James D. Hess, Ed.D. Chair OSU School of Healthcare Administration

 A competitive or opposing action of incompatibles  Antagonistic state or action  Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes or demands  The opposition of persons or forces that give rise to dramatic action  Fight, battle, war  Basically: a disagreement

 A disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns.  Key elements: ◦ Disagreement ◦ Parties involved ◦ Perceived threat ◦ Needs, interests or concerns ◦ Power

 Perceived threat to one’s well-being or interests  Response is based on the person’s perceptions and/or feelings about the situation (not objective review of it)  Conflicts contain substantive, procedural, and psychological dimensions  To a large degree, conflicts are predictable and expectable situations that naturally arise  Creative problem-solving strategies are essential

Consider either your workplace or a relationship and think about the following:  What are some key sources of conflict in your workplace and/or relationship?  When do they tend to occur?  How do people respond to these conflicts as they arise?  When you solve problems, do you do so for the moment, or do you put in place systems for addressing these types of concerns in the future?

 In smaller work groups and in personal settings: Ongoing conflicts are rarely about the issue … It is almost always about the relationship.

 Competing  Harmonizing or Accommodating  Avoiding  Compromising  Collaborating Which is your conflict resolution style?

 Competing ◦ Authoritarian approach ◦ Relies on aggressive communication -low regard for relationships; low level of trust ◦ Pros – Goal oriented, quick ◦ Cons – May breed hostility  Descriptors  I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view.  I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows  I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right

 Harmonizing or Accommodating ◦ Giving in to maintain relationships ◦ One’s needs are yielded to others’ needs; preserving the relationship is most important ◦ Pros – Minimizes injury when we are outmatched ◦ Cons – Breeds resentment; exploits the weak  Descriptors  I try to meet the expectations of others  I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family  I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to pay for keeping the peace

 Avoiding ◦ Non-confrontational approach ◦ If we ignore it, it will go away; instead, conflict festers ◦ Pros – Does not escalate conflict; postpones difficulty ◦ Cons – Unaddressed problems; issues unresolved  Descriptors  When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as possible  Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious  I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself

 Compromising ◦ The middle ground approach ◦ Series of tradeoffs; satisfactory but not satisfying ◦ Pros – Useful in complex situations without simple solutions; all parties have equal power ◦ Cons – No one is ever clearly satisfied; less than optimal solutions are usually implemented  Descriptors  I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations  I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on  To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway

 Collaborating ◦ Problems are resolved in which the optimal results are attained; Both parties get what they want and negative feelings are minimized ◦ Pooling of individual needs and goals toward a common goal; “win-win” ◦ Pros – Creates trust; maintains positive relationships ◦ Cons – Time consuming; lots of energy expended  Descriptors ◦ I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone’s needs ◦ I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What does the other person need?

 Emotional responses ◦ Feelings we experience in conflict - Range from anger and fear to despair and confusion  Cognitive responses ◦ Our ideas and thoughts about conflict such as the “inner voice” or internal observations we have  Physical responses ◦ Include such responses heightened stress, bodily tension, increased perspiration, shallow or accelerated breathing, nausea, and rapid heartbeat ◦ Stress management techniques needed

Keep in mind that each party involved in the conflict may have a different perception of the situation, and part of this difference may be due to:  Culture, race, religion and/or ethnicity  Gender differences  Knowledge (general and situational)  Impressions of the messenger  Previous experiences – with this party and others

 Make sure that good relationships are the first priority  Keep people and problems separate  Pay attention to the interests that are being presented  Listen first: talk second.  Set out the “Facts.”  Explore options together.

Step 1:  Know thyself and take care of thyself  Understand your perceptual filters, biases, and triggers  Create a personally affirming environment (eat, sleep, exercise)

Step 2 :  Clarify personal needs threatened by a dispute  Substantive, procedural and psychological needs  Look at BATNA, WATNA, and MLANTA

 BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement  WATNA: Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement  MLANTA: Most Likely Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement  Identify desired outcomes from a negotiated process

Step 3 :  Identify a safe place for negotiation  Appropriate place for discussion/private and neutral  Mutual consent to negotiate/appropriate time  Role of support people (facilitators, mediators, advocates), as needed  Agreement to ground rules

1) One person speaks at a time 2) We will make a sincere commitment to listen to one another, to try to understand the other person's point of view before responding. 3) What we discuss together will be kept in confidence, unless there is explicit agreement regarding who needs to know further information.

5) We agree to talk directly with the person with whom there are concerns, and not seek to involve others in "gossip" or "alliance building.“ 6) We agree to try our hardest and trust that others are doing the same within the group. 7) We will support the expression of dissent in a harassment free workplace. 8) We agree to attack the issues, not the people with whom we disagree.

Step 4:  Take a listening stance into the interaction  Seek first to understand, then to be understood  Use active listening skills: ◦ Take a breath ◦ Remove distractions as much as possible ◦ Sit or face the other person directly with an open posture ◦ Focus on listening as your first priority

Step 5:  Assert your needs clearly and specifically  Use “I” messages as tools for clarification  Build from what you have heard – continue to listen well  Remain open  Remain flexible

Step 6:  Approach problem-solving with flexibility  Identify issues clearly and concisely  Brainstorm – or generate options – while deferring judgment  Be open to problem definitions  Clarify criteria for decision-making

Step 7:  Manage an impasse calmly, patiently and respectfully  Clarify feelings  Focus on underlying needs, interests and concerns  Caucus, if appropriate

Step 8:  Build an agreement that works  Is the agreement fair? Balanced? Realistic?  Implement and evaluate

 When you feel conflict coming, pause for a moment to reflect on your style and that of the other person  Set the stage from the beginning to allow for conflict resolution to occur – deescalate the emotions  Establish a consistent pattern of how conflicts will be resolved with the other person ◦ Humans are creatures of habit. Learn from experience  There is life after the conflict. Act accordingly