Bullying 411

What is Bullying?

What do you think? What do you know about bullying? What do you want to learn about bullying?

Bullying Definition… Repeatedly causing someone to feel stressed, humiliated or threatened in an effort to exert power or control over that person.

Types of Bullying… 5 categories of Bullying Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Relational Bullying (emotional/social) Cyber Bullying Sexual Bullying

Physical Bullying Repeated acts of physical aggression toward a person in order to assert power – hitting, pushing, spitting etc.

Verbal Bullying Repeated acts of verbal aggression toward a person in order to assert power or control- name calling, teasing or demeaning.

Relational Bullying Repeated acts of aggression in which someone attempts to manipulate or damage a peer by sabotaging their friendships in order to assert power or control - spreading rumors, hurtful gossip.

Cyber Bullying Using the Internet or other technologies to communicate words, images, language in an effort to purposely cause distress to another. – Facebook, You Tube, texts.

Sexual Bullying Any unwanted sexual advances or actions intended to make the other person uncomfortable, embarrassed or humiliated. It may include obscenities, gestures, exposure or physical contact.

What’s the Difference? Conflict Bullying A disagreement between two or more persons of equal power Bullying Repeatedly causing someone to feel stressed, humiliated or threatened in an effort to assert power or control over that person.

Conflict Bullying Equal Power- The students in the conflict are equals or equally matched Imbalance of Power- (big/small, older/younger, popular/unpopular, many vs. one) Can happen on one occasion Happens regularly Both parties are emotional Strong emotional reaction from the victim Problems resolve and parties may be friends again Parties involved are NOT friends Starts as an accident- not purposeful Purposeful targeting of one person by another person or group Parties aren’t afraid of each other Target/Victim feels in danger in some way

Criteria of Bullying Three criteria for an incident to be considered bullying: 1. Any behavior that is unwanted, offensive, threatening, insulting, causes discomfort or humiliation, or interferes with the student’s school performance which results in the victim feeling stressed, injured or threatened. 2. The behaviors are repeated. 3. There is an imbalance of power between the bully and the victim.

Think about it… Decide if the following scenarios meet all three criteria to be considered bullying, or if it is a conflict which should be worked out. If the scenario is an example of bullying identify the type of bullying being detected.

Bullying or Conflict? Every time Tyreek passes Isiah he bumps him and says, “Watch where you’re going, fresh meat!” All of Tyreek’s friends laugh. Isiah starts to skip school to avoid Tyreek. Mariah is mad because Stacey got lead in the school play. Mariah bad mouthed Stacey to their mutual friends until no one talks to Stacey at all. This has been going on for a week. Stacey is upset because no one will talk to her. Sally thinks Gina stole her boyfriend. She confronts Gina in PE. Gina starts taking off all her jewelry and tells Sally, “ Bring it on, if you think you can.” Toby sends Jennifer e-mails calling her horrible names and threatens to tell everyone at school that Courtney eats dog food because her family is so poor. He makes Courtney cry every day.

Dealing with Bullying

How should we respond to Bullying?

Get Thinking! Think about a time when you witnessed bullying and did nothing to stop it because you weren’t sure what to do. What feelings did you have as a bystander?

Who has the Power? Who has the most power in a bullying situation: the bully, the victim, or the person watching what is going on? Why do you think so?

You are correct! The person watching.

Bystander Someone who observers a bullying event.

Types of Bystander Sidekick – A bystander who actively joins in at the bully’s invitation. Usually is a friend of the bully. Reinforcer- A bystander who does not actively participate in the bullying but laughs or encourages the bully in some way (smiling, hanging around, comments, gestures). Onlooker- A bystander who does not support the bully but does nothing when others are bullied. This student does not want to get involved and may feel that bullying is none of his/her business. Defender- A bystander who tries to stop bulling while maintaining personal safety. May comfort the victim and get adult help if necessary.

A little food for thought: Most students are ONLOOKERS! They do not support the bullying, but they don’t get involved in helping the victim either. Why do you think students are reluctant to get involved?

Why students don’t get involved? They don’t know what to do or how to stop it. They are afraid that if they try something they may do something wrong and make the situation worse. They fear that if they intervene they may be next on the bully’s list for bullying. They think their friends may reject them if they reach out to someone who is an “outsider.”

How can a bystander help? Say what you feel. Tell the bully that you don’t like what they are doing. Tell a trusted adult. Report Bullying. When it isn’t safe to intervene alone, get help. Ask other friends to help. If it is beyond what you can do alone, ask friends to join you in helping the target. Having people close by can discourage bullying. Never leave the targeted person alone. It shows support and bullies are less likely to pick on someone if they are with others. Don’t encourage the bully. This means no laughing or smiling. Understand that you can make a difference. Put yourself in the victim’s shoes. Treat others like you would like to be treated.

Don’t Be a Target for Bullying! There is no way of telling who a bully is by how he/she looks. Bullies come in all shapes and disguises. Bullies bully in all different ways. Bullies all have one thing in common: they want to be powerful and in control. If you are being bullied, there are things you can do to help keep you safe and help you steer out of the bully’s way. The following tips will help:

How to avoid being a target: Stay with a group of friends Be friendly to others Join clubs or group activities Find things you do well Tell an adult you trust Learn friendship-making skills Walk with your head high and your shoulders back Avoid areas that are unsupervised

Remember… Kids who bully love to have power, and they use it to purposely to intimidate, hurt or harass others. They especially love it when their target gets upset, angry, scared or sad. That reaction makes them feel even more powerful. So don’t give it to them!

Report Bullying! Any student, parent or other interested party can report bullying. Bullying can be reported anonymously.

Reporting Vs. Snitching When a person tell something minor to an authority figure in hopes that it will get someone in trouble. Reporting When a person shares important information with an authority figure in order to prevent someone from being in danger or hurt.

Ways to report Bullying: Call the school and report via phone. Go to the school and talk to personnel in person.

More ways… Fill out a reporting form and turn it into the Main office or the guidance office. Drop a reporting form in your school’s bully box.

Reporting 411 When reporting bullying, make sure you have all of the facts: Who is being bullied? Who is the person(s) bullying? What happened? Where did it happen? When did it happen? How often does it happen? Names of students who saw it happen (if any)?

Think about it: Which reporting methods are you most comfortable using if you had to report bullying? Identify two adults who will listen to you if you ever need to report bullying.

To wrap it up… Finish this sentence: The most important thing about bullying that I learned today was ________________?