Goal Setting For Young Fathers Brad Hofmann NMGRADS Training October 2, 2014

#1 Predictor of Success DESIRE (not just willingness) to achieve well-defined goals Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Result Goals vs. Process Goals Result Goals are end points They are what people usually think of as goals Graduate from high school Become a teacher Get in shape Model positive relationships for my children Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Process Goals The means to the end – how to go about achieving the Result Goals Result Goal: Graduate from high school Process Goals: 1.Enter all assignments in weekly planner 2.Homework/study for 1 hour after school 4 weekdays per week 3.Face-to-face check-in with each teacher at least once every two weeks Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Process Goals THIS IS WHERE TO FOCUS CONCENTRATION AND ENERGY Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Advantages of Focus on Process Goals Focus is on actions/behavior, which can be controlled as opposed to results which can’t always be controlled Gain satisfaction, self-esteem and confidence from short-term progress and victories More able to overcome result failures and continue striving toward long-term Result Goals Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Tips and Tricks for Goal Setting 1. S – specific M – measurable A – attainable (but not too easy) R – relevant T – time-bound 2.Prioritize goals For example: A goal involving child safety would take priority over a goal to exercise 3 times a week. 3. Goals can be divided into short-term and long-term Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Tips and Tricks for Goal Setting (cont’d) 4.Goals are adjustable. They should never be a burden. 5.Keep goals visible. Daily viewing is best. 6.Reflect on goals consistently 7.Goals should be phrased with positive language – avoid negative language like don’t Example: Don’t stay out too late. Go to bed by 10 p.m. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Where do you come in? 1.Create an environment where fathers can choose and develop good, realistic Result Goals for themselves 2.Help fathers identify and formalize steps (Process Goals) necessary for them to achieve their Result Goals

Assisting with Result Goals 1.Individuals must develop and commit to their own goals - Assist by listening to the young father * Learn who he is * Learn what he wants * Learn what issues he is having 2. Build a good rapport first. Setting goals is very personal. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Assisting with Result Goals (cont’d) 3. Educate with information and discussion (24/7 Dads, Circle of Security) -What do good fathers do? -How were you parented? (What was/wasn’t helpful?) -How has a high school diploma helped other fathers? -What types of jobs match interests/skills? -How can a father work well with the child’s mother? * Provide the best available information without telling him what to do. Put him in a position to set good Result Goals for himself. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Assisting with Result Goals (cont’d) 4. Have them write down 1 Result Goal per category. [Self-care, Education, Career, Parenting, Relationships] - If possible, start with self-care * You can’t control your performance until you can control yourself. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Assisting with Result Goals (cont’d) 5. Never write goals for the young father If he doesn’t have any ideas of his own you can ask him if he’d like to hear what other fathers have tried. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Assisting with Process Goals 1.This is where we can give more direct input 2.Check that the father knows what needs to be done to achieve his Result Goals - Fill in knowledge gaps and correct any misunderstandings 3. Have the young father write 2 or 3 attainable Process Goals per Result Goal START SMALL  Success breeds success Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Assisting with Process Goals (cont’d) 4.Believe in the young father so that he develops enough confidence to take action on Process Goals 5.Have father set up time to review Process Goals regularly (Daily or Weekly) 6.Help father notice and celebrate small victories regarding Process Goals Example: 1 full week of daily hour after school homework/studying Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Goal Setting by Category Self-care Education Career Parenting Relationships Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Self-Care (Self-maintenance) Best place to start For many new dads, a stress management goal is vital Example – Result Goal: Keep stress level low throughout this semester – Process Goals: 1.Before bed, note overall stress level for day (Using scale) 2.Sleep at least 7 hours every night 3.Spend 30 minutes every day doing something that is important but not urgent Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Education Our goal is to have young fathers graduate Our job is to get them to want this for themselves and to have the confidence/courage to take action Example – Result Goal: Graduate from high school – Process Goals: 1.Enter all assignments in weekly planner 2.Homework/study for 1 hour after school 4 weekdays per week 3.Face-to-face check-in with each teacher at least once every two weeks Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Career Three important questions: – What do you like? – What are you good at? – What has meaning to you? Example – Result Goal: Obtain part-time employment in a field that could lead to a full-time career – Process Goals: 1. List potential fields 2.Create a resume and a cover letter that expresses interest in this area 3.Meet with school counselor to develop list of potential employer contacts Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Parenting Example – Result Goal: To be involved in my child’s life. – Process Goals: 1.Change at least 5 of my child’s diapers a week. 2.Read to my child at least 3 times a week. 3.Dress my child at least 3 mornings a week. Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Relationships Example – Result Goal: Communicate consistently and appropriately with the child’s mother. – Process Goals: 1.Set up at least one 20 minute session per week to talk (uninterrupted) with partner 2.Discuss issues/problems with partner only when able to be logical and objective rather than emotional (Stress level 5 or below) 3.Keep voice level and tone at a 5 on a scale of 1-10 (1= whisper, 10=yelling) Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014

Goal Setting Summary Individuals develop their own goals Our main role is to educate and empower for positive goal development Use Result Goals and Process Goals – Focus attention and energy mainly on Process Goals Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014