Coaching Skills John Oughton Centennial College

Today’s Learning Outcomes Recognize what coaching is, and is, not Understand foundations of coaching skills Reflect on and observe some principles Observe and analyze coaching demo Practice and observe mini coaching sessions

Coaching is Not the Same as: Teaching Advising Facilitating Counselling Mentoring

“Coaching is..not telling people what to do; it’s giving them a chance to examine what they are doing in the light of their intentions.” – James Flaherty

Coaching Uses listening, questions, reflection of coachee’s statements/feelings, and intuition to help coachee find own answers Assumes coachee already has the knowledge and skills necessary to solve own problems, make decisions and answer questions

Special types include Sports Career Life coaching Personal/professional development This is a general approach useful for many situations/relationships -- between peers, manager/staff, teacher-student relationships May be done effectively over phone or F2F

Benefits of Coaching Increases self-awareness ● Makes people more self-directed Promotes accountability and commitment Overcomes “dump and run” syndrome Increases organization morale, quality of communication

Coaching Traps Believing coaching is remedial Feeling need to be expert Being too directive Staying in problem-solving mode Pursuing your own agenda Lacking awareness of own beliefs/biases Not setting agenda and boundaries

COACHING FOUNDATIONS 1. Empathy: being able to communicate authentically what you hear and feel of another’s experience. Putting empathy into action: Reflect what you’ve heard, then ask question, empowering speaker to clarify

Coaching Foundation 2 Coachee has the answers Can find them even when convinced he/she can’t Coach asks questions to illuminate answers that may be hidden People are more satisfied/ compelled/ resourceful when using own answers

Foundation 3 Listening: being present with what other is saying without passing judgment Listening Levels: 1. Attention is on me (own goals are primary) 2. Attention is on coachee: no internal chatter, aware of other’s every word and nuance 3. Global listening: Attention is on space/energy around and between people, underlying moods and tones as well as words, gestures, body language, etc.

Foundation 4 Intuition: learn to recognize when own intuition is working (what does it feel like?) When you have a hunch about other’s feeling, perception, etc., blurt it out and then ask if that echoes anything for the coachee Even if not accurate, this may trigger a honest response about where coachee is

Foundation 5: Curiosity A way of discovering, focusing attention on a specific direction Helps others discover who they are, what’s important to them Use open or general questions, rather than specific, for self-exploration Specific question: what courses will you take? General question: what would you like to learn more about?

Foundation 6: Powerful Questions These put curiosity into action Usually no more than 7-8 words: “What’s stopping you?” Special types: Intruding: head off an-overly detailed answer or excursion with: What’s the payoff for you in that? What’s another way of looking at this? What value are you (not) honouring here? Inquiry: get the coachee thinking for a while (e.g. until next session): Could you look up some options and choose three to discuss next time?

Foundation 7: Acknowledgement & Championing Acknowledgement: recognizing (not judging) someone for who they are or who they are becoming, not only their actions -shows sincere interest in/respect for other; validates their experience Championing: expressing belief that people can overcome self-doubts or fears and accomplish something; articulates their full potential

Foundation 8: Accountability and Commitment Accountability: Asking coachee to account for achieving plans/intentions. Uses three questions: What are you going to do? By when will you do this? How will I know? Commitment: asking coachee’s agreement to follow through on action/reflection

The Saboteur Inner critic that stops us when we are thinking big and wanting to move forward Protects us and the status quo Some favourite sayings: “You can’t… You shouldn’t, mustn’t… This is the way it’s always been”

Career and Life Wheels Activity 1

In the Immortal Words of Coach.. Yogi Berra (New York Yankees): “You can observe a lot by just watching”

Coaching Demos Activity 1: 5-10 min. coaching demo Observers use feedback sheet Coach and coachee debrief

Coaching Practice Activity 2: in groups of three, take five-minute turns playing these roles: ● Coach ● Coachee ● Observer After each mini-coaching session, observer describes what he/she saw, then all switch roles

Coaching Certification Available through many organizations in Toronto, including: YWCA: Life Skills Coaching 1 and 2 OISE Adult Education and Counselling Psychology /Adler Institute: Professional Skills Coaching York University/Schulich Executive Education Centre: Certificate in Coaching Skills for Managers and Directors.