissoluble.  This term refers to the fact that the sacrament of marriage is dissolved only death, and that since the marriage is a covenant in the Lord through the Church, the state has no power to dissolve a sacrament of the Church by granting a civil divorce.

Scripture  Genesis: “What God has joined, let no one separate”  Or, more explicitly, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another she commits adultery” (Mark 10.9, 11-12)

Annulments  A valid and sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church cannot be dissolved by civil authorities.  However, sometimes it happens that from the very day of the wedding, the marriage covenant is void and invalid. This happens when the couple does not fulfill the conditions of marriage.  For example, one spouse intends never to have children and takes steps to prevent having children without ever telling the other spouse.

Separation and Divorce  There are situations in which living together for a couple becomes practically impossible, and so they decide to separate.  In such cases a couple may separate and seek a legal, civil divorce.  However, such a divorce, in the Catholic understanding, does not dissolve the marriage and so the person is not free to marry someone else.

Divorce and Remarriage  Catholics who have been granted a civil divorce but not an annulment may not marry again.  Marriage is a covenant made within the Church. The civil divorce dissolves the civil contract, but not the marriage covenant or sacrament.  A civilly divorced Catholic therefore cannot remarry in the Catholic Church.  If a civilly divorced Catholic were to marry before a judge or before another religious leader, the marriage would not be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church since the first marriage is permanent.

Marriage as a Sacrament -Since the Council of Trent in 1563, the Church has considered marriage a sacramental act that is a concrete sign of the advent salvation through Jesus Christ and a source of sanctifying grace. Marriage as an institution is universally accepted. This institution legitimizes the union between a man and a woman who are open to children and willing to accept the responsibility of educating them. -For Catholics marriage goes further…

 Marriage means two people entering a sacred history that began at baptism. As a married couple, they themselves become a community of faith and love, a sign of the love of Christ for his Church.  The sacrament of marriage is fundamentally and experience of faith. It repeatedly calls for trust and commitment.  The husband and wife are for each other and their children a sign of the love of the Lord.

Marriage is a sacramental covenant  The matrimonial bond establishes itself as part of a covenant, and unconditional promise between two persons and two wills.  The grace of the sacrament of marriage supports and strengthens the couple.  At the marriage celebration, the presider represents the entire Church community, but is not the one performing the marriage. The husband is the sacramental minister for his wife, and the wife is the sacramental minister for her husband.  To be considered valid, however, a marriage must meet 3 criteria: no impediments may exist, ecclesiastical law must be observed, and consent must be given and received before the Church.  The married couple, like the universal Church, constitutes a small Church whose mission is to express God in the world by offering it true love.

A spirituality of marriage  When fiances give each other their “I do” a part of their history has come to an end. The have given each other their word; this begins a new phase in their life. They have found their vocation. The options in life are narrowed to this one man and this one woman.

Conditions for a truly human and sacramental love  1) Freedom : The man and the woman are called upon to choose each other and to choose marriage without regard to social or emotional pressure, or institutional constraints.  2) Fidelity : Both partners must help each other to remain faithful to their love.  3 ) Permanence : Marriage is for life. Indissolubility is based on faith as an affirmation of self and of the other. It is based on a promise.  4 ) Fruitfulness : The culmination of a couple’s friuitfulness is the desire for and acceptance of children with all the attendant responsibilities of parenthood.