Creating a Sensual Lifestyle Dr. Marlene Wasserman Creating a Sensual Lifestyle Sexual Health Centre Suite 504, The Equinox 154 Main Road, Sea Point Tel: 021 439 4004 www.dreve.co.za

AFRICAN GENDER INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN YOUNG WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP PROJECT ON SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH RIGHTS AFRICAN GENDER INSTITUTE UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN

TREATMENT CONTRACT FOR GROUP MEMBERS SEXUAL GROWTH GROUP TREATMENT CONTRACT FOR GROUP MEMBERS Members are expected to attend every session. Group discussions are confidential. No one Member is to use any identifying information about another group Member outside of the group. The group is for personal sharing. All ideas are valid and differences are acceptable. Sharing in the group is encouraged. This way Members will contribute suggestions and solutions to each other’s problems. Try to stay in the “here and how”. Please try to share your personal feelings and not make vague statements. You may find that sharing your feelings will give permission for others to share their feelings. Please try to use “I” statements. Members are required to work on assigned tasks between group meetings. Members will participate actively in role-playing and other educational experiential exercises. 11. Touching of members is not allowed. If you wish to comfort, hug, embrace a member, permission must be requested and received. SIGNATURE DATE

CONFIDENTIALITY RESPECT NON JUDGEMENTAL

BRIEF SEXUAL ATTITUDES SCALE Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about sex. For each statement fill in the response on the answer sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement. Some of the items refer to a specific sexual relationship, while others refer to general attitudes and beliefs about sex. Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone, answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never had a sexual relationship, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.   For each statement: A = Strongly agree with statement B = Moderately agree with the statement C = Neutral - neither agree nor disagree D = Moderately disagree with the statement E = Strongly disagree with the statement 1. I do not need to be committed to a person to have sex with him/her. 2. Casual sex is acceptable. 3. I would like to have sex with many partners. 4. One-night stands are sometimes very enjoyable. 5. It is okay to have ongoing sexual relationships with more than one person at a time. 6. Sex as a simple exchange of favors is okay if both people agree to it. 7. The best sex is with no strings attached.

8. Life would have fewer problems if people could have sex more freely.   9. It is possible to enjoy sex with a person and not like that person very much. 10. It is okay for sex to be just good physical release. 11. Birth control is part of responsible sexuality. 12. A woman should share responsibility for birth control. 13. A man should share responsibility for birth control. 14. Sex is the closest form of communication between two people. 15. A sexual encounter between two people deeply in love is the ultimate human interaction. 16. At its best, sex seems to be the merging of two souls. 17. Sex is a very important part of life. 18. Sex is usually an intensive, almost overwhelming experience. 19. Sex is best when you let yourself go and focus on your own pleasure. 20. Sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.

21. The main purpose of sex is to enjoy oneself.   22. Sex is primarily physical. 23. Sex is primarily a bodily function, like eating. ________________________________________________________________________ Note. The BSAS includes the instructions shown at the top. The items are given in the order shown. The BSAS is usually part of a battery with items numbered consecutively. For purposes of analyses, we have A=1 and E=5. (The scoring may be reversed, so that A = strongly disagree, etc.) A participant receives four subscale scores, based on the mean score for a particular subscale (i.e., we add up the 10 items on Permissiveness and divide by 10). An overall scale score is really not useful. Items Scoring Key 1-10 Permissiveness Birth Control Communion Instrumentality

EXPECTATIONS OF WORKSHOP

THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME UNIQUE…

SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS Sex refers to the biological characteristics that define humans as female or male. While these sets of biological characteristics are not mutually exclusive, as there are individuals who possess both, they tend to differentiate humans as males and females. In general use in many languages, the term sex is often used to mean “sexual activity”, but for technical purposes in the context of sexuality and sexual health discussions, the above definition is preferred.

SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS SEX HEALTH According to the current working definition, sexual health is: “…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”  (WHO, 2006a)

SEX, GENDER, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL HEALTH AND SEXUAL RIGHTS Sexual health cannot be defined, understood or made operational without a broad consideration of sexuality, which underlies important behaviors and outcomes related to sexual health. The working definition of sexuality is: “…a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.”  (WHO, 2006a)

WAS DECLARATION OF SEXUAL RIGHTS In recognition that sexual rights are essential for the achievement of the highest attainable standard of sexual health, the World Association for Sexual Health: STATES that sexual rights are grounded in universal human rights that are already recognized in international and regional human rights documents, in national constitutions and laws, human rights standards and principles, and in scientific knowledge related to human sexuality and sexual health. REAFFIRMS that sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy, and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles, and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal, historical, religious, and spiritual factors. RECOGNIZES that sexuality is a source of pleasure and wellbeing and contributes to overall fulfillment and satisfaction. REAFFIRMS that sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. REAFFIRMS that sexual health cannot be defined, understood or made operational without a broad understanding of sexuality. REAFFIRMS that for sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled. RECOGNIZES that sexual rights are based on the inherent freedom, dignity, and equality of all human beings and include a commitment to protection from harm. STATES that equality and non-discrimination are foundational to all human rights protection and promotion and include the prohibition of any distinction, exclusion or restriction on the basis of race, ethnicity, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status, including disability, age, nationality, marital and family status, sexual orientation and gender identity, health status, place of residence, economic and social situation. RECOGNIZES that persons’ sexual orientations, gender identities, gender expressions and bodily diversities require human rights protection. RECOGNIZES that all types of violence, harassment, discrimination, exclusion, and stigmatization are violations of human rights, and impact the wellbeing of individuals, families and communities. AFFIRMS that the obligations to respect, protect and fulfill human rights apply to all sexual rights and freedoms. AFFIRMS that sexual rights protect all people's rights to fulfill and express their sexuality and enjoy sexual health, with due regard for the rights of others.

WAS DECLARATION OF SEXUAL RIGHTS Sexual rights are human rights pertaining to sexuality:   1. The right to life, liberty, and security of the person. 2. The right to equality and non-discrimination. 3. The right to autonomy and bodily integrity. 4. The right to be free from torture and cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment. 5. The right to be free from all forms of violence and coercion. 6. The right to the freedom of thought, opinion, and expression. 7. The right to privacy. The right to the highest attainable standard of health, including sexual health; which implies the possibility of having pleasurable, satisfying, and safe sexual experiences. The right to enjoy the benefits of scientific progress and its application. 10. The right to information. The right to education and the right to comprehensive sexuality education. The right to enter, form, and dissolve marriage and other types of relationships based on equality and full and free consent. The right to decide whether to have children, the number and spacing of children, and to have the information and the means to do so.  The right to access to justice, remedies, and redress. The right to freedom of association and peaceful assembly. 16. The right to participation in public and political life.

SEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP SCRIPTS: GET INTO FOCUS GROUPS OF 5 WHOSE RULE IS THIS? GET INTO FOCUS GROUPS OF 5 THERE ARE THE MESSAGE I RECEIVED FROM: RELIGION CULTURE FAMILY PEERS EDUCATORS MEDIA MY OWN EXPERIENCES

SEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP SCRIPTS: WHOSE RULE IS THIS?

GENDER SCRIPTS: WHOSE RULE IS THIS?

SEXUAL ORIENTATION / FLUIDITY

TURN TO PERSON YOU DO NOT KNOW AND DISCUSS YOUR BODY THIS IS MY BODY TURN TO PERSON YOU DO NOT KNOW AND DISCUSS YOUR BODY THIS PLEASES ME … THIS DISPLEASES ME… THIS INHIBITS ME SEXUALLY

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES IF YOUR VAGINA COULD SPEAK, WHAT WOULD IT SAY? IF YOUR VAGINA GOT DRESSED UP, WHAT WOULD IT WEAR?

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES

HIV/AIDS/STI’s

CONDOM NEGATIVES AND POSITIVES

LET’S NEGOTIATE CONDOM USE FIND A PERSON YOU KNOW LEAST WELL HALF THE ROOM ,NEGOTIATE USING A CONDOM WITH NEW PERSON HALF THE ROOM, NEGOTIATE USING A CONDOM WITH A REGULAR PARTNER

CONTRACEPTIVE CHOICES CONTRACEPTIVE POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES

DRUGS, SEX & ROCK ‘N ROLL

COMPLETE THE SENTENCE: “THE IMPACT OF ALCOHOL AND DRUGS ON MY SEXUALITY ARE…”

IS THIS LOVE OR LUST?

DEFINITION OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY LOVE… CONUNDRUM OF HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY LOVE He says “I love you” after the first few dates He says he ‘ll call you back and does – a few days later He sexts your best friend He refuses to wear a condom She refuses o use a sex toy with you even though she knows you enjoy this He watches porn even though you feel uncomfortable with it You are both volatile, he pushes you around .. a little.. He’s jealous and possessive. It feels great .. you feel well loved Has rough sex with you Insists on certain kinds of sexual activity Gets angry when you refuse and forces you anyway

HONESTY/TRUST/RESPECT IS THIS LOVE OR LUST? COMMITMENT MONOGAMY FIDELITY FRIENDLSHIP PASSION COMMITMENT HONESTY/TRUST/RESPECT

SOCIAL MEDIA GET INTO FOCUS GROUPS OF 4 PEOPLE DISCUSS HOW SOCIAL MEDIA HAS POTENTIAL TO BE BENEFICIAL AND HARMFUL TO YOUNG PEOPLE’S SEXUALITY AND RELATIONSHIPS.  

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION