VLT Practice Informational Essay Results PROMPT: Write an Essay comparing the story details of “My Life as a Bat” to those in the video/audio, “Fun Facts about Bats.”

Example of a Great Introduction Imagine, you slowly open your eyes and take a look around. While embracing the night life view you look down and see you no longer have long, slimming legs but small clawed feet instead. Looking to both your sides you discover a mighty pair of wings. You start to wonder, “What’s going on? What am I?” Out of the blue a group of bats, similar to you, fly by. Then it the idea hits you, you’re a bat. Some people deny the fact that reincarnation is real, however Margaret Atwood did not. In her short story “My Life as a Bat she discusses her experiences and ideals of living as a bat before she became human. Sharing factual events of her bat life and her general opinions on bats as a whole. The story details from Margaret’s short story “My life as Bat” are factual and relevant to those in the video/audio “Fun Facts about Bats.”

Example of a Great Introduction “My Life as a Bat” came off as frustrating and downright dumb. However, hiding inside this mixed up story are important facts about our flying mammal friends. Teaching us quite a bit about their diet, living conditions, and family orientation. One thing that was true about bats in the story is their diet. It was revealed that they eat insets and fruit by the narrator who claims to have eaten both in her “past life.” While the idea of past lives might be silly using this as an example provides excellent evidence to the truth of her claim.

Example of Nice Elaboration She knows so many details about bats, so it seems very possible that she was actually reincarnated from a bat. For example, she says that “The yuccas are in bloom, and I have been gorging myself on their juices and pollen.” My thought process is that a normal human being wouldn’t find yucca juices and pollen tasteful, so I do believe she is reincarnated or she is physically and mentally obsessed with bats. The video supports her claim because it informed us that bats eat fruits and/or drink nectar, so she wasn’t lying!

Example of Nice Elaboration Truthful facts are included throughout “My Life as a Bat” by Margaret Atwood. The narrator reiterates that bats use sonar to eat and move around. She refers to a bat’s sonar as “a supersonic hymn of praise…”. Atwood states that loud noises greatly interfere with her sonar. The narrator tells a story of trying desperately to reach a hole in the screen of a window to leave the rafters of a house as a man swats wildly at her. This, the narrator explains, disorients her and she may not be able to use her sonar to get out. This is all truthful. Bats have to use sonar, or echolocation to find food because bats are mostly blind, especially in the light. Another fact gleaned from this passage is that she is clinging tightly to the rafters; a place where bats commonly find refuge.

Example of Poor or No Elaboration “The yuccas are in bloom and I have been gorging myself on their juices and pollen.” Bats have a wide range of foods they eat. The group of micro-bats mostly eat small flying night bugs like mosquitoes, and moths. The mega bats mostly eat ripe fruit found in the rainforests. There are other bats that eat strange food such as frogs, fish scorpions, and plant nectar.

Example of Poor or No Elaboration From “My Life as a Bat,” I am heading home to my home cave… sound of water… moistness of new mushrooms.” From the audio clip of “Bat Facts,” it states that bats prefer to live in caves, attics, dead trees, and moist dark places. Most bats agree relatively small and can fly through the small to medium openings of caves and can live quite comfortably there.

Evaluate Your Essay Get your green VLT rubric from your portfolio. Examine your score. Why do you think you received this score?

Evaluate Your Essay Underline what you believe to be your thesis statement (controlling idea), which is the one statement that your paper works to support/prove throughout. If you don’t have one, don’t underline anything.

Evaluate Your Essay Using one color, highlight the introductory sentence(s) of your first body paragraph.

Evaluate Your Essay Underline the topic sentence in that paragraph. This might be the same as what you highlighted.

Evaluate Your Essay Using a second color, highlight the body sentences that work to prove/support that topic sentence. This should be your evidence and elaboration. If you have none, you should not highlight anything.

Evaluate Your Essay Using a third color, highlight your concluding sentence. If you don’t have one, you should not highlight anything.

Evaluate Your Essay Repeat steps 2-5 for each body paragraph thereafter.

Evaluate Your Essay If you have one, read over your conclusion. Underline the sentence that goes full circle back to your intro/thesis. If there is more than one, underline it. If you don’t have any, don’t underline anything.

Evaluate Your Essay Go back and circle any transition/transitional phrases you used to move from one idea to the next. If you don’t have any, don’t circle anything.

Evaluate Your Essay Did you answer the question being asked of you in the prompt? YES/NO Do you have a thesis statement? YES/NO Do your body paragraphs have the proper structure/organization (intro, body, and conclusion)? YES/NO If you said NO, what are you missing in your paragraphs?

Evaluate Your Essay Does your evidence support/prove your topic sentences? YES/NO Does your conclusion go full circle back to your intro/thesis? YES/NO Do you have transitions that help your reader move from one idea to the next? YES/NO If you have transitions, did you vary them (offer variety for your reader)? YES/NO

What will you do differently in your next informational essay What will you do differently in your next informational essay? What will you do the same? Explain, using complete sentences and thoughts.