Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC1 A ROADMAP FOR DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS “Seven Steps” Frank Carr Susan Shearouse Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC

2 Questions to Consider What makes a conversation difficult? How do we react to having a difficult conversation in the workplace? – Avoid – Confront

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC3 Seven Steps Set the Tone Listen to the Person Remain Calm Provide Feedback Express Empathy Consider the “ME” in the Problem Try Blending and Redirecting

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC4 Set the Tone Power Conflict – Escalation – Underestimate – Irrational Response Reduce Tension – Setting/Environment – Your Voice – Refreshments

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC5 Listen to the Person Apply Effect Listening – Hear the Words – Interpret the Body Language Acknowledge Cultural Differences – My Culture – Your Culture Recognize Interests – Individual Needs – External pressure

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC6 Remain Calm Recognize Emotions – Intent – Impact Deal with Anger – Verbal – Physical Reject Unacceptable Behavior – State Impact – Create an Agenda

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC7 Provide Feedback Reasons for Feedback – Understanding – Clarity – Completeness – Awareness Feedback Techniques – Paraphrasing – Questions – Summarize

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC8 Express Empathy What is it? – Sympathy – Empathy Am I comfortable with empathy? – Natural trait – Work at it How do I express it? – Acknowledgment

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC9 Consider the “ME” in the Problem Motivational Value System Working Styles – Driver – Analytic – Amiable – Hub Conflict Reaction – Attack – Withdrawal – Concede

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC10 Try Blending and Redirecting Neutralize the Behavior By “Blending” Seek a Constructive Path by “Redirecting”

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC11 Terms “Blending”: Reducing the differences between you and another in order to meet them where they are and move them to common ground. “Redirection”: Changing the direction of communications after blending.

Carr, Swanson and Randolph LLC12 Summary A difficult conversation is the one that you would rather avoid. I have to decide whether or not to have the difficult conversation. There are seven steps that can help me prepare for the difficult conversation.