Responding to Expository Prompts Step by step for staar success!
Read the information in the box below. Scientific discoveries have the ability to profoundly change how we view ourselves in the universe. Think carefully about this statement. Write an essay explaining how scientific advances have changed our world. Be sure to – clearly state your thesis organize and develop your ideas effectively choose your words carefully edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling Scientists such as Galileo Galilei and Nicolaus Copernicus helped advance the idea that Earth orbited the sun. Prior to that, most people believed that Earth lay at the center of the universe and that the moon, the planets, and the sun and other stars circled it. These ideas began to fundamentally and drastically change the way people viewed their place in the universe.
Helpful tips and reminders Example Read the information in the box below. Scientific discoveries have the ability to profoundly change how we view ourselves in the universe. Think carefully about this statement. Write an essay explaining how scientific advances have changed our world. Be sure to – clearly state your thesis organize and develop your ideas effectively choose your words carefully edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling Scientists such as Galileo Galilei and Nicolaus Copernicus helped advance the idea that Earth orbited the sun. Prior to that, most people believed that Earth lay at the center of the universe and that the moon, the planets, and the sun and other stars circled it. These ideas began to fundamentally and drastically change the way people viewed their place in the universe. Brainstorm TOPIC! Helpful tips and reminders
Write an essay explaining how scientific advances have changed our world. Step 1. Brainstorm: What are some scientific advances? How have they changed our world? Step 2. Develop a thesis. Example: Scientific advances such as __________ have changed our world by ______________. Step 3. Plan. Intro -thesis Body -examples and details -Where would we be without this advancement? Conclusion -wrap up
Example 1 A new scientific advancement that is used right now is medicine. There is a medicine for almost everything. You can buy medicine to treat an earache or a sore throat . You can also get medicine to treat more serious things like cancer. The difference between medicines is that some cost more than others. Some are so expensive that people can’t even afford them. The reason some are so expensive is that they took a long time to develop and they treat more serious diseases so the medicines themselves are more complicated and advanced. Even for things like migraines. You take go to the drugstore and buy headache medicine for only a few dollars or you can go to the doctor for an expensive prescription. The prescription that costs more and is more advanced also works better than the less advanced regular headache medicine. I think that it is really cool that we have made so many scientific advances like the advances in medicine.
What’s wrong with this? While the author does have a clear thesis (A new scientific advancement that is used right now is medicine.), the thesis is not developed. The writer describes kinds of medicines. However the prompt was to explain how scientific advancements—the author chose medicine– have changed the world. The author does not answer this prompt. While the author does provide examples, they are not appropriate to answering the prompt. The author has some issues with sentence boundaries and organization in this writing.
Example 2 What did you do the last time that you had a sinus infection or strep throat? You probably called your family doctor who was able to write a prescription for some antibiotics. Medicine, which helps people live longer, healthier lives, is just one example of the many scientific advances have changed our world. There was a time when illnesses that we now consider common took many lives. The flu is an example of this. Before there were doctors who understood the flu, people who got the flu often developed pneumonia. Without proper medical treatment, pneumonia oftentimes led to death. Now we have vaccines to help prevent people from getting the flu. Even if those who have been vaccinated do get the flu, the illness is not as severe as those who did not get the vaccine. Doctors now know what to watch for when monitoring the flu in their patients. If it progresses to pneumonia, doctors can admit patients to the hospital where they can get the care and lifesaving medicine that they need. Because of these scientific advancements, people no longer have to worry that every fever could lead to death. Before the advancements in medicine, many children died from what we now consider to be normal childhood diseases. Scientific advancements have even pushed many life-threatening diseases, such as scarlet fever, to near extinction. Children are now living into adulthood where 150 years ago their lives were cut short. This is thanks to science and is only one example of how scientific advances have changed our world.
What’s right with this? Clear hook and thesis. The thesis directly responds to the prompt. The examples and details provided in the body paragraph offer direct support to the thesis. The author varies sentence types and has satisfactory command of grammar and mechanics. The author employs a compare/contrast organizational strategy which helps keep the progression of ideas in a logical order.