Chapter 2 Summary of Concepts

Positive-Negative cycles of self-esteem (evaluations of self worth) High self-esteem Positive thoughts “I can do it!” Desirable behavior Positive thoughts “I did well!”

Positive-Negative cycles of self-esteem (evaluations of self worth) Low self-esteem Negative thoughts “I can’t do it!” Undesirable behavior Negative thoughts “I failed again”

“Who you are” is determined through BIOLOGICAL and SOCIAL roots Part of “who you are” is genetic, inherited traits. (biological) Part of “who you are” has developed through your interactions with others. (socially)

Influences on self-concept: (#1) Reflected Appraisal Our self concept is based on how we THINK others see us. Does this mean it’s accurate? Imagine getting scolded by a teacher… “Everyone thinks I’m a dolt!” “Most people are feeling sympathetic to me” “That girl over there thinks I’m cool for ‘taking one for the team’”

Influences on self-concept: (#2) Significant Others People whose opinions we especially value Family members Friends Teachers An acquaintance who left an imprint

Influences on self-concept: (#3) Social Comparison Am I… Superior? Inferior? Alike? Different?

Influences on self-concept: (#4) Reference Groups Which groups do we choose to compare ourselves to? What significance do we attach to the reference groups?

After Age 30… Self-concept doesn’t change much without a conscious effort.

Characteristics of self-concept: (#1) Self-concept is subjective “Subjective” means “based on personal feelings rather than facts” Distortions Obsolete information (no longer true) Distorted feedback (“bad” information) Perfection (unrealistic comparison)

Characteristics of self-concept: (#2) Self-concept resists change “Cognitive conservatism” means paying attention to information that reinforces our current belief. We seek out people who reinforce our perception of ourselves. (People with low self-esteem are likely to interact with those who view them unfavorably.)

Culture and Identity America is a highly individualistic culture. China is a collective culture (people gain identity by belonging to a group) In Chinese, the word “I” is similar to the word “selfish.” In some societies reticence (quietness) is valued.

Gender and Identity Who would you be if you were of the opposite sex?

Gender and Identity Society’s expectations of gender roles can impact self-esteem “Little girls are more likely to be reinforced for acting ‘sweet’ than are little boys.” (p. 58) My son is sensitive and introspective. Society has not always rewarded this.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Holding an expectation (for yourself or for others) Behaving in accordance with that expectation The expectation coming to pass Reinforcing the original expectation

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Expecting to be ignored at lunch Staring at your tray, not talking to anyone. You are ignored! You think of yourself as unlikeable

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Expecting to be included at lunch Looking up, smiling, starting a conversation You are included! You think of yourself as liked

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Expecting to have difficulty talking to Mr. Croghan Scowling, rolling your eyes, thinking negatively Tense, difficult discussion You think of yourself as unable to communicate successfully with authorities

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Expecting your classmates to like you Offering help, smiling, inviting them to join you Classmates respond well to you You think of yourself as likeable and successful among your classmates

Self-fulfilling Prophecy and Communication – Write your own! Expecting… Behaving… Expectation comes to pass… Expectation reinforced…

CHANGING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT! 1) Have REALISTIC PERCEPTION HAVE you been receiving “prickly” or “fuzzy” messages? Consider homemakers who return to college (p.61) HAVE you received excessively negative feedback?

CHANGING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT! 2) Have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS Remember the stages of learning a new skill! It takes practice to analyze the factors influencing your self-concept. It takes practice to use POSITIVE self-fulfilling prophecy. It takes effort to surround yourself with people who will help you change your self-concept.

CHANGING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT! 3) Have the WILL to change! Activity (page 63) Reevaluating Your “Cant’s” Think of 3 “can’ts” in your communication: I can’t ask __________ for help. I can’t tell _____________ how I feel. I can’t express ____________very well.

CHANGING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT! 3) Have the WILL to change! Activity (page 63) Reevaluating Your “Cant’s” Consider replacing “can’t” with “won’t”: I won’t ask __________ for help. I won’t tell _____________ how I feel. I won’t express ____________very well. Does that change the way you look at “can’t?

CHANGING YOUR SELF-CONCEPT! 3) Have the SKILL to change! SEEK knowledge (like this class) Observe models (people who handle themselves in ways you would like to master) Become a careful observer; adapt successful behavior to fit your style Don’t give up easily!

Presenting the Self: Communication as Identity Management IM? “Communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them.”

Presenting the Self: Public and Private Selves “Perceived self” is the person we believe ourselves to be in moments of honest examination.

Presenting the Self: Public and Private Selves “Presenting self” is a public image—the way we want others to view us. (Dan on cell phone example.)

Presenting the Self: Characteristics of IM We strive to construct multiple identities. This is an element of communication competence. Language will reflect your choice of presenting yourself.

Presenting the Self: Characteristics of IM IM is collaborative (involving others) Our “identity” is created through interactions with others

Presenting the Self: Characteristics of IM IM can be deliberate or unconscious Job interviews Self at home

Presenting the Self: Characteristics of IM IM varies by situation First days of school Getting to know someone

Presenting the Self: WHY MANAGE IDENTITIES? To start and maintain relationships “Best side” vs. “Phony”

Presenting the Self: WHY MANAGE IDENTITIES? To gain compliance of others To get others to behave (respond to us) in certain ways Dress for success (?)

Presenting the Self: WHY MANAGE IDENTITIES? To save face of others Politeness Restrain impulses that might make others uncomfortable

Presenting the Self: HOW DO WE MANAGE IDENTITIES? Face-to-face Impression Management Manner (words and nonverbal actions) Appearance (what you “announce” through dress and personal items) Setting (car, home, locker) Professor at college example

Presenting the Self: Identity Management in CMC CMC offers more control than face-to-face impression management Instant Messaging Broadcasting

Presenting the Self: Identity Management in CMC Because CMC offers more control than face-to-face impression management Easy to present false self Preferred when self-presentation is threatened

Presenting the Self: Identity Management & HONESTY Managing identities does not make you a liar. We are always making decisions about our presentation.

Presenting the Self: Identity Management & HONESTY Each of us has a “cast of characters” There are multiple HONEST ways to respond to situations.

Presenting the Self: Identity Management & HONESTY Someone says something unkind about your friend. What are possible HONEST ways to respond? Which identity does your response promote? As a calm peacemaker As an angry fighter As a loyal friend As a brave non-fighter

Presenting the Self: Identity Management & HONESTY Your teacher embarrasses you in class. What are possible HONEST ways to respond? Which identity does your response promote? With anger With humor Privately after class With silent acceptance With a polite statement of your feelings

Presenting the Self: Identity Management & HONESTY You don’t agree with your boss. What are some possible HONEST responses? What “identity” does each response promote? Saying nothing; choosing not to respond. Politely stating your disagreement. Rolling your eyes; later telling a friend about it. Stating your disagreement forcefully.