Eric – wheelie – impress the girls

Every day youth commit suicide, 3000 kids under age 13 have sexual intercourse for the first time 2400 cases of child abuse are reported 6000 households declare bankruptcy 68,000 people seek treatment for depression 2600 students drop out of high school 9600 students use marijuana 7400 students 15 and under experience oral sex 16,000 high school students have sexual intercourse 100,000 students bring guns to school, 80 teens are raped.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth age 15 to 19. It has tripled since "If present trends continue, 40% of today's 14 year old girls will be pregnant at least once before age 20." By age 13, guys who have never had sex are in the minority. Girls who are virgins are in the minority by age 15. For those ages 15-19, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death. Twice as many people die from suicide than from HIV/AIDS. For every two victims of homicide (murder) in the U.S. there are three suicide deaths. By age 18 - More than 1/3 of women and 1/7 of men have been sexually abused 25% of women have experienced attempted rape

Where do you fit into these statistics?

What don’t you like about the way you look? What don’t you like about your status at school (position, standing, rank) ? What don’t you like about your talents or abilities? What don’t you like about your past?

Identity What identifies somebody or something: who somebody is or what something is, especially the name somebody or something is known by

Ask yourself: WHO AM I?

So often we get our identity from What we do How much money we make How we look The car we drive Who our friends are How we are perceived by others How highly people think of us Who our parents or siblings are Our past mistakes Our skills in sports, the arts, club activities

Dear Diary, Who am I really? I ask myself that a lot. I never can seem to "fit in." Sometimes I do and most other times I don't. I ask myself too many times why am I here. I got off on the wrong foot I feel. I think that most kids at my school, taking my friends for example, think that I am still, still, well maybe just weird. I guess I’ve grown to live with people calling me weird. Do I fit in? Am I where I should be? Is this what I am supposed to call my life? Why was I born? What is my purpose? I still ask myself everyday while I cry and think and finally fall asleep, Who am I really? What is life really? By Anonymous. age -12, female

Your Identity Box I Am A Failure I Am Funny I Am A Basketball Player I Am Cool These things often change; Ultimately - they are rooted in selfishness I Am Tall I Am Average I Am Ugly I Am Dumb

THERE ARE SO MANY LIES WE HEAR (sometimes out loud, sometimes just in our head) You aren’t good enough You are a failure You should be so ashamed No one would love you if they really knew what you were like You are just a fake You will never amount to much You’re not special – you are average at best You aren’t good at anything Your body isn’t good enough You must work harder to earn love

ACCEPTANCE / BELONGING LOVE / SECURITY COMPETENCE / SIGNIFICANCE

What are some negative ways that many of us try to meet these needs? ACCEPTANCE / BELONGING Hang with the wrong crowd; Break your beliefs to fit in; gangs; right clothes, cars, etc… LOVE / SECURITY Sex; Boyfriend/girlfriend; lower standards for friendship; Brag; Live for sports; put others down; When we live for these things, we are always living in fear – that we could lose them

Often we try to meet these needs in any way possible Manipulation - make others feel guilty - so they’ll talk to us - we feel significant Act out for attention - breaking the law; being a jerk - whatever flips your switch Live to be the best - placing more importance on being top dog than on being friends Suppress feelings and desires Always Have A significant other Or We Hide Behind many walls – just hoping to mask the pain.

We often try to meet these needs in our friends 1.Our friends can’t meet all our needs all the time 2.Our friends have needs that need to be met 3.This is actually very selfish - Real love is unconditional - this is the opposite – “If you love and accept me, then I’ll do the same for you” = selfish Love = unconditionally choosing to seek the best for someone no matter what you might get out of it (including a punch in the nose) You will either (and both are selfishness – seeking your own glory – not loving) 1)Try to put yourself in a superior position 2)Feel inferior – ending up jealous or feeling sorry for yourself that someone else is above you

The enemy (devil) wants us to focus on 2 things for our identity. 1)What the world and others say of us 2)Our sin – telling us we are worthless – unlovable… Both of those leave us in defeat.

Apart from Jesus, who are we? What does the Bible say? Though we are made in God’s image – sin has marred that – and has made each of us deserving of only one thing. NIV Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Eph 2:3b we were by nature objects of (God’s) wrath. NIV Romans 3:10 As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one; 11 there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. 12 All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." Romans 6:23 The wages of sin is death… (hell – eternal separation from God)

Earning God’s Favor Often we do things for God, trying to EARN his favor, love, acceptance, and approval. When we sin, we frequently keep confessing the same sin over and over and keep feeling guilty – instead of trusting Him for His forgiveness – which is like calling God a liar. Often we wonder if God really accepts us our likes us – what does He think of us?

The Key is to Find our Identity in Christ

Does doing precede being, or being precede doing? Does who we are determine what we do, or does what we do determine who we are? Do you wear a skirt and so you are a girl, or are you a girl so you wear a skirt? (unless you are Scottish ) Lie – Liar Cheat – Cheater Helpful - Helper

Think about 3 things: Who are you (where do you get your identity / value from)? Think about how so much of all you do is driven by the desire to be accepted (belong), to be loved (security), and to be significant (competent) Think about - Does being precede doing (who I am determines what I do) or doing precede being (what I do determines who I am)?