Styles and Tactics Conflict Styles: are patterned responses, or clusters of behavior, that people use in conflict. Tactics: are individual moves people make to carry out their general approach. Styles describe the big picture, whereas tactics describe the specific communication moves of the big picture. A playbook= Style Each play= tactic

Tactics Tactics sound planned, but often are not. When you use a tactic numerous times, it becomes a style ( a patterned response).

Avoidance Tactics Denial and equivocation: Denial, or evasive remarks Topic management: Topic shifts, or topic avoidance. Noncommittal remarks: Statements that neither affirm or deny the presence of conflict. Irreverent remarks: Friendly joking strategic ambiguity“Let’s talk about it sometime,”or “I’ll be home late.” “Let’s not talk about my past relationship.” “What about my ex? What about yours?” “I’m not sure if I’m upset about that.” “Why do you always want to talk about our relationship? Who are you Dr. Phil?!”

Destructive Competition Tactics Personal Criticism: Criticizing personal characteristics, or behaviors. Rejection: Statements that reject the partner’s perspective. Hostile Imperatives, jokes, questions : Demands, threats, teasing sarcasm, leading questions. “I forgot, you’re always right!” Presumptive remarks: Assumptions about your partners thoughts and feelings. Denial of responsibility! “You’re so messy, irresponsible, etc.” “You’re so predictable, I knew you’d hate it.” “I feel so strongly that I don’t care what you think.”

Accommodation Tactics Giving up/giving in: “Have it your way.” Disengagement: “I don’t really care that much.” Denial of needs: “It’s OK. I can stay late and work.” Expression of desire for harmony: “It’s forgotten, don’t worry about it.”

Compromise Tactics Appeal to Fairness: “You got what you wanted last time.” Suggest a Trade-off: “I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine.” Quid pro quo Maximize wins/minimize losses: “I’ll give up the idea of going to my folks house for Christmas, if we go to Hawaii together. Offer a quick, short term solution: Let’s do it my way first, and and see if you like how it works.

Collaboration Tactics What are Collaboration Tactics? Give an example of each. (from your personal experience, preferably).

Write a dialogue (which can be from your own experiences, or fictional) with six exchanges that use tactics from your assigned style. After you finish, improve it by writing a dialogue that uses collaboration tactics.

In the following movie clip, which tactics are being used? Is there enough repetition that reveals a conflict style?