College Essay Tips AVID 12

Don’t Try to Impress Admissions’ Officers—Just tell the truth! Pick an activity and a lesson you learned from it… Example: “My two brothers and I work in a rotation around the house. One week, my job will be to clean the kitchen, my brother Durrell will clean the living room, and Devon will scrub the bathroom. It’s like a clock. The next Sunday, we’ll rotate jobs. And it’s not just straightening up; it’s cleaning up “spic and span” as my mother likes to call it. My day begins when football practice ends. At the end of the practice, when the coach yells, ‘Bring it up, Bring it up!,’ everyone claps and cheers as the whistles blow. My teammates are happy because the practice is over. But when I jog into the huddle tired from all of the hard work, my mind isn’t on how tired I am. I’m thinking, ‘Man, I have to clean the bathroom when I get home.’”

You have to own your stories: an essay that’s yours and no one else’s. Rare  something amazing that no one else has. Example: “After my father went to prison, my mother began to better herself in many different ways. She went to work every morning after dropping my brother and I off at school. She worked until four o’clock in the afternoon and then proceeded by picking my brother and I up from our after school programs. She would take us home, cook us dinner, and be headed to nursing school from 5:30 to 9:30. She’d get home at around 10:30 each night. Then, she would get up the next morning and repeat the cycle, Monday through Friday. Today, my mother is a nurse. It was a difficult task to overcome by being so active and still maintaining a family environment, but that’s what makes her a phenomenal woman.”

Do NOT repeat information from the rest of your application! Either pick something you haven’t mentioned or something you have mentioned but tell a part of it that you haven’t shared. Example: “Before I ran for Student Body President, our students were not involved. They didn’t care about activities we held. We once had a dance-off with only three contestants even though there are over 6000 students at our school. I was tired of listening to people complain. I was tired of not being proud of my school. I wanted to try to do something about it, so I ran for president. I’ll never forget when Mr. Cooper, my leadership teacher, pulled me out of my class and told me, ‘Congratulations, you are the new Student Body President!’ I was so excited that I started having ideas for what I thought students would enjoy. Our first was the water balloon toss. We had over thirty teams participate. It seemed like half the school came out to watch. Next semester, we’re planning to have dances and other educational activities that students can have a blast with.”

Use your own voice and language! But don’t use slang! Example: “My mom has a picture in a photo album at home. When I asked where it was taken, she told me it was our house when we lived in Ohio. Wow, I was surprised. Every time I look at the picture it’s like a before and after commercial. There were clothes everywhere, with books and newspapers stacked all over the place. It was a mess. It looked like kids ran the house (at times we probably did). Now, my house would never look like that. My mother, our house, and I have changed a lot since then.”

Avoid Clichés Overused Topic + Overused Lesson=McEssay Examples of college essay clichés: Soccer taught me the value of hard work and commitment. When I participated in a community service project, I learned that it’s important to help people. My leadership position taught me to work well with others (“teamwork is important” also falls into this category.

General Tips Find your best story; something about yourself that you’re the most excited Then see where does this story fit with the prompt? Read prompt carefully and answer all parts. Whatever you write about, how are you going to bring it to the university—how does it benefit the college, what will they get from you? Clarity is the MOST important—too many essays to read for admission readers to figure it out.

DON’T….. Repeat yourself! Write on general, impersonal topics, i.e. nuclear arms race, importance of business, etc. Use the college to excuse your shortcomings; this only brings attention to them. Use clichés Go to extremes, trying to be too witty, too intelligent, etc. Plagiarize; kiss college goodbye if you do this. You’re turning it in electronically so it’s being checked!