Fr. Jacob Ghaly

F.A.W.  FOCUS: What to focus on  AVOID: What to avoid  WATCH: What to watch for  Questions  Facts

What to Focus on  The character of your fiancé  Focus on your fiancé: make him/her your priority over your friends  Focus on the internal person of your fiancé and not on their outer appearance.  Focus on the in-laws: Keep a good relationship with the in-laws

What to Focus on  Commitment  Life with no separation  Love and compassion  Giving and forgiving  Providing to the other’s needs  Change for the better  In a righteous life

What to Focus  Is your fiancé your best friend?  Focus on being open with your fiancé  Focus on what your fiancé needs:  Women generally need love  men generally need respect

What to Avoid  Avoid focusing on just feelings and not character. Don’t be overwhelmed by feelings  Jealousy  Conveying negative messages from your own family to your fiancé  Avoid lying  Avoid an extremely short/ extremely long engagement periods

What to Avoid  Avoid relations based on financial gain  Avoid marriage in a very young age  Avoid marriage in extremely different social levels  Avoid being “cold” with your fiancé. Share your feelings.

What to Watch for  Make sure Christ is the center of the relationship; personally and for you together (Establish from the time of engagement spiritual intimacy. ex: prayer, reading the bible together, etc.)  Learn the weak points of your spouse and decide if you can live with them after marriage or not.

What to Watch for  Medical Check-up: It is mandatory in some dioceses now. In case of present illness prior to marriage, the spouse must sign saying they are aware.  Where is the relationship heading? Are you getting closer, or moving further apart  Watch the way your fiancé's family interacts with each other

What to Watch for  Watch for issues which MAY cause problems during the time of engagement such as:  Invitation cards/ list  Finance  Place of reception  Reception program/ food/ drinks  Selection of the wedding party (bridesmaids/ grooms men)  Favors  Clothes  Where the honeymoon will be

Questions  Shall I talk about my past with my fiancé?  What is the meaning of marriage?  Why do I want to get married?  Do you expect problems in your marital life?  Do you think your fiancé will fulfill the spiritual, financial, and cultural growth in your future marriage?  Are your parents happy with the relationship?

Questions  What is the age difference between you and your fiancé?  Do your trust your fiancé 100%?  Do you feel you can carry responsibility of being a parent?

Facts  There is NO marriage without conflicts  There is no perfect fiancé  Declaration of an engagement in the church is very important  No marriage is better than a broken marriage  Do not expect to change your spouse after marriage: What you see is what you will get  You and your fiancé should attend premarital counseling sessions before marriage