WA State 2011 Traumatic Brain Injury Conference Growing Through Grief Coming to terms with your Role as a Caregiver Dr. Nancy Reeves

Prevent burnout and compassion fatigue Burnout - doing too much Compassion Fatigue - giving too much compassion “feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by suffering or misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the pain or remove its cause.” Webster

Pain Research Dr. J. Osborn and Dr. S. Derbyshire U. of Birmingham Journal of the International Association for the Study of Pain Both groups showed increased activity in the area of the brain areas associated with emotion Felt-pain group showed more activity in the area of the brain that processes sensations from the body

You are what you “eat” So, don’t “eat” it Learn to “digest” effectively

Grieving Process Holistic, impacting emotions, mind, body, spirit 2 styles of grieving from Ken Doka Instrumental style - doesn’t need to talk much, does something productive and thinks about change and loss Intuitive style - helped by talking, showing emotion

Name and grieve the losses We grieve for meanings and implications of our change such as: intrapersonal - way of viewing self interpersonal - relationships with others financial change in role status change change in dreams and expectations impact on time

Healing vs Cure Cure - brain injury totally gone. Life the same as it was Healing - the focus is not completely on the brain injury life feels worth living you are able to access support you use inner resources you like yourself

Love Research Dopamine creates intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, and motivation to win rewards.Dr. Helen Fisher Long term romantic love promotes overall well-being, increased self- esteem, happiness, and satisfaction with the relationship. Drs. Acevedo & Aron, 2009 and others Lowers blood-pressure, promotes calmness, strengthens cognitive functioning. Dr. Scott Haltzman

Gratitude research Those who kept gratitude journals tended to exercise more regularly, focused less on physical symptoms, and felt more optimistic about the future More likely to progress towards goals Less interest in materialism Young adults had higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, and attentiveness Children have more positive attitudes towards school and family. reported by Drs. Emmons & McCullough

Expensive Emotions Anger – bitterness resentment hate vengeance Guilt – healthy to unhealthy Longing for healing – envy/jealousy Sadness – depression/despair

Energy Management Model

What qualities/gifts are within me that are not being used enough or at all? What personal dreams have not come to fruition? What expensive emotions are weighing me down? What attracts or interests me? What part of my life is particularly arid right now?

Develop Holistic Self-Care Strategies Emotional Physical Mental Spiritual Daily, periodic, times of great stress

Setting Limits Self-talk Rehearse Thought-stopping technique Gentle refusal 1. Paraphrase 2. Say ‘no’ 3. Give invitation

Other Self-Care Strategies Symbols - for comfort, support, guidance, strength etc Journalling - to clarify, to remember, to support