5. Understanding Others

3 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Others  A central goal of understanding yourself is to develop a sense of awareness that can result in true community and common purpose with others.  Three central questions to ask yourself in any setting:  How am I like no one else here?  How am I like some others here?  How am I like everyone here?

4 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Chapter Overview  Explore various personal characteristics that illustrate how difference needs to be understood to be inclusive and empowering.  Explore various leadership processes that are influenced by diverse approaches.  Discuss communication skills that are useful in effectively working with others.

5 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Individuality and Commonality  As humans, we are more alike than we are different.  Finding common purpose is the focus on which to center our perceptions of difference.  In group settings, we need to keep in mind how members are similar and different. To consider one but not the other is incomplete and can be a disservice.

6 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Individuality and Commonality  The focus on the individual (I) needs to be deemphasized (i) to truly listen and engage with another (you) as equals, so that we all can move forward to become a community (we). “I”  “i”  “we” “you”

7 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Gender Diversity  How does my gender influence my attitudes and behaviors?  How does my experience as a man or woman shape my worldview and how might it shape the worldview of others?

8 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Gender Diversity  Sex Roles: expectations resulting from biology, like pregnancy or muscle mass  Gender Roles: socially constructed expectations that get labeled masculine or feminine  Gender roles are often limiting and inaccurate when assigned to individual men and women.  Example: Although, only women can bear children, women are not the only sex to be nurturing of children.

9 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Gender Diversity “Both men and women are capable of making good decisions, leading effectively, being responsible group members and communicating with clarity, but they may go about doing those things differently than the other sex would.”

10 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Cultural Diversity Culture is: An integrated pattern of human behavior that includes thoughts, communications, languages, practices, beliefs, values, customs, courtesies, rituals, manners of interacting and roles, relationships and expected behaviors of a racial, ethnic, religious or social group; and the ability to transmit the above to succeeding generations. (National Center for Cultural Competence of Georgetown University—

11 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Cultural Diversity  Effective leaders need to develop an appreciation for multiculturalism to build inclusiveness, collaboration, and common purposes.  A prerequisite to developing a greater sense of multiculturalism is the conscious awareness of culturally informed assumptions.

12 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Race  Race is a “somewhat suspect concept used to identify large groups of the human species who share a more or less distinctive combination of hereditary physical characteristics.”  Race has been used to marginalize whole groups of people, and students on campuses experience racism every day.

13 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Relational Leadership Model  Emphasis on inclusion and empowerment, embraces the belief that the group, team, organization, community, nation, and world will be made better when all participants are heard, made visible and valued for their contributions.

14 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Understanding Cultural Diversity  Historically dominant culture has not had to examine its beliefs and practices because it is not disadvantaged by them.  Majority norms often become the standards used to judge others who are not in the majority.

15 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. White Privilege  Provisions that help White people travel through life more easily  Benefits of White privilege include:  Shopping without being followed  Being able to buy or rent housing of their choice  Easily finding toys and pictures that look like themselves

16 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Privilege and Oppression  Think of the privileges afforded to any of us in a powerful “majority” and examine closely how unconsciously affirming the privileges associated with those characteristics may actually cause or influence the oppression of others, even if oppression is unintended.

17 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Intercultural Competence A few things we know about intercultural competence:  Cultural knowledge does not necessarily lead to competence.  Cultural contact does not necessarily lead to competence.  Cultural contact may lead to reduction of stereotypes.  Language learning may not be sufficient for culture learning. Bennett, M. J. (rev. 2011). A developmental model of Intercultural Sensitivity. Retrieved from IDR Institute website (pdf).

18 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Intercultural Competence What does lead to intercultural competence?  Intentional and developmentally sequenced program design.  Balancing challenge and support; anxiety reduction.  Facilitating learning before, during, and after intercultural experiences.  Depth of intercultural experiences, language immersion.  Intercultural competence training.  Cultivating curiosity and cognitive flexibility. Bennett, M. J. (rev. 2011). A developmental model of Intercultural Sensitivity. Retrieved from IDR Institute website (pdf).

19 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity  Stage One―Denial of Difference  Stage Two―Defense against Difference  Stage Three―Minimization of Difference  Stage Four―Acceptance of Difference  Stage Five―Adaptation to Difference  Stage Six―Integration of Difference Bennett, M. J. (rev. 2011). A developmental model of Intercultural Sensitivity. Retrieved from IDR Institute website (pdf).

20 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Negative Levels of Attitudes RepulsionViews people who are different as strange, sick, crazy, and aversive. Views anything that will change them to be more “normal” or part of the mainstream as justifiable. PityViews people who are different as somehow born that way and feels that that is pitiful. Sees being different as definitely immature and less preferred, so to help those poor individuals one should reinforce normal behaviors. ToleranceSees being different as just a phase of development that most people “grow out” of. Thus one should protect and tolerate those who are different as one does a child who is still learning. AcceptanceImplies that one needs to make accommodations for another’s differences; does not acknowledge that the other’s identity may be of the same value as one’s own. The Riddle Scale: Attitudes Towards Differences

21 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Positive Levels of Attitudes SupportWorks to safeguard the rights of those who are different. One may be uncomfortable oneself but one is aware of the climate and the irrational unfairness in our society. AdmirationAcknowledges that being different in our society takes strength. One is willing to truly look at oneself and work on one’s own personal biases. AppreciationValues the diversity of people and is willing to confront insensitive attitudes. NurturanceAssumes the differences in people are indispensable in society. Views differences with genuine affection and delight and is willing to be an advocate of those differences. Source: Adapted from Leppo and Lustgraaf (1987). Copyright by John Leppo. Adapted with permission from Dorothy Riddle, “Scale for Homophobia,” unpublished document. The Riddle Scale: Attitudes Towards Differences

22 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Microaggressions  Defined as “brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership.”  Microinsults (often unconscious)― “Communications that convey rudeness and insensitivity and demean a person’s racial heritage.”  Microassaults (often conscious)― “Explicit racial derogations characterized primarily by a violent verbal, nonverbal or environmental attack meant to hurt the intended victim through name-calling, avoidant behavior, or purposeful discriminatory actions.”

23 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Conflict Resolution and Decision Making  Relational leadership requires communication skills that help each person seek to understand others, not just persuade them.  Questions to ask:  How do my perspectives and preferences shade my view?  In what ways could I be understood more correctly and understand with greater insight?

24 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Empathic Communication  Empathic communication is difficult.  Think of the complexity in this verbal process:  What I meant to say  What I actually said  What you heard me say  What you think I mean  What you mean to say  What you actually say  What I hear you say  What I think you mean

25 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Illustrations of Communication  The Question: “ Could you substitute for me at the event tonight? I have had something come up and cannot go after all.” Unassertive Response Even though you have several plans, you reply almost meekly. You deny your own rights and are intimidated into compliance. You may feel trapped or afraid to say no. You are fairly passive. “OK, sure I guess I can.”

26 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Illustrations of Communication  The Question: “ Could you substitute for me at the event tonight? I have had something come up and cannot go after all.” Assertive Response This response acknowledges that the other person had every right to ask and you have a right to make your own decision. Being assertive means you can say no without feeling guilty or without apologizing “No, I have other plans and cannot do it.” Depending on your style, you might say, “I am sorry I cannot substitute. You might ask me again sometime when I would have a little more time to change my plans, but thanks for thinking of me.”

27 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Illustrations of Communication  The Question: “Could you substitute for me at the event tonight? I have had something come up and cannot go after all.” Aggressive Response This response denies the other person had any right even to ask for your help and is rarely appropriate “How dare you ask me to do this? You always slack off on your responsibilities and I won’t stand for it.”

28 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Relational Empathy  Relational empathy goes beyond merely understanding another and seeks shared meaning.  Relational empathy recognizes the importance of context. This may mean creating a new “third culture” that synthesizes the positions from the two individual perspectives, culture and context and builds a new culture, an environment of empathy and insight.

29 Copyright ©2013 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Third Culture Develops its “own jargon, definitions, visions and understandings.” The culture says:  People are good, honest, and trustworthy.  People are purposeful.  Each individual has a unique contribution to make.  Complex problems require local solutions.  Me and you versus me or you.